Drunken Bastards, Orphans, and More
by BonesBoy15
Summary: Now a collection of one-shots that have potential. Summary will change more tomorrow. T for language, but may change. You've been warned.
1. Drunken Bastard

**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **or** _ **RWBY**_ **.**

 **Drunken Bastard**

* * *

Mistral is one of the Four Kingdoms that reign supreme over Remnant. It's known for its high social class' tastes in fine arts and being home to the lowest levels of criminal scum. One Vacoan soldier shared his major critique of Mistral during the end days of The War, which had since become a common phrase to throw in Mistralian faces.

"'While the high class wines and dines, the low class commits countless crimes,'" a youthful man said under his breath. The youth was a blond teen, his face marred with three lines on either of his cheeks. Fierce blue eyes that shifted subtly from one unknown person to another. He was currently walking through the slums of Mistral, accompanied by two towering armored and armed guards along with a feminine figure clad in a cloak and hood.

Unlike the armored men, the youth wore a deep blue belted plaid that rested from his right shoulder to his left hip and fell just below his kneecap. A dark leather vest rested over a sleeveless Jacobean that lacked lacing, matched to the bracers on his arms, the pouched belt that kept his kilt from falling undone, and the tempered animal hide crafted boots on his feet. A silver pauldron attached to the leather strap that crossed his chest – done to keep the 'belt' of the plaid in place, lest any would be pranksters try to get him to have a wardrobe malfunction – protected his left shoulder matched the gentle hue of the few metal parts of his gear, and the pommel of the enormous claymore that the leather strap kept to his back.

"Watch yer mouth, _bastard_ ," one of the two guards sneered. His grip was tight on the polearm he carried with him as they escorted the hooded figure to a seedy bar. "The Council has ears everywhere."

"Yes Sterling," the youth said dryly. His eyes rolled. "Because the Council isn't the one who organized this...Uh..."

"Rendezvous, Naruto," the hooded figure's silvery voice placed the word the youth sought.

"Right, that. Er...Thanks, M-Milady," the youth, Naruto, said. He ducked his head down when Sterling and the other guard, Tanner, sent him looks of warning. The youth slipped back, staying as inconspicuous as one could in such an environment without drawing suspicion.

The group of four walked into the rundown little building with a sign outside that read Rammer Inn. The youth lingered outside for a moment as he stared at the broken sign. He tilted his head and furrowed his brows.

 _Why in the Brothers' names would that be a good idea?_ He wondered.

"Oi! Get in here, ya git!" Sterling hollered indignantly. The youth's eye twitched.

"And they call _me_ a bastard..." He mumbled as he followed suit and came to a stop behind the cloaked woman. Being a few inches taller than the escorted, he glanced down and saw a hint of a smile on her face. Curious, he made to ask what she was smiling about, but was cut off as the cloaked figure moved towards the back of the bar, towards a shadowed table.

"Move along, Naruto," Tanner said, nudging the teen towards the shadowed corner. He and Sterling hung back by the door, leaving Naruto and the cloaked woman to approach the booth.

"Stop." A firm, but soft order came from the darkness. Red eyes peered out from the shadows and a figure soon emerged. A masked figure with raven hair, easily twice Naruto's age, but still shorter than him by at least a head, emerged and stood across from the cloaked figure with her arms crossed. Her eyes narrowed on Naruto behind her mask. "We agreed that we'd not bring personal guards."

"And I left mine at the door," the cloaked woman said. She gestured with a tanned hand that matched Naruto's skin to the blond. "He's but a boy and is strong like his father. That's all."

The masked woman blinked once, unimpressed, and the cloaked woman's hand disappeared back into her brown covering. Naruto shifted his weight uneasily from one foot to the other, while resisting the urge to pull his weapon, Beli Mawr, from his back.

"Naruto," the cloaked woman drew his attention with the soft utter of his name. She nodded. "You may have _one_ drink."

Naruto blinked. He looked at the masked woman, then back to the cloaked one.

"Um, Mo-Milady," he started uncertainly. "Wouldn't that be counter-uh, counter-?"

"Counterproductive? No. Just order _one_ drink, Naruto." A lien card, red, appeared in front of him. "Nothing less than fifty."

"Er, right. If...If that's what you want... Milady," Naruto said, again hesitating with the title he used to address her. He went to the bar to order a drink, leaving the two women to themselves.

"I wouldn't think _you_ of all people would promote the indulging of alcohol while underage, Lady Portus," the Masked Woman said dryly. The cloaked woman, Lady Portus, merely smiled again, though it seemed a bit strained if one looked close enough.

"Lady Corvus, _you_ shall understand everything once Naruto returns," she said. The Masked Woman, Lady Corvus, merely snorted and leaned back against the wall, her mask and red eyes the only things that stood out amongst the shadows. They waited in comfortable silence before a glass suddenly shattered, and their attention turned to the bar.

"What the fuck did you just say, you little shit?!" A golden-toothed cliché of a crook snarled as he waved a broken bottle at Naruto, who looked a bit wobbly along with bearing a prominent blush across his face.

"I _said_ ," Naruto began, emphasizing the word almost obnoxiously, "'Wow, your dick must be as short as your vocabulary'. To be fair, though, I thought I whispered it. And I apologized."

"Oh, you think you're being fucking cute?" Gold-Tooth asked. Naruto didn't even miss a beat.

"Bitch, I'm adorable!" he crowed proudly. Gold-Tooth swung his broken bottle at the tipsy blond, and found merit, as the glass weapon crashed against the blond's face. The crook's nasty grin fell into a look of bewildered shock when no visible damage was seen on the teen's face. Naruto blinked and frowned. "Is that all you got? 'Cause I don't _do_ quickies."

"...What the fuck-?"

Naruto reared his head back, and then snapped it forward. Skull met cartilage and shockingly, the former beat the latter. The blow also sent Gold-Tooth rocketing out of the bar, the wooden wall caving under the impromptu projectile that was a human body. Naruto shambled over to the hole he'd unintentionally made and peered out at the form that was imbedded in the brick building across the way. He pointed at the man and laughed suddenly.

"Your face looks like it caught on fire and someone tried to stomp it out!" the teen chortled. From the doorway, Tanner shook his head and Sterling grimaced.

"Sadistic _bastard_..." he grumbled. Naruto turned and looked at the guard with squinted eyes.

"You say something, Sterling?" he asked. Sterling rapidly shook his head no. Naruto nodded. "Good! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm supposed to be on bodyguard duty...Shit, I'm on bodyguard duty! And I'm _drunk_!"

"You're fine, Naruto." Lady Portus informed him as soon as he reappeared at her side, trying with all he could to appear sober. A poor job since he was slouched a bit more than usual and had a prominent streak of red across his face. Not to mention his eyes had also turned red.

"Sorry, Mo-Er, Milady," Naruto said with a sheepish laugh as he scratched the back of his head. "Mr. Shanks back there gave me a Chauntry Chuggalo...er, two hundred and sixty proof."

"You were right...I think I understand," Lady Corvus said. She lifted her mask and revealed what most would call a beautiful, if not goddess-worthy, face. Naruto, being so plastered he could barely stand up, simply thought she was 'pretty'. Her red eyes stared into his for a moment before she gave him a once over. Lady Corvus then gave Lady Portus a questioning glance. "He's broader in the shoulders, and shorter."

"My family's traits are _very_ potent, and Naruto is dedicated to his training," Lady Portus said in return. "As for his height, he's fifteen. He's still growing."

"Still?" Lady Corvus asked, a thin brow arching slightly.

"Our physician estimates him to reach General Ironwood's height once fully grown."

"Hm. Can he use the sword on his back or is it there for show?"

"In time, he will go to Mistral Academy to perfect his form."

Naruto squinted his eyes and looked between the two women. He then looked at Lady Portus suspiciously. He'd never agreed to be going to Mistral Academy. Or did he? ...Maybe he was drunk at the time. Er, drunk _er_ than he was now.

"Am I being sold as a sex slave?" Naruto asked finally, since he felt the questions were becoming more and more inappropriate. Hell, they even started discussing his dietary choices. Who _does_ that?

"W-What?!" Lady Portus asked, alarmed by his sudden comment.

"If anything, as you are now, you'd be breeding stock." Lady Corvus deadpanned. She crossed her arms. "But that's being generous."

"Lady Corvus!" Lady Portus hissed while Naruto shrugged. There were worse ways for him to die. Lady Corvus scoffed.

"You can drop the pseudonym," she said. She faced Naruto fully. "My name is Raven Branwen. I'm your aunt."

"...So, that's a no on the sex slave thing, then?" Naruto asked. Raven snorted and looked at the ashen-faced Lady Portus.

"You should temper your mouth, Naruto Branwen." A red swirling portal suddenly appeared behind Raven and she backed into it. "It's gotten my brother into trouble more than once."

Raven disappeared into the vortex and Naruto blinked before he looked at Lady Portus, who looked like she swallowed something sour.

"I take it she left before you could negotiate a new treaty for her Clan's immunity?" he asked. She nodded. Naruto hummed. He tilted his head and crossed his arms. "So...can we talk about my dad now?"

Lady Portus sighed and hung her head. "I hate you, Raven."

* * *

"I hate you, Raven." A scraggly man with graying hair grumbled as he sat down at a table across from the woman in question. He rubbed a red handprint on his left cheek that seemed to slowly be fading away. "You pick the _worst_ times to come back into my life."

"Because your requests to meet are always _so_ convienent for me," Raven said snidely to the man. She allowed a small smirk to cross her face. "How's the teaching life, Qrow? Quiet enough for you?"

"It was...then I got my _niece_ as a student." The man, Qrow, gave her a pointed look. "She could really use some advice from her mom, y'know."

"I once thought I needed the same from ours, but I turned out all right," Raven said firmly. Qrow snorted and rolled his eyes.

"That's debatable," he said. He crossed his arms. "So, you're still not interested in the slightest at trying a hand at being a mother?"

"After fourteen years-"

"She'll be fifteen next month," Qrow said suddenly. Raven glared at him for the interruption.

"I _highly_ doubt she'd welcome me back with open arms," she said flatly.

"Tai could use a hand."

"He's got you, doesn't he?" Raven asked before she held her hand up. "Wait, no, in that case he would definitely need _more_ help."

"Love you, too, Sis." Qrow deadpanned. He pulled out a silver flask and unscrewed the top. "So, I doubt you came all this way just to liven up my life with your charming personality."

"For once, brother dear, that's exactly why I came here," Raven said as soon as he started to drink. She smirked slightly when he choked and coughed, surprised by her words. "Only, I come with not only my 'charming' personality, but a little bit of advice: don't act all high and mighty when you've done the same thing that I have. If not worse."

"...Wh-What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Qrow asked, apprehensive to the vindictive smirk she had on her face.

"You might want to take a trip over to Mistral whenever you get a chance." Raven enjoyed the bewildered blink her brother gave her. It wasn't often she could pull a move like this on him, but he always made it just too funny. "I know my daughter's name, the least you could do is learn your son's."

"My...My _what_?" Qrow asked, a sinking feeling in his gut. Raven laughed softly and stood up. She started to walk towards the door, but stopped when she stood at his side and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Worry not, Qrow. In a few days time, I'm sure if you haven't found him, he'll make a nice addition to the Clan." Raven gave her petrified brother's shoulder a squeeze before she resumed her leave. She stepped out of the door for all of three minutes before she popped her head back in and smiled at his back. "Oh, and congratulations. It's a boy."

Qrow finally let his flask fall out of his grip, numb to the world while his sister's words, and laughter, echoed in his head. He sat there for a good few hours, not drinking, just processing. He had a son. He had a _son_!

 _How old is he? What does he look like? Who is his mother? Why wasn't I contacted? How the hell did Raven find out before I did?_ These thoughts and others raced through Qrow's head countless times for over an hour. He leaned back in his seat and stared up at the ceiling. _I'm_ way _too sober for this shit._

"Henry!" Qrow called, garnering the barkeep's attention. He pointed at his table with one hand while he rubbed his face with the other. "I'm gonna need three doubles!"

Three hours and a consumption of alcohol that could possibly shut down a weaker being's liver later, Qrow shambled through the streets of Patch. He hiccupped and giggled to himself throughout his stroll, the thoughts of his conversation with his dear sister still on his mind. He was a father, he had to tell _everyone_ , but only after he told someone that would be able to help him out.

It was with this thought in mind that Qrow stumbled into his brother-in-law's front door. He fell forward into the wood with all of his weight, easily bursting through the obstruction. He landed, however, flat on his face.

"I'm _ba-ack_!" Qrow's muffled cry earned a high pitch yip and several licks to the face. A red eye cracked open as the aged Huntsman gave a one-eyed glare to the corgi. "Lick me again, see what happens."

"He's just saying good morning, Qrow. Zwei, go check on the girls." A yawning blond man sent the dog off scampering towards the back of the house. He was tall, broad shouldered, a bit grizzled and clad in only his pajama bottoms. Through sleep-filled eyes, he stared down at Qrow's unmoving form. He blinked a few times and rubbed the scratchy five-o'clock shadow on his chin. "Wow. You're actually shitfaced drunk. I think I need a camera."

"Get bent over a barrel," Qrow said, glowering at the man's covered knees. With a grunt of effort, Qrow pushed himself up to his feet, stumbling back due to a lack of balance and catching himself on the doorway. The man laughed at his inability to stand upright. Qrow scowled. "Yeah, because you're so much better at walking after you get wasted."

"C'mon, you dusty old fool," the man said with another laugh as he pulled Qrow's arm over his shoulder. "The girls don't wake any earlier than seven, usually."

"Mm. Must be nice, having the wee hours all to yourself," Qrow said thoughtfully as he was guided to the kitchen. The blond man settled him into a chair and then began preparations to get coffee. Qrow slouched down in his seat and let out a few incoherent mutterings before he said anything worth value. "Raven stopped by."

"Please." The man snorted as he stared down at the coffee pot. "I figured as much. Why else would you get so drunk you could hardly stand straight? What she want this time? Give you another offer? Insult Ozpin?"

"Taiyang," Qrow said softly. The man, Taiyang, knew that the drunk hardly used his full name unless it was serious. So Qrow was a bit pleased to meet his friend's lilac gaze with his own crimson. "She told me...That I had a son."

"...With her?" Taiyang asked slowly, almost confused.

"No! What the hell, man?" Qrow glared at him. "Are you normally this stupid in the morning or am I just unlucky enough to catch you on a dumb day?"

"Hey, I wouldn't put it past Raven to decide that she needed to have a 'stronger offspring for the good of the clan'," Taiyang said with a poor impersonation of the woman. Qrow softened his gaze.

"She wouldn't do that, Tai. Maybe if you two hadn't hooked up when you did, but not after."

"And you think she's not lying to you?" Taiyang asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Maybe she's just trying to throw you off your game. Make you sloppy so she can swoop in and snatch...Uh..."

"Amber," Qrow said. He nodded and rubbed his head. "I thought about that, but it's not her style. The strong live, and the weak die. Lying, in her eyes, is a ploy made by a weakling. You know that. I know that."

"Right...So why would she tell you about this kid of yours?" Taiyang wondered. He turned and grabbed the pot of coffee when the machine beeped. He poured himself and Qrow a mug before he joined the man at the table.

"Asked myself that a lot, too. Then, about fifteen minutes ago, it hit me." Qrow chuckled sardonically. "She was mad at me."

"...She told you about a kid you may or may not be the father of," Taiyang began, growing incredulous, "Because she was mad at you?"

"Raven's got a weird way of thinking. Strong live, yadda, yadda, whatever," Qrow said, waving the words away like he was swatting at flies. He took a sip of his coffee and sighed. "But, she's still my sister. We've got sibling squabbles, too. And I might've...may have been...throwing Yang in her face a lot."

"...Geez, Qrow, no wonder she told you about a kid," Taiyang said with a grimace. He stared down at his mug. "If our roles were reversed, I would've kicked your ass at least five different ways to Sunday by now."

"I know, but I wasn't doing it maliciously. I was just, trying to, y'know...help," Qrow said with a weak smile. Taiyang cocked a half-grin back at him.

"I know, Qrow. Thank you."

"Anyway," Qrow said. He swirled his coffee a bit and frowned. "She told me this supposed kid is over in Mistral...and that she's going to take him if I don't find him."

"...God, and you two are siblings," Taiyang said with a grimace. "I can only imagine how you'd be if you weren't blood."

"Oh, one of us would be dead in a ditch by now, no two ways about it." Qrow shrugged off the little fact. He narrowed his eyes at his mug and then looked at Taiyang. "When's the last time we were in Mistral? I mean, legit, _in_ Mistral's walls?"

"All of us?" Taiyang asked. He sat back and thought about it for a moment. "A year or so before Yang was born, I think. Last time all four of us were there, at least. The Nevermore roost, remember? Then you and Summer went about, oh, I'd say a year after, to get some extra lien."

"Right...The Beowolf pack." Qrow frowned. He stared at the mug in his hands, his brows furrowed, before he looked back at Taiyang. "What do you think I should do?"

"Go find out if Raven was just messing with your head," Taiyang said without missing a beat. He reached over and put a hand on Qrow's shoulder. "We need you at your best, Qrow."

"Funny, most would want me at my worst," Qrow said with a snort. Taiyang rolled his eyes and retracted his hand.

"You know that Summer didn't believe that's your semblance, right?"

"We're not having this discussion again, Tai." Qrow cut in sharply. He sat back and drank from his mug. "In fact, I'm certain we agreed on it."

"Qrow...You could have a son out there. A son!" Taiyang beamed at his friend. "I could have a nephew! The girls might have a cousin! Think of the things you could teach him."

"Yeah, lesson one: Always use protection." Qrow smirked.

"Stop acting like being a father _isn't_ something you've ever wanted." Taiyang snorted. He smiled fondly as he glanced toward the hall. "It's one of the most taxing jobs out there, sure, but it's also the most rewarding."

"Whatever you say, Tai." Qrow shook his head. He set his mug down and made to rise. "Well, if that's the case, I should get going, then."

"What? You just got here," Taiyang said. He frowned. "Not even going to say hello?"

"If Raven _wasn't_ trying to mess with me, which I don't think she was, at least, not intentionally, then I should go now." Qrow sighed and rubbed his head. "Her words...Not a threat, but a promise. A way to accept the challenge I threw at her."

"...She'd raise your kid..." Taiyang looked crossed between hurt and outraged.

"As a member of the clan." Qrow finished with a frown. "I won't let any kid live like we did, Tai. Mine or not."

"...Fine, but I want you to do something for me." Taiyang stood up. He crossed his arms. "Take the girls."

"Excuse me?" Qrow asked flatly.

"Take. The. Girls." Taiyang repeated. Qrow opened his mouth to protest, but Taiyang held his hand up. "Hear me out, Qrow. If you just slink around and look for a visual confirmation, you'd be getting only half the satisfaction you want out of this. The gnawing need to know him would eat at you."

"Not if I drank it into submission," Qrow said firmly. "Plus, I'd be doing the kid a favor."

"Yeah, because not knowing her mother in the slightest has worked out _so_ well for Yang," Taiyang said dryly. Qrow winced.

"...Dick move, Tai," he said. Taiyang shrugged.

"I do it out of love." The blond crossed his arms again. "Now, I'll get the girls ready, but you stick around and sleep. Knowing your luck, the mother of this child will either want you dead on the spot, or just barely give you the time of day. Might as well be presentable for her."

"If she didn't die in childbirth." Qrow added morbidly.

"Always the optimist," Taiyang said with a dark chuckle. "Go sleep on the couch, Qrow. I'll wake you up in a few hours so we can get the girls ready."

"Why are you so insistent that I take the girls?"

"Because A) It will at least show this kid or his mother that you do care about family," Taiyang said. "B) Yang and Ruby get to see a bit of Mistral and Yang can get more information on that school if she wants. And C) I'll get a few days peace of mind to catch up on my grading without having to worry about the girls trying to kill each other."

"Mostly, C, right?" Qrow asked with a smirk.

"Like I said, parenthood is taxing," Taiyang said with a shrug. "And with your kid over in Mistral, who knows what weird traits he picked up. Now get some sleep, you'll need the extra energy to keep an eye on the girls."

"Yeah, fine..." Qrow grumbled. He interlaced his hands behind his head and meandered over to the couch. "Whatever you say, _dad_."

* * *

Naruto's eventful meeting with his father and cousins came and went with a tale so long it may as well be its own story. After the brief adventure, he kept in contact as well as he could with his father, but was often more in contact with Ruby and Yang. The youngest of the two sisters would often include overly specific details of her day or week when she wrote her messages and the older would be frustratingly vague or obscenely humorous whenever her script arrived. Naruto would keep the healthy balance of communication flow they had, but often gave them only a single sentence in the form of a riddle.

"Wow, she _really_ doesn't like your riddles, Naruto." The young heir, Menma, said to his half-brother one day he read a reply from Yang. Naruto smiled wryly at the boy.

"Indeed. And if you tell Mom, I will not go easy on you in our next spar. I'll have a keg on hand."

Needless to say, the young Menma quickly learned to keep his mouth shut.

Years passed, and with time, there came a lull in communication between the family. Naruto mentioned openly in one of his last messages to his cousins that he was going to be preparing for his enrollment to Mistral, much to their complaint. He managed to pass the written entry exam, showing that his alcohol consumption did little to hinder his mental capabilities.

It was during his initiation, however, that brought forth the most challenge. Not due to the task they had to complete, oh no. That was too easy: Go out into the Grimm infested wilds, find one of the twenty-six playing cards scattered throughout the area, and come back. However, there was a catch. For every low scoring individual, they were paired with someone who scored the opposite. Now, Naruto wasn't the _worst_ scoring person in the exam, but he wasn't exactly in that top ten.

"Are we back at the school yet? This bog is going to ruin my boots." The scrawny redheaded teen that accompanied Naruto complained. Tight white jeans were tucked into brown boots, a red captain's coat hung loosely from one shoulder, a white T was intentionally partially tucked into his pants, and a grey scarf was tied around his neck. Scarlet's red hair was mostly shaved off, his bang covering one eye, while the other sported a light line under it.

His name was Scarlet David and he was a wannabe swashbuckler in Naruto's opinion.

"Oh, please spare me your complaints." Naruto groaned as he trekked carelessly through the marsh. He'd grown significantly taller since he'd first taken his father's name, now at Qrow's height, while also filling out to have a defined V-shape that most would love to have, either as their own body or to grab onto. The blond had also done away with the rest of his shirt's sleeves, finding that they would restrict his arms' movement due to the added bulk. "If anyone should be uncomfortable, it's me. I'm in a freakin' kilt for crying out loud. Do you know what long grass feels like when it's tickling the inside of your thigh?"

"No. ...Hey, come to think of it, why are you in a kilt?" Scarlet asked. Naruto looked over his shoulder, peering down at the shorter teen behind him.

"Choose your next words _very_ carefully."

"What I mean is, uh, that it seems like an impractical, um, _attire_ for a Huntsman," Scarlet said quickly.

"Yes, it would be so impractical, as all Huntresses dress in skin-tight pants or dominatrix-worthy leather, forgoing any and all dress-like clothes or loose accessories as they do," Naruto said with a snort. He opened his mouth to say something else, but stopped and his left hand grabbed onto Beli Mawr's hilt. Scarlet stopped behind him and Naruto held his right hand out to signal a need for quiet.

Blue eyes scanned the trees around them, and both teens drew their respective swords. Scarlet turned and covered the path they just traversed, his cutlass drawn held at half-arm's length from his body while his flintlock rested at his side in his hand. Naruto kept Beli Mawr in one hand, the large claymore held out horizontally with the width of the blade facing any would be opponent. A rustle in the trees caught their attention.

"Scarlet!" Naruto barked as he turned to face the trees, shifting the grip on his weapon to take it in both hands. Scarlet turned and fired a shot into the wood. The fired shot was followed by a yelp, a wet thud, and belly shaking laughs from another male. Not really expecting such a reaction, Scarlet and Naruto ventured towards the sound.

They found a golden haired monkey faunus hanging by his tail and laughing at the stuck form of his blue-haired teammate. Who was waist deep in the marsh, and foaming at the mouth.

"I didn't kill him, right?" Scarlet asked, a bit nervously. Naruto rolled his eyes as he sheathed Beli Mawr before he waded over to the half sunken blue-haired teen, and with one hand, yanked him out. The teen then instinctively clung to his arm, hanging like a scared child, as he snapped out of his foaming state.

"I kind of wish you did." Naruto deadpanned. He gently lowered his arm and the teen let out a high pitched shriek, making the Faunus howl with a new round of laughter, before he scurried up to jump from Naruto's shoulders onto a nearby tree branch. Scarlet and Naruto, who was rather peeved at being used like a ladder, shared a look.

"That's not normal," Scarlet said. He looked at the monkey Faunus and whistled sharply. The boy's laughter stopped as he cringed and clapped his hands over his ears.

"Ow, man, why'd you do that?"

"I had to get your attention somehow," Scarlet said dryly. He sheathed his cutlass and holstered his flintlock before he crossed his arms. He nodded at the trembling blue-haired boy's form. "What's his deal?"

"Him?" The monkey-tailed blond dug his pinky finger around in his ear. "Ah, he's fine. Just a little afraid of water."

"...That's being a _little_ afraid?" Scarlet asked incredulously. Naruto snorted and reached into his pouch, pulling out the silver flask that bore his father's family crest. He drank down the liquid courage, put the flask away, and then grabbed the blue-haired boy by his head.

"Sleep." He grunted simply, forcing the goggle-wearing teen to face him. Naruto took a deep breath and then let out a mighty belch, a visible wave of odor firing right into the teen's face. The blue-haired teen was out like a light, allowing Naruto to pry him from the tree and sling him over his right shoulder.

"...Damn, dude! Talk about dragon's breath!" The faunus pinched his nose and waved his hand in front of his face. "You need a mint!"

"I'll get one when we get back to the school." Naruto sighed. He looked at the Faunus and arched a brow. "So, you get your card or should I dump this guy back in the water?"

"Nah, we got ours." The teenage faunus flashed a grin and pulled out the Jack of Spades. "Sun Wukong. Sleeping beauty there is Neptune Vera...Uh, Virile-Er...That's Neptune."

"Naruto Branwen," Naruto said simply. He gestured to Scarlet with his free hand. "My partner, Scarlet David."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," Scarlet said with a short bow, getting a nod in return from Sun. He rubbed his chin while he pulled out the Jack of Diamonds they'd gotten. "Do you think we'll be sorted by suit color or by pair?"

"Guess we'll find out when we get back to the school." Naruto shrugged. He glanced at Sun curiously. "You got a weapon on hand?"

Sun laughed sheepishly. "I...Might've accidentally left it at the school."

"And you're still alive? Not bad, Sun Wukong. Not bad at all," Naruto said with an appraising nod.

"Thanks. So, hey, I gotta ask: Is it true?" Sun asked. He gestured at the choice of wear the other blond wore. "The whole thing about Huntsmen who wear kilts?"

"Could be." Naruto smirked slightly. "You wanna check?"

"Gonna pass on that offer, pal," Sun said with a laugh and a rub of the back of his head. "Maybe next time."

"Your loss." Naruto chuckled. The three boys and their unconscious plus one made their way back towards Mistral Academy, making small talk along the way.

* * *

"Team SSNN!" Three boys stood up sharply from their seats as their professor, Prof. Brown, addressed them. The twig of a man swiveled his bushy moustache with a frown on his face. He stabbed his umbrella sharply into the ground, causing the classroom to start at the action. "Mr. Vasilias, where is Mr. Wukong?"

"Uhh...Well, um, you see, sir-" Neptune began, trying for all he was worth to keep his façade of calm, cool and collected together while faced with their first challenge since Sun up and vanished on them the day before.

"He went for another walk." Naruto cut in. Neptune, Scarlet and Professor Brown looked at the kilted member of Team SSNN – whose current kilt was less flashy and monochromatic, in order to be worn with the rest of the boys' uniform. Naruto blinked and shrugged. "What? It's not the first time he took a walk."

"I'm beginning to doubt Professor Lionheart's decision to name him your team leader," Professor Brown said flatly. He hardened his beady eyes at the three. "You will find your leader before the day ends, boys, or you will suffer the most severe consequence any academic instructor such as myself can bestow upon a student."

"Suspension?" Scarlet asked hopefully.

" _Expulsion_."

"That's bad, right?" Naruto squinted his eyes. Scarlet and Neptune gave the towering blond matching looks of horror.

"...Mr. Branwen, are you intoxicated? _Again_?" Professor Brown asked incredulously.

"Of course not, Professor," Naruto said with a scowl. He crossed his arms and jutted out his bottom lip in a childish pout as he averted his eyes. "I'm not stupid enough to get wasted, but I might've had an early cup of brandy."

"Dude!" "How?!" Neptune and Scarlet both glared daggers at the larger teen. The latter pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I thought I confiscated your stash and flask last night!"

"Yeah, but, Sun gave it back so I wouldn't tell you guys that he snuck onto that cargo ship that was heading for Vale. Oh, for the love of the Brothers," Naruto clapped his hand over his eyes. He was oblivious to the roundabout look of shock that overtook the entire class, including the previously stern professor. "Now I owe him three barrels of fruit! Though, I never did find out what he planned to do with all those bananas I got him last-"

" _Mr. Branwen_!" Professor Brown had finally found his voice, and then some pitch. The class collectively cringed as the glass shattered from their professor's semblance, a vocal sort that amplified the impact of sounds he emitted orally. Naruto and his teammates winced, since they were the targets of the accidental attack. Professor Brown pointed at the door. Neptune and Scarlet made to sit back down, but a pointed look from those little brown eyes told them they weren't exempt from the trip they had to make.

"If we manage to find Sun first, I have dibs on killing him." Neptune growled. He grabbed at his hair and let out an anguished cry. "I told him! I _told_ him not to do anything stupid for one week! _One_ week! Then we'd _all_ be heading over to Vale! Now we're going to get expelled! I'm never going to have a girlfriend or get a hunters' license, and worst of all! _Worst_ of all! I'll have to go into the family business!"

"What is it? Being lifeguards at the local pool? A waterpark? Or, dare I suggest it, the beach?" Naruto asked flatly, smirking when Neptune rounded a glare on him.

"You think it's funny?! This is partially your fault!"

"How? If you guys just let me have my booze, I _wouldn't_ be tempted so easily to let Sun get away with his antics," Naruto said. His smirk became a wide, face-splitting grin. "If you're going to blame anyone, blame yourselves for caring more about _your_ image than _our_ passion."

"I can't- You drank during _class_!" Neptune protested. He looked at who he presumed to be the only other rational member of their team. "Scarlet, help me out here!"

"I don't know...at most, all he would've gotten were individual detentions and while his grades aren't spectacular, Sun is still marginally better at paying attention in class than he is," Scarlet said thoughtfully.

"Thank you." Naruto nodded. Neptune's eyebrow twitched.

"You can't seriously be considering that he's right," the blue-haired boy said. He gestured at the whiskered blond. "He's got a problem!"

"It's only a problem when people get in my face or on my nerves."

"Which always happens whenever you drink!"

"That's not my fault. That's just a coincidence."

"Bull!"

"Yeah?" a passing student asked, his massive ten-gallon hat shading his eyes. Neptune waved him off.

"Not you, Bull. I was telling Naruto he was full of it again."

"Ah, alright." Bull resumed his leisure walk down the hallway and ducked around the corner. Naruto watched him go while rubbing his chin.

"Weird how he's always around whenever someone feels the need to call someone else out," he said thoughtfully.

"We can get into whether Naruto's alcoholism is a problem or not-"

"It's not!"

"Later," Scarlet said, ignoring the aforementioned blond's input. He brushed down his uniform and ran his hand through his hair as he nodded at the door they approached. "We're here."

The crest of a crowned heart was plastered on the wooden door. The three teenage boys all felt a bit uneasy as they approached their headmaster, intending to tell him the news of their leader's absence from the Kingdom. Lionheart was a kind, accommodating man, but he wasn't a pushover.

"...So, who wants to go in first? I nominate Scarlet." Neptune suggested. Naruto nodded.

"For once, I agree."

"Both of you just lost whatever shit you were previously full of," Scarlet said under his breath. He reached for the handle of the door, only for it to turn on its own and the wood door to be pulled open. The three boys blinked in surprise as a golden-eyed student stepped out of the headmaster's office with two other students flanking her. She blinked once and then smiled pleasantly at them, or to be specific, Naruto.

"Hello, Naruto." The raven-haired beauty smiled up at the tall blond and let her hands fall behind her. "What brings you to the headmaster's office? Did your team get into another ...dispute?"

"Nah, Sun's gone for a walk," Naruto said with a nonchalant shrug. "We have to ask Leon what to do. Oh, and, nice to see you again, Cinder."

"Oh, I see. Then perhaps it wouldn't be presumptuous to inquire as to whether you'd like to accompany us to the seating arrangements for the trip to Vale?" Cinder asked. Behind her, the silver haired Mercury rolled his eyes while the mint-haired Emerald glared daggers at the blue-eyed blond. Neptune mimicked the latter while Scarlet shook his head in bemusement.

"...Uh, not to sound like an idiot, but...what?" Naruto asked. Big words always threw him off. Especially when he was a bit inebriated. His mother was the same way in her youth, according to some of the guards or his stepfather, depending on who you asked.

"She wanted to know if you'd like to sit with us on the way over to Vale," Mercury said simply. He smirked lightly when he felt Emerald's glare shift to him. Ah, he loved riling her up.

"If we even go." Neptune cut in. He reached up and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder while a charming grin crossed his face, aimed at the two women. "But, for the sake of optimism, we'd _love_ to sit with you, Cinder. And Emerald, I saw you there, you gem."

"I doubt the invitation was extended to you, _Vasilias_. You slime ball," Emerald said curtly. The blue haired boy moved to sulk in the corner, a raincloud of despair over his head.

"So... _Mean_..."

"As much as we'd love to continue conversing with you, Cinder, we do have to speak with the headmaster urgently," Scarlet said swiftly. He grabbed the depressed Neptune by his collar and pushed the bewildered Naruto towards the door. "Perhaps we'll discuss more after we speak with the professor."

"Of course. See you later, _Naruto_ ," Cinder said with an inflection on the name that made the boy furrow his brows in confusion. The door shut behind the three boys and her sweet smile remained, while her eyes lingered on a lower part of the door.

"...So, you did have a reason to choose Mistral as our 'school' instead of Shade," Mercury said with a smirk. He grunted when Emerald sharply jabbed her elbow into his side. "What? What'd I say?"

"You're being an idiot. Shade's headmaster is not as easy to manipulate as Lionheart is. The man is as gullible as Ozpin, but lacks the backbone that can keep General Ironwood in line," Emerald said sharply.

" _Right_. Nothing to do with the fact that Cinder's crush is-urk!" Mercury began to choke as Cinder wrapped her hand around his throat.

"Emerald's astute evaluation was on point. While there are some _perks_ to being in our homeland's school, including the presence of a previous associate, it is mostly out of convenience and ease that we chose Mistral. Do not _assume_ anything more. Am I _clear_ , Mercury?" Cinder asked him, her eyes ablaze with anger.

"C-Crystal...Cinder..." Mercury said around his gasps.

"Good." Cinder released her teammate and let him fall. "Then let's go. We have to prepare the seating chart and adjust some evaluations."

Mercury rubbed his throat while Emerald smirked at him.

* * *

"Sup, losers!"

Scarlet and Naruto looked up as Sun approached them with a very displeased Neptune in tow, the latter covered from head to toe in a purple fluid. Naruto lowered his flask from his mouth and pulled it out at arms length to eye it warily. He looked at Scarlet sharply.

"You didn't spike my drink, did you?"

"I can't spike alcohol with more alcohol, Naruto." Scarlet sighed. He looked at Neptune again. "Do I want to know-?"

"No." Neptune shot down firmly. "No, you do not."

"Neptune got drenched by some Everyone Loves Grape that was thrown in a food fight," Sun said simply. Naruto snorted while Scarlet gave the glowering blue-haired teen a sympathetic look. He carefully grabbed Neptune's arm and led him towards the dorm to clean up and change.

In their haste, they left Naruto and Sun alone.

A mistake they made often.

"So, what'd you do on your walk?" Naruto asked, his arms crossed while he leaned against the building he and Scarlet were near when their teammates caught up to them. The two were looking for Sun on the other side of Beacon's campus, near the guest dorms, while Neptune checked over by the lunch hall, being a bit hungry from the flight.

Sun scrunched his nose and leaned back. "Geez, I thought Scarlet took your booze from you?"

"After you managed to bribe me with it, he and Neptune decided that my bad breath wasn't worth getting expelled over." Naruto cracked a small smirk when Sun tensed and his eyes shot open. "Yeah, didn't think that through, did you?"

"...You guys were going to get expelled?" Sun asked softly.

"Maybe. Personally, wouldn't matter to me. I'd still go out and kill Grimm. Might have to take my aunt up on her offer, though. That or go into the nobleman guard," Naruto said. Both he and Sun shuddered at the latter, considering that was a job for people who had fighting skills, but didn't want to risk going up against Grimm. Not to mention they'd be at the whim and ordered around by prissy nobles all the time.

"That said," Naruto continued once he overcame his worries with another chug of his liquid courage, he nodded at the direction Neptune and Scarlet disappeared to. "Might want to apologize profusely to them. Neptune damn near had an aneurysm and Scarlet ...well, he kept it together. Still isn't happy though."

"I'll talk to them." Sun nodded. He gave a beaming grin to his fellow blond. "Wanna meet the girls I met when I got here?"

"You certainly work fast." Naruto deadpanned with a snort. He took a sip from his flask and then nodded. "Sure, I could use something else to hold over Nerdy Neptune."

"Ha! Nerdy Neptune, I'll have to keep that in mind," Sun said with a snigger. "C'mon, they're probably relaxing somewhere ridiculous."

"I like these girls already."

It took them an hour, but their search proved fruitful and led them to Beacon's Library. Naruto continued to follow Sun towards a group of loud individuals, all while looking around and drinking from his flask. With each sip, his eyes took on another shade of red and the flush on his face slowly became darker. Had Scarlet or Neptune been there, they would be panicking.

 _But is that really anything new?_ Naruto wondered with a smirk. His musing was rudely interrupted by a loud squeal, and a sudden weight slamming into his form. Naruto fell to the floor and briefly admired the silver stars that danced in front of his eyes.

"Naruto! You're here! How've you been?! Did you transfer to Beacon!? Can you join our team?! How do you know Sun? Did you know he uses a gun-chuck staff?!"

"...Ruby, I think you broke my spine." Naruto mumbled to his excitable little cousin that was clinging to him in a tight hug. He blinked the stars out of his eyes and looked at the younger girl that was in his face. Then, with a grunt, Naruto grabbed the younger girl by her face and pushed her off. She landed with a grunt of her own on her rump while Naruto got to his feet and dusted off his Hunting Plaid, which was the same attire he wore when his team performed in combat.

"So...You know Ruby, cool. That's her sister-" Sun began, only for the buxom blond to cut him off with a snort.

"Really? Pink hearts, Naruto?" Yang teased. Naruto smirked at her.

"Wrong. Nice to see you to, Yang." He patted himself down and pulled out his flask. After a sip, he noticed the confusion on Sun's face and elaborated. "Cousins, dad's side."

"Ohh. Got it." Sun nodded. He then gestured at the bewildered black themed beauty. "This is Blake. She's-"

" _This_ is Blake? Sun, you cheeky monkey," Naruto said with a roguish grin. He walked over and punched Sun in the shoulder, knocking him clear over the table. "You didn't say she was so Brothers-blessedly _beautiful_. Neptune's going to flip his shit!"

Sun recovered mid air and laughed weakly while he rolled his shoulder while the rest of the gathered group eyed the strange blond. Coughing into his fist as he caught the light blush that crossed the other Faunus' cheeks, Sun then nodded at the last member of the all-girl team.

"And that's Weiss."

"Ah, the Ice Queen." Naruto nodded. Weiss scowled.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" she asked. She tilted her head. "And are you in a dress?"

"...Well, Ice Queen, though our time together was brief, it was ...alright knowing you," Sun said. He then jumped up to the top of the library's bookshelf.

"Ooh, Weiss...I thought you weren't going to insult people!" Ruby complained. Weiss gave her a mild irritated look.

"I was just asking a question."

"A dress?" Naruto repeated flatly, his eyes overshadowed by his scraggly blond locks. The flask in his hand let out a creak of protest while his knuckles whitened. "Am I...in a dress?"

"Uh-oh," Yang said with a grimace as she slowly sunk down to hide under the table. "You pushed the 'Dress' button. Ya shouldn't 'a did that."

"What's a dress button?" Blake asked, barely paying attention because her mind was racing in thought over so many things. That and she was still reeling from the indirect compliment Sun gave her when he didn't refute or add onto his teammate's comment.

"You know how you don't touch Yang's hair?" Ruby asked from where she was hiding behind the sleeping Nora. "That's the 'Hair' button."

"...A little warning would've been nice!" Weiss hissed. She turned to apologize, only to freeze under the small glowing red orbs that peered out from the shadowed face.

"For the last goddamned time...I'm not a cross dresser..." Naruto growled as his right hand balled into a tight fist. His arm shot out and socked a passing silver-haired student in the jaw. "I'm wearing a _kilt_ , dammit!"

"...Wow, Mercury is always in the wrong place at the right time," Sun said thoughtfully while he stared at the boy that was knocked clear through the nearest bookshelf and then through the library wall. He tapped his chin. "Must be Karma for something he did in a past life."

Naruto blinked a few times and looked around, confused. "Eh, why's everyone shivering? Is it cold or something?"

"Nah, buddy, someone pressed your button in the wrong way." Sun waved off the malicious aura that lingered slightly in the air. He jumped down and hastily began pushing Naruto towards the exit. "Well, nice seeing you all again, don't be afraid to hit us up if you wanna chill! C'mon, Naruto, before we get busted for the wall."

"Uh, yeah? Sure? Talk to you later, Ruby! Yang! Nice meeting you, Blake! Hope you chill out, Ice Queen!" Naruto called over his shoulder as he let his leader push him out of the library doors.

"...Wow, you dodged a literal bullet, Weiss." Yang whistled as she rose up from her hiding place beneath the table. She looked at the hole the Mercury guy made. "Sucks for that guy, though. Talk about getting knocked up."

"Yang...Just no." Blake groaned into her hand. She blinked and looked up. "Wait, was he in a kilt?"

"Yeah, Naruto was raised by his mom and their family's Huntsmen always wore kilts." Ruby nodded. She pouted slightly as she sat back down at their table. "And use awesome swords that I'm not allowed to touch."

"...Is it true what they say about...?" Blake cut herself off as her cheeks flushed. Team JNPR (especially a bleary and awoken Nora), Ruby and Weiss stared at her in confusion. Yang, however, gained a big smirk.

"Huntsmen who wear kilts? Or rather, what they wear underneath?" she asked. Blake's blush darkened and Pyrrha's face suddenly lit up like a flame. Ren coughed into his fist and looked away while Nora blinked a few times and then giggled madly. Jaune, Ruby, and Weiss were all in the same boat: lost.

"What do Huntsmen who wear kilts wear underneath?" Jaune asked bravely. Pyrrha elbowed him sharply in the side, and when he turned to look at her, he found himself under dark stares from both Ren and Pyrrha.

"I heard that it was socks, shoes and two shades of lipstick," Nora said with a cackle following. Ren looked at her in horror while Weiss's face resembled both Blake and Pyrrha's. Yang let out a bellyaching laugh and fell out of her seat.

"Nora!" Ren chided sternly.

"What? That's just what I heard, Ren!"

"Two shades of...?" Jaune frowned and rubbed his head. "I don't get it."

"Naruto's not a cross dresser, Nora," Ruby said with a frown as she misinterpreted the would-be innuendo. "He said so himself."

"Ruby, I love you, but man... you are _innocent_." Yang chuckled out while she wiped a tear away from her eye. She looked at her partner. "And to answer your question, you'd have to ask Naruto."

"...I'm not asking your cousin if he wears underwear!" Blake hissed.

"Then ask Sun, he's apparently Naruto's teammate." Yang shrugged. "I'm sure he knows."

Blake's blush turned nuclear and she fell forward, her face slamming into the table, unconscious at wherever her thoughts took her. Yang stared at her for a moment before her laughter began anew. Weiss and Pyrrha were both simply blushing as they pondered over what made Blake pass out.

Nora snorted.

"I highly doubt someone who acts up over being accused of being a cross dresser would be gay. Unless..." Nora gasped. "He's still in the closet and doesn't know how to come out!"

A beat passed.

Pyrrha and Weiss joined Blake in blissful unconsciousness.

* * *

"I suddenly feel the need to do immense harm on another person," Naruto said with pursed lips. Sun took a wide step to the side. The kilted huntsman rolled his eyes. "Not _you_."

"Never hurts to be careful." Sun countered. He closed his eyes and raised his index finger. "Safety first."

"Says the hypocrite." Naruto snorted. He popped open his flask and drank down the contents. He wiped off the residue spill with back of his hand and put his flask away. They walked in relative silence for a moment before Naruto snapped his fingers. "Hey, wasn't that hot redhead Pyrrha Nikos?"

"...Huh, yeah, I guess it was. She's quieter than I'd expected her to be." Sun mused.

"A lot hotter, too. Did you see how low that brassiere was?" Naruto grinned lewdly. "And she was slumped over."

"You're impossible," Sun said with a snort.

"Says the exhibitionist."

"Hey, it's not my fault my body runs at a higher degree than yours."

"You're right. The fact you like being the center of attention is just a bonus."

"And you don't?"

"Touché!"

* * *

 **(AN: _The True Huntsman_ is to the tune of and inspired by Brian Bowers' "The Scotsman")**

"Naruto. Naruto!" The blond jerked awake at the sharp nudge to his shoulder. He was partially hammered, mostly to kill the hangover he had from drinking his liver to death the night before with the fourth years of Beacon. The fools thought a freshman such as he couldn't hold his liquor, well he showed them what for!

 _Ugh, this room is too bright,_ Naruto thought as he squinted his red eyes and surveyed the room. The hall was where the students of Beacon, Shade, Mistral and Atlas currently stood in, awaiting the Amazing Professor Ozpin for some speech or whatever. Naruto would've preferred the man just send them a memo in an email. He could ignore it and let Sun give him the basic run down.

As it was, however, he had to get dressed in his school uniform. Sun looked just as thrilled as he was, the Faunus having his school shirt untucked and his tie loose. Poor guy really did run at an obscenely higher temperature than most. On Sun's other side were the spotless and dapper forms of Neptune and Scarlet, both in a heated debate over who the hottest girl in the room was and which of them got to make 'first contact'.

 _Idiots_. Naruto reached into his blazer and pulled his flask out for another sip. He was nudged again from behind and he turned to glower at the one that nearly caused him to spit out his drink.

"What do you want, Lance?" Naruto asked the brown-haired, normally blue-themed sharpshooter. The shorthaired freshman grinned and nodded at the stage.

"Ten bottles of Frisky's says you can't get the stiffs from Atlas to applaud you for another 'Huntsman' show."

Ah, the 'Huntsman' bet, something Naruto usually indulged in to liven up a dead scene back in Mistral. Lionheart found the bit amusing and normally invited a few of the other lively students to perform the song after or before an assembly to keep his student body entertained. Since only first and second years could come to Beacon this year, Naruto was one of three people who would perform, and even then, he was the only one that'd be willing to be so bold.

Mostly because he's the only one that was inebriated.

"Make it fifteen and you're on," Naruto said in a voice that was louder than a whisper. His comment got more of his class, and his teammates, to look his way. With another swig from his flask, Naruto tucked it away and cleared his throat. He began a clap that Lance soon followed, the beat rippled through the gathered Mistral students and they all clapped in time while Naruto stepped into the aisle and walked down towards the raised platform where the professor would speak from.

"Oh, no..." Neptune paled while Scarlet buried his face in his hands. Sun laughed and stuck his fingers in his mouth, a loud whistle following the impressive leap from staircase to stage.

"Well," Naruto started, holding a tune that sounded almost causal, but filled with mirth. "A Huntsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair. One could tell by how he walked that he drunk more than his share."

There were some hoots and cheers from Mistral. Naruto chuckled and continued with the first verse, stumbling slightly as he walked across the stage to look at the other three schools' students.

"He fumbled 'round 'til he could no longer keep his feet, then he stumbled off to the grass to sleep aside the street," Naruto began to clap again and grinned when his classmates joined him on the nonsensical chorus.

"Ring-ding diddle-diddle hi-di-ho, ring-ding diddly-hi-ho! He stumbled off to the grass to sleep aside the street!"

Naruto took a moment to point at a group of good-looking girls all gathered in the Shade section.

"About that time, a few young 'n lovely girls just happened by, and one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye: 'See yon sleeping Huntsman, so strong and handsome built,' " Naruto took a moment to playfully flex before he leaned over towards the Atlesian students. "'I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt?'"

At the last bit, Naruto gestured to his own kilt, and Shade's students joined swiftly with Mistral's in a loud gathering of hoots, cheers and hollers. A few brave souls joined the Mistral class as they belted out the chorus.

"Ring-ding diddle-diddle hi-di-ho, ring-ding diddly-hi-ho! I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."

"They crept up on that sleeping Huntsman quiet as could be," Naruto sang, a single finger pressed lightly over his lips and his other hand gestured to the captivated audience to quiet down. He then grabbed the side of his kilt and raised it up one leg slightly, just enough to expose his knee, which caused someone (Naruto bet it was Sun trying to be funny) to let out a loud catcall whistle.

"They lifted up his kilt 'bout an inch so they could see," he sang, letting his kilt fall back down. He gestured grandiosely. "And there, behold, for them to view beneath this Hunter's skirt, 'twas nothing more than the Brothers graced him with upon his birth."

That made the whole class of Shade and Mistral alike cheer, hoot, whistle or laugh. A few scattered cheers were heard from Beacon's bunch and fewer still from Atlas'. The last looked greatly appalled or flustered, which made Naruto nearly lose his composure, but he held strong, no more than a grand grin on his face as he sang the chorus with his classmates.

"Ring-ding diddle-diddle hi-di-ho, ring-ding diddly-hi-ho! 'Twas nothing more than the Brothers graced him with upon his birth!"

As the room quieted again for the next verse, Naruto took another swig from his flask before he quickly tucked it away.

"They marveled for a moment then one said: 'We best be gone. Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along!' They took a blue silk ribbon and tied it in a bow," Naruto looked over at his cousins' teammate that his team leader currently had eyes for and snickered at the large bow atop her head. He shook the humor away as he finished the verse. "Around the 'bonnie star' the Hunter's kilt did lift and show."

"Ring-ding diddle-diddle hi-di-ho, ring-ding diddly-hi-ho! Around the 'bonnie star' the Hunter's kilt did lift and show."

Naruto noticed that a few white shoes in Atlas' rows were tapping lightly in time with the claps. He smirked. The last line will break them for sure, and then he'll be enjoying fifteen bottles of Frisky's this week. Score. The gathered students quieted again as Naruto finished the song.

"Now, the Huntsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees. Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees. And in a startled voice, he says, to what's before his eyes..." Naruto paused here and then put his hands proudly on his hips. "O lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!"

As expected, cheers roared from around the room, including the by-the-books students of Atlas. No one was immune to the last line of the 'True Huntsman'. No one. So it was with a merry smile that Naruto joined the room for the last chorus.

"Ring-ding diddle-diddle hi-di-ho, ring-ding diddly-hi-ho! O lad, I don't know where you've been but I see you won first _prize_!"

The room was filled with cheers and applause, to which Naruto bowed and then held his hands to his classmates, who applauded louder and faster: save for the two embarrassed members of his team. Sun whistled and cheered for one second before he paled. The room quieted swiftly, drawing a confused frown to Naruto's face.

"Oh, c'mon, that sounded like legit applause for a second! I'm not _that_ bad a singer, am I?" he asked.

"Oh no." A stern woman's voice made Naruto tense. He slowly turned to meet the eyes of Beacon's resident disciplinary professor. She even had a riding crop firmly in her hand while she adjusted her glasses. "Mister... _Branwen_? Your vocal talents are...impressive. However...this is a _very_ important assembly. Your actions are reprehensive, rude and...Are you ...Are you _drunk_?"

"...If I say yes, can I go back to my team?" Naruto asked quietly. He found himself victim to a sudden and sharp amount of pain in his left ear before he was pulled along towards the doors of the hall. The enraged disciplinary professor began to grumble and curse under her breath over a 'second coming of Qrow'.

So, he had his father to thank for this pain? Good to know.

 _I really should've taken Aunt Raven up on her offer. Being a sperm-donating baby-daddy wouldn't be so bad...right?_ Naruto thought as he winced at the abuse given to his ear. _Oh well, at least it can't get any worse than this. He's still eligible for the Vytal Festival, since that was Professor Lionheart's call and not Ozpin's or any other Beacon professor. Though, why was General Ironwood here if Professor Lionheart said he didn't need to be? Also, what kind of semblance does this lady have, because my ear feels like it's going to be ripped off!_

It was just another day in the life of a drunken bastard.

* * *

 **AN: So this is a one-shot. May be continued. May not be continued. Idk, just something fun I thought up after the slow progression of Vol. 4.  
**

 **Oh well, here's hoping that vol. 5 isn't as bad!**

 **REDRUNKIFIED!**


	2. Lynx of a Chain

**AN: Okay, so I was holding off on posting this as its own one-shot, but considering how LITTLE free time I've had to finish it up, I had to split the chapter. This is the second seed of my madness.  
**

 **May The Gods Help Me**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **or** _ **RWBY**_ **.**

 **Lynx of a Chain, pt 1**

* * *

"Menagerie isn't exactly a small island, per say, but it wasn't exactly the _best_ reward the Faunus could've gotten for their contributions in the Great War. Two-thirds of the land was desert that was inhabitable. Not just because of the terrain, but also due to the creatures that live here, the sheer amount of Grimm on this island exceeded that of anywhere else on Remnant. So, when the Faunus first arrived, you could say we were less than satisfied with their reward. A good few were furious, and some called foul, but most were just happy to have a home to escape Human idiocy. Prejudice is tied forever to fear, and soon both would give way to hatred, if not handled correctly. The leaders of Menagerie carefully avoided conflict, to let the wounds heal and let the future generation determine-"

"Oi, Pops, can I go yet, 'ttebayo?"

Yellow eyes closed and a broad-shouldered man sighed. Clad in royal violet fur coat that left his furred chest exposed, beige pants and clawed boots, Ghira Belladonna was normally a very intimidating man based on his stature alone. Few dared to interrupt him in fear that he would retaliate, but little knew that he welcomed challenges, especially if they had a point that could prove his stance wrong. He was a strong-willed, intelligent and charismatic man, something you needed to be as the former leader of the White Fang and as the current leader of Menagerie's Faunus population.

So why was it that the only one that adamantly _refused_ to listen to him was an eight-year-old boy?

Ghira stared down at the heterochromatic eyes that glowered up at him. The boy was _tiny_ , barely coming up to Ghira's knee. Three large birthmarks that looked like whiskers marred his round face and golden hair that was impossible to tame spiked from his head. The boy's pointed ears had small tufts of yellow fur poking along the tip of the shell, giving the already abnormal child a further difference to most Faunus. He wore loose orange pants held up by a blue sash and tucked into a pair of boots that were similar to Ghira's, but much smaller. Aside from the black band he tied around his head, there was nothing more on the boy's skinny frame, leaving his tanned complexion exposed to the elements.

"Naruto," Ghira said once he felt that the stare-down lasted long enough. "Do you have somewhere else you _need_ to be?"

"Anywhere beats here, dattebayo," the boy, Naruto, muttered sourly.

"You need to learn our history if you ever want to become the leader of Menagerie," Ghira said as he rubbed his face. Honestly, Ghira didn't think that would ever happen even if Naruto were the strongest and smartest Faunus on the face of Remnant. He was an Odd-Ling, which was considered bad luck for a Faunus, and an orphan on top of that –rather, he was an orphan until Kali found the little runt camped out behind the local a noodle stand. It was due to his dream (and mostly because Ghira couldn't deny Kali whatever she wished) that Ghira decided to take the boy in as his ward. Recent adoption status aside, Naruto the Odd-Ling would find that it would be a cold day in Hell before the Faunus turned to him to be their leader.

"But this is so _boring_ , 'ttebayo!" Naruto groaned as he flopped back onto the floor. Ghira's eye twitched.

"I'm _boring_ you?" he asked.

"Yes!"

"Oh, well, in that case, why don't you run off and go frolic with the other kids? Or go get something to eat?" Ghira asked with a sweet smile on his face. Naruto lifted his head off the ground and deadpanned at the older Faunus.

"Your sarcasm _sucks_ , 'ttebayo."

"How do you even know what that is?" Ghira roared in frustration. Naruto let his head fall back to the ground with a thump.

"Hei-Hei told me."

"It figures! That loose-mouthed, brain dead, scaly son of a-!" Ghira growled.

"Ghira!" The sharp interjection was followed by a light coo, and both males looked at the doorway where a petite, golden-eyed woman stood with a bundle in her arms.

She had shoulder length jet-black hair and two large black cat ears that poked out at the top, the right pierced by two small gold earrings and the left pierced by one. White robes and tabi sandals rested beneath the black hakama pants, which were held up by a long black and gold band. To top off her regal appearance, she wore a shrug with a long sleeved right arm and a short left, which exposed her left black arm-sleeve and concealed the right. As mentioned before, the Cat Faunus had a bundle in her arms, a white blanket wrapped around a small figure, presumably an infant.

Ghira's temper cooled immediately as his wife walked into the room with her newborn in her arms. Likewise, Naruto had hopped up to his feet and was already at his adoptive mother's side, peering curiously and eagerly at the bundle with mismatched blue and yellow eyes.

"Naruto, get _off_ of the side-table," Kali said in a gentle, but firm tone that had no room for argument. Naturally, Naruto tried to argue.

"Aww, but Mama, I want to see-"

"Now, Naruto." Kali insisted, stopping the protest before it could even finish.

"Yes, Mama." Naruto sighed before he jumped down from the side table and crossed his arms with a pout on his face. Kali smiled gratefully at him for listening before she turned her gaze to her husband.

"Ghira, what have I said about using that type of language in front of the children?" She asked. Ghira blinked and sighed.

"Not to. I'm sorry, dear," he said softly. Kali smiled and walked up to him, giving him a quick, chaste kiss and putting a hand on his arm.

"It's fine, Ghira, just do try harder to keep it in check."

"Of course, dear." Ghira smiled at her and then down at the two yellow eyes that peered back up at him. A proud grin crossed his face for all but a second before he made a sharp inhale and his face twisted into a pained grimace. Quickly, he reached over his shoulder and pulled up a certain heterochromatic blond by his wrist. A sheepish laugh escaped the boy as he retracted his claws while under Ghira's firm glare.

"Uh, hey, Pops...Funny seeing you here," Naruto said with a wide, fanged smile. Ghira was not amused.

"And what do you think you're doing?" he asked his adopted son. Naruto's dual-colored eyes darted around in thought before they closed and the boy shrugged.

"Oh, you know... Just hanging around, 'ttebayo."

"Hanging around?" Ghira repeated dryly.

"Hanging around." Naruto reaffirmed with a nod.

"And climbing my back?" Ghira asked.

"Climbing your back?" Naruto asked, sounding indignant and surprised at the accusation.

"Were you?" Ghira pressed, a brow raised.

"No!"

"Good, because that would be bad."

"How bad?"

"I'd have to take your ramen from you."

"That's bad." Naruto grimaced.

"Indeed." Ghira hummed. He pointedly ignored the smile on his wife's face as he tucked Naruto under his shoulder. "Whelp, off we go. Say goodnight to Blake, Naruto."

" _Go_? W-Where are we going? Maybe I don't want to go!" Naruto panicked while he struggled in the larger Faunus' grip. Ghira cracked a small smile as he made his way towards the house's training ground.

"Funny, you say that like you have a choice in the matter."

"No! Wait! I just wanted to see Blake! I'm sorry, Pops! Mama! Help!"

"Try to keep the damage to a minimum, Ghira," Kali said with a small smile before she looked down at her daughter. "Now, let's go get started on dinner, hm?"

The baby simply cooed up at her mother in response, her ears flicked around while Kali smiled down at her.

* * *

Time stopped for no one, and eight years passed since the day Ghira invoked his lesson on lying to Naruto. Being as young and impressionable as he was, Naruto took the lesson to heart, being as honest as he could as he grew.

At sixteen, Naruto was lean and well toned with muscle. His face had lost a good portion of his childish chub, and he started to gain peach fuzz along the edge of his jaw, which went along well with his shorter haircut. He continued to dress in the least amount of clothes required, much to Kali's ire and Ghira's amusement, and could often be seen in just a pair of orange pants and wearing a bandolier lined with crossbow bolts that went from his left shoulder to the right hip, and had a pauldron attached which bore his insignia: a swirling cloud. Hooked onto the back of the bandolier was a gold, white and black battle fan that was about as long as his arm, and half as wide.

Though he was well built from years of training, he still stood shorter than his adoptive father, just barely passing Ghira's shoulders. Then again, most Faunus were shorter than Ghira. The leader of Menagerie had some mean genes in his blood, and a stubborn fire that passed to his daughter. That, however, wasn't always a good thing.

"I said _no_ , Blake!"

Naruto grimaced from where he leaned against the frame of Ghira's office door. He looked down at the message on his Scroll and reconsidered whether or not now was the right time to share it. His thoughts were interrupted by the door being thrown open and a short black-haired girl running out of the office, her eyes scrunched shut and glistening slightly as she rounded another bend of the large home. Naruto closed his scroll and tucked it into the pocket of his pants before he followed the girl to her room.

Finding the eight-year-old packing any and every necessity for survival into a duffle bag was not what Naruto expected when he stepped into her open door. He gently knocked on the door, and Blake jumped before she rounded, a firm glare leveled on the blond that had a hint of worry in it. Naruto ignored it and stroked his chin thoughtfully while he peered past her at the bag filled with all sorts of plastic-wrapped instant meals.

"Looks like you're getting a jump-start on your adventures, Kitten," he said wryly.

"I-I'm going to join the White Fang!" Blake declared, though her voice was softer than Naruto expected it to be. The young Cat Faunus held her hands up and fell into a ready fighting stance. "And-And I won't let you stop me."

" _Really_?" Naruto feigned shock and lifted his brows high, doing his best to not crack a grin at what he thought was the most _adorable_ thing he'd ever seen his little sister do. She was always so _serious_ , but this was just too cute! He lost his composure when her eyes narrowed resolutely, the taller blond doubling over with his arms around his sides.

"I'm serious Naruto!" Blake scowled at the guffawing teen. She fell out of her fighting stance and glared further at Naruto. "Stop laughing, Naruto!"

"I-I-I'm sorry...I'm sorry-It's just..." Naruto's laughter died down into small chuckles. He righted himself and wiped away the tears from his eyes. "Oh, god, Blake. That is probably the cutest thing..."

"I said I was being serious!" Blake's cheeks puffed up and she stomped her foot.

"I know, I know," Naruto said, still smiling as his mismatched eyes met Blake's narrowed yellow ones. He walked into the room and crouched down to be eye-level with the younger Faunus, putting a hand on her shoulder, allowing her to relax. "I take it Pops wasn't too keen on the plan?"

"...No," Blake said, her ears flattening as she averted her gaze. "We have a good life while others are suffering, it isn't fair. We have the power to do something, so why don't we?"

Naruto's grin softened into a small smile and he guided her gaze back to his with a quick flick between her eyebrows.

"Silly little kitten," he said while she frowned at him and rubbed her head. Naruto put hands on either of her shoulders. "You must really love our people, Blake, if you're willing to go off and fight for them while so young. You have to keep in mind, though, that there are others who, while they don't disagree with your reasons, love you more than the rest of us."

"Dad used to lead the White Fang." Blake muttered softly, uncertainly. "Why doesn't he want to help everyone?"

"You don't think leading Menagerie is helping?" Naruto asked with his right eyebrow cocked up incredulously. He tapped Blake on the nose, making her eyes cross briefly, and grinned. "You've got so much to learn, you goober. I just hope that on this trip you learn more good about the world than bad."

Blake blinked in surprise, before her eyes squinted suspiciously. "You...You're not going to try and stop me?"

"Blake, you, like Pops and I, are one of the most stubborn people I know. And I know a _lot_ of Bull Faunus," Naruto said, his wry grin back on his face. He reached up and poked her forehead. "You're also smart, so terribly, incredibly smarter than I could ever hope to be. You want to help others? Why should I try and stop that? Especially since I _know_ that a dummy like me would never win that argument."

Blake giggled lightly and Naruto's grin widened enough to display one of his pronounced fangs. Blake's laughter stopped when she suddenly wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck. Naruto closed his eyes and tightened his arms around his little sister, hugging her back.

"I'll miss you, Naruto." Blake whispered. Naruto delivered a quick peck to the top of the eight-year-old's head, ignoring the dampness in the crook of his neck.

"And I'll miss you, Silly Lil' Sis." He murmured. He let Blake back out of the hug and went to the door while she continued packing. Naruto stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder, Blake's head dipped forward and her shoulders trembled. A sad, but proud smile crossed his face.

"I'll get you some extra time," he said softly. The black tresses bobbed as she nodded her gratitude. Naruto stepped out of the room and shut the door behind him softly, the latch closing with a click.

"Saying good night to Blake?"

Naruto almost jumped to the ceiling. Almost. He refrained and put a hand over his chest. Turning to scold the one that nearly gave him a heart attack, Naruto's throat hitched lightly as he looked slightly down at his adoptive mother.

Kali stared back up at Naruto with a soft smile on her features. "Well? Is it safe for me to go in?"

"She ...actually just fell asleep," Naruto said with a sheepish chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head. "And I wasn't saying goodnight, I was telling her to behave herself while I'm gone."

"Are you going somewhere?" Kali asked humorously. Naruto smiled and pulled out his Scroll to show her the message. Kali read over the words once and her ears fell slightly.

"Atlas Academy?" She asked softly. "But-?"

"They offered a full scholarship," Naruto said as he led Kali away. "Don't even have to stay in the service that long, just a couple years after I graduate to pay off any excess expenses."

"But they're-Naruto, you're not saying you're considering Atlas Academy?! Wh-What about Mistral or...Or Vale?"

"I'm not considering anything, Ma," Naruto said as he took his scroll back. Kali's ears fell further.

"You're going." She murmured sadly.

"Boat leaves at sunrise tomorrow. It's the last one for a week, any later and I'll miss orientation day." Naruto shrugged. "I just got the approval back today, that CCT delay is killer."

"You..." Kali reached up and cupped Naruto's face, looking into his mismatched eyes. As she did, her eyes watered and a smile crossed her face. "You're such a handsome boy. So tall and strong."

"I'll come home and visit, Ma. It's not like I'm going to war," Naruto said with a snort. "Heck, with the reputation they've got, they'll probably try and shove me into janitor duty or something. I bet I'll lose my mind from boredom."

"It would be their loss," Kali said as she choked back a sob. Her thumb traced over Naruto's marked cheek. "When did you get so independent?"

"Not sure," Naruto said as he pulled her into a hug that she gratefully returned. "But I wouldn't be who I am today without you, Ma."

"My sweet boy," Kali said as she tightened her grip around him. "Can't you stay a day longer? If we'd known-"

"Ma, leaving at the crack of dawn is already hard enough," Naruto said softly as he pulled away. "I don't like saying goodbyes."

"Well, it isn't goodbye." Kali murmured. She smiled and dabbed the back of her hand over her eyes to wipe away the tears. "It's just a short trip."

"A see you later," Naruto said with a knowing grin that his adoptive mother shared with him.

"Precisely," Kali said as she looped her arm around his, leading him down the hall. "Now, have you told your father?"

"No, but I get the feeling I'm about to." Naruto muttered, electing a small laugh from her.

They walked to the study where Ghira worked, and shortly had a similar conversation. He was surprised to get wrapped up in a tight, bone-crushing embrace from the older Faunus, complete with rivers of tears pouring from his eyes. Apparently, Ghira was more an emotional mess than Kali. Naruto wished he had known that _prior_ to getting a cracked rib.

At least the medical staff on the ship helped him out with that once he boarded ...And managed to slip out of the combined parental glomp that almost made him miss the ride.

* * *

"Would you stop walking for _one_ minute so we can strategize?" A fair-skinned teenage girl asked as she followed Naruto through the cold, desolate wastes that Atlas Academy's Initiation took place in.

She was tall for her age, nearly matching him in height while in her knee-high heeled boots, and was filling out nicely if one were to ask his hormones. Her white hair fell only to her shoulders, styled to curl towards her neck and perfectly framing her face. Two rapiers with chambers that held various types of Dust hung from the ice-blue belt around her waist, which perfectly held the already buttoned-up tailored white overcoat that rested over, from what he saw last he looked, a white turtleneck and white suit-pants that were tucked into her boots.

What? Naruto observed girls, he was seventeen! It was in his nature to imagine what rested beneath layers of girls' clothes, as was theirs to imagine what was under his. Or would be if he bothered to wear layers. The most he wore right now was a pair of slightly baggy blue jeans held up by an orange belt, and his navy and gold paw-shaped boots.

Moving beyond the subject of attire, Naruto ignored the question and continued his trek to escape the unnatural wilderness. It wasn't unnatural in the spooky way, but literally, Naruto could tell by the faint hum beneath his feet that machines and Dust made this fabricated reality into his personal Hell. Stuck in a bland, expansively _white_ location with no company other than a stiff Atlesian-born human.

Naruto absently wondered why things had turned out as they did, since there was no sign of bad luck for him up to this point. The trip overseas was rather tame, with little to no Grimm popping out, which was a tad disappointing. He'd had been bored out of his mind the whole trip and the most exciting thing to happen was the call he'd expected from his mother, panicking over what was likely to be Blake's successful run away.

Naruto had tried to calm her down before the connection was lost. He knew that the message's sudden end would only stir up more dread for his mother, but there was nothing he could do about it, so he just settled in for a long, boring trip overseas. And as luck would have it, the sudden disconnection and the following week of no communication had made his mother's worry triple, if not quadruple, to the point of agonizing maternal unease. Once the ship docked and Naruto got a better signal, he made another call home, because he noticed he'd missed no less than _fifty_ - _seven_ calls.

This turned out to be his second mistake – since _maybe_ allowing Blake to run off in the first place counted as one, but that was up for debate. Kali, after expressing relief at his safe trip, demanded that he return home.

Naruto refused. He told her that he wasn't going to miss this opportunity, that he wasn't going to brush off the extended olive branch that could help Humans and Faunus mend the shaky relationship between them, and that he believed Blake was more than capable of taking care of herself. After all, he did fine for the first six years of his life before Kali took him in.

However, Ghira then took over the call and demanded his return, with the additional ultimatum that if he didn't, Naruto was to be cut from the family line and banned from Menagerie. The heterochromatic blond didn't even bother to believe the threat for even half a second, especially when he heard Kali gasp in shock and voice her disapproval in the background. Ghira was not one to purposefully upset his wife, after all, and he was a _terrible_ liar.

Thinking on it now, Naruto wondered if that was the reason why his Pops did his best to curb his and Blake's attempts to stretch the truth.

Even with the threat of exile from his home and family, Naruto refused their demands and promptly ended the conversation. That was probably his third mistake, but at least he didn't do anything stupid like tell his parents he knew Blake was going to run off. That would've probably sealed his fate.

Naruto shuddered at the implications of how angry Ghira would've become if he learned his involvement with Blake's successful run-away. He didn't want to even think about Kali's reaction to the news. The one saving grace would be that Kali would grant him a swift and painless death, as opposed to the drawn out and painful one Ghira would instill.

"Are you ignoring me?"

"I'm trying to, but you're making it _really_ difficult." Naruto admitted to his assigned teammate without looking at her. He was stopped in place when a large, snowflake-like glyph manifested beneath his feet. Were it not for his exemplary balance, Naruto likely would've fallen flat on his face due to momentum. Still, that would be preferred than being glued instantly to the ground.

"Okay," Naruto said. He looked over his shoulder at his partner, "You have my attention."

"Oh, do I? Why thank you, good sir!" The girl said with an exaggerated curtsy. Sarcasm was strong in this one, maybe Naruto judged too much based on her looks alone. Two piercing blue eyes glared into his mismatched eyes with such intensity that he thought a glacier would start to sweat. "Now that you're paying attention, perhaps you can help me plan an attack."

"Hmm. I could do that, yeah. _Or_..." Naruto grinned and slowly began to rise off of the ground thanks to a growing cloud that emerged at the soles of his feet. The Faunus slowly drifted away and looked down at the slack-jawed Schnee heiress. "I could scout ahead and get back to you, Whiner!"

"You insufferable idiot! It's against the rules, not to mention _stupid_ and _irrational_ , for two partners to split up!" the girl shouted back. "And for the last time, my name is Winter!"

"Whatever you say, Ice Queen!" Naruto shouted back as he began to disappear into the clouds. "I got your back!"

Whatever she said was lost to him because of the distance. Oh well. Naruto crouched down and laid prone on his cloud, pulling his fan from his bandolier and flipping the safety along the edge of the handle. His fan's edge snapped out and a scope popped up from the center, as the blunt weapon became a ranged one.

"All right, Nimbus, let's keep an eye on the Ice Queen." Naruto murmured as he rested his cheek against the stock of his gun and peered through his scope. He had the feeling she was the sort that would attract trouble.

* * *

 **AN: TO BE CONTINUED...EVENTUALLY!**

 **But seriously, I will have part two posted soon. ...I hope...**

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	3. Sound of Silence

**Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **Naruto**_ **, the concept/powers of Marvel's Inhumans, or** _ **RWBY**_ **. Please support the official release.**

 **The Sound of Silence**

* * *

The people of Remnant, both Human and Faunus alike, have wondered what it would be like to escape their horrors. Faunus wanted to be free of prejudice from Man, Man wanted to be able to live as they wished without concern of the cost to their fellows and the Faunus, but all of Remnant's inhabitants wanted to be free of the threat of The Creatures of Grimm. Temporary solutions involved armed forces and training the next generation, though some believed a more finite solution could be found in the stars.

What awaited them beyond the atmosphere? A question they would never answer without a complete overhaul of their technology. Dust didn't work away from the world, so they remained grounded, locked on the surface.

Oblivious to the dedicated race that watched over them from above.

Remnant's moon was a wondrous thing. It illuminated the night sky with an ethereal light. The cause of this was not a rare Dust as some astronomers would believe. No, it was thanks to the Terrans, the former people of Remnant, that the current inhabitants continued to prosper.

Your average Terran could resemble Man and Faunus to the point that it was impossible to tell them apart, but most Terrans were not given the pleasant aesthetics Man and Faunus enjoyed. Some would be considered hideous to a Human's eye, or offensive to a Faunus' enhanced senses. A small percentage of Terrans belonged the Chimera Sect, being more animal than Man _or_ Faunus.

Such is the case with The Crown Family's Pet.

A behemoth of a fox draped itself across a large couch, compatible to that of a small car. Two small horns jutted out above the ridges of its brows, and black fur circled its eyes, spreading up to its long rabbit-like ears. A large bushy tail that ended with nine tips swayed in time with the creature's dream.

Kurama Kitsu-Ne, Pet of the Terran Royal Family, had overseen many of Remnant's years throughout his long life. He saw the embers that stoked The Great War, something he thought was more horrendous than 'great'; he saw the first Faunus uprising three hundred years before that, but felt it could've been achieved much sooner if Man bothered to listen when their slaves spoke; and he saw the birth of the Four Maidens, which coincidentally, was the same day that his father died.

Nothing would ever be more horrific for him to behold than what occurred next.

* * *

A Force within the Moon washed over the people of the Kingdom. Terrans jolted from their sleep as their home began to tremble, and the King and Queen were no exception to this. The King, a lithe man with lean muscles and a thin figure, emerged from his chambers with shock and horror on his face.

"Minato! Minato what's happening?" The beauty of a woman dressed in a fine nightgown clung to his arm. Minato Namikaze, The King of Terrans, held his wife and beloved upright. He stared into her eyes and a wordless answer was given.

"You can't be serious? You don't think that she would-?" Kushina Namikaze, the Queen, shook her head and her knee-length red hair began to twine itself into a braid. "What am I saying? Of course she would! That fool, she'll doom us all if she follows this path!"

Minato pressed his forehead to Kushina's, and her eyes stared into his. The ground trembled again, much more violently than before. The two held tight. They kept a long gaze before her eyes closed and her shoulders trembled.

"You dare ask-I will never leave your side, Minato. Come Death or The End, we will not be parted," she said, firm in her stare. His gaze softened and he rested his head against hers again. She gave him a bittersweet smile and encircled his neck with her arms. They shared a chaste kiss before she spoke again, as the sharp clatter of rushed footsteps became clear over the tremors. "He will remember our love. It's terrible and selfish and I should be damned for my words, but I must request of my King that he not risk my son's life trying to save mine."

Minato gained a pained grimace. He held his wife tighter, and she returned the gesture as another tremor shook their home. Blue eyes closed and a solitary tear escaped down his cheek.

"I love you, too." Kushina whispered, tears of her own in her eyes.

* * *

Somewhere in the forests of Anima, there was a small clearing. It was home to the many critters of the woods and remained untouched by Faunus or Man. The clearing had only been for the creatures of the forest, until moments ago, when Kurama and his charge suddenly appeared in a _wvhiish_. The massive fox gave his charge a once over.

The prince shared much of his father's appearance; sunkissed skin, spiky blond hair, ocean blue eyes, and a lean build that could be mistaken as scrawny. His face was that of his mother's, rounded with the fat of youth, and marked on either cheek with three whiskers.

 _Mom! Dad!_ He had nearly reached their side before there was a pull at his stomach, the sign of the Royal Pet's Gift being put to use. He saw them embrace and rushed to join them, to get answers from his father. He wasn't fast enough. Of all the things he didn't learn from his father, it had to be the speed.

He knew what happened. He guessed why. They gave up their opportunity to escape for him. He slumped to his knees. The grass was softer than he'd imagined it would be. The air much warmer, with a hint of salt. There was a gentle breeze he would later recollect, but all he saw now was the cracking of the Moon.

The Terran Kingdom splintered light years away, right in front of his eyes.

 _Take me back._ His demand was met with a firm refusal. He rounded on his savior. _Dammit, Kurama, I said take me back!_

 _There was nothing you could do, my prince._ Red eyes stared into his. The massive vulpine pressed his head against his chest. _They're gone._

 _No!_ The Prince snapped. He grabbed the fox's head and lifted it, forcing him to stare into his eyes. The orange-red fur was marred with wet blotches from tears. _Take me back home!_ _Now_ _!_

 _You know I cannot do that,_ Kurama tilted his head up and nuzzled the boy's whiskered cheek. _I'm sorry, my liege, but I cannot disobey the word of The King. He and the Queen died so that I could save you._

That was what he feared most. His chest tightened and he ducked his head. His eyes burned with tears that had yet been shed, but soon would fall. He clung to the fox like a lifeline, Kurama's massive paw came up to pat his back. He couldn't cry. He wanted to rant at the unfairness of it, to _scream_ and _shout_ his loss to the world _,_ but if he did it would doom this planet and everything on it.

Including himself.

 _It's not fair…_ He thought. Sad and grief ridden, he did not whine. He grieved as memories of his life, both from his perspective and Kurama's, flashed through his head. He stifled a sob and choked back more tears. _Why did this happen?_

 _I don't know, my liege, but we will find the one responsible and see to it that they suffer,_ Kurama said. He licked at the boy's cheek. _Dry your tears and rest, my prince. Your woe will bring a pack of Grimm upon us. Your grief is too fresh for you to be merciful._

His silent sobs dwindled down as he willed the pain away and took deep calming breaths, careful not to utter a single sound. Kurama was right, it was too dangerous right now for him to get in any sort of fight. He would grieve for his kingdom, his subjects and family, but it would be somewhere he knew would be safe for him to. With a shuddering silent breath, he glanced up gratefully at his protector and stroked the Fox's face.

 _Our family would've ended eons ago were you not there for us, Kurama,_ he said. His words were laced with praise and the underlying message of thanks was reciprocated by the fox's slobbery lick. He smiled and captured Kurama's enormous head in a hug. _Thanks, buddy._

 _It is my duty to the crown to ensure it lives on,_ Kurama returned. He pulled back and sniffed the air before growling and stalking off towards the wood. _This way, Naruto. We will find shelter and tomorrow, a new day begins._

Naruto Namikaze, Crown Prince of Terrans, followed his protector into the wood. He paused only to send a fleeting glance over his shoulder at the cracked moon. A solitary tear raced down his cheek as he turned and walked away..

* * *

A month they'd been on Remnant. A month since the Moon cracked and thousands died. The Remnants were oblivious to their defenders' demise. Their squabbles over equality and resources seemed petty in his eyes, but he was not unsympathetic. They wished to ensure their survival, and in a world where soulless creatures attacked without provocation, it was with good reason.

A day prior, Kurama whisked them from the forest and deposited him within an alley in the Kingdom of Atlas. The most technologically advanced kingdom seemed the most logical place for the prince to learn about his new home. The massive fox had heard a 'call' from the nearby area, something only another Terran could achieve, and set out to investigate. Naruto, left with only the clothes on his person, a black coat and pants that he snatched from a hanging wire, began to walk the streets and observe the people.

 _I do not understand why the Faunus do not choose a new land to inhabit and grow from there,_ Naruto frowned as he observed an advertisement that slandered the White Fang's terrorist acts.

He knew of Menagerie, the Faunus' supposed safe haven, but clearly his use of the the word was different from Remnants'. To a Terran, a menagerie was a collection of animals kept for exhibition or study. They had a few simulated forests in The Kingdom, created by Terrans' brightest to keep captured animals safe and alive while under study.

Shaking his head, Naruto turned away from the screens and resumed his stroll. His stomach rumbled and he grimaced. He had no currency of his own and stealing these clothes was the only low he was willing to sink to. Terrans had a strong opinion on right and wrong, and theft was in the grey. One could steal for food if a family starved, yes, but at the same time, they could also go hunt. Fear of Grimm is what drove most to drastic measures.

Naruto did _not_ fear Grimm.

"Watch where you're going!" A man in uniform snapped when Naruto accidentally brushed against him. He glanced back with an apologetic look on his face, and then made to continue his trek towards the city gates, but a hand grabbed his arm. "Hey, I'm talking to you, Whiskers!"

Naruto glanced down at the tight grip and then looked the man over. His white uniform was pristine and fresh. There was an absence of a scent that led the blond to believe the uniform had yet been washed. That meant this was a new uniform.

"You got anything to say, punk?" the man asked.

 _Let me go. I'm sorry I didn't see you._ The limited telepathy of the Crown was more a curse than it was a blessing right now. Kurama would've been able to amplify it, had he been present. Alas, he wasn't, so Naruto was forced to try and give his apologies through facial expressions.

"Yeah, keep smiling. Up against the wall, smartass!"

His cheek pressed against the uneven stone that constructed the nearest building, and his limbs were forcibly spread apart. Naruto would've felt violated if he wasn't so worried about being arrested for 'not apologizing'. The Infiltrators said nothing about speech being a key component of Remnants' law. Then again, Naruto's knowledge of the Infiltrators was limited, because his father would always send him out at a certain point of a meeting. Maybe then they spoke of it.

"No ID? How'd you get in the city?" The man asked. Naruto stared at him incredulously. It wasn't like there was a checkpoint he had to pass to get in. Or was there?

 _Dammit, Kurama._

"Still playing quiet, huh? Alright wise ass. C'mon, let's go have a chat with The Commissioner," the man said. He grabbed Naruto's wrist and pulled it behind his back. Metal jingled and Naruto's eyes widened.

 _No!_ He struggled and tried to pry his arm free.

"Stop resisting! You're under arrest for illegally entering Atlas and assaulting an officer!" The man snarled as he latched a cuff around Naruto's wrist. His other hand was gripped. "Stop resisting!"

 _Right, stop struggling. Because I'm the one at fault._ Naruto took a deep breath and yanked his cuffed arm from the officer's grasp. He then swung it back and clocked the man in the jaw with his elbow. The man soared across the street and through a display window.

Oops, now he really did assault an officer.

"Hey!" More uniformed men and women began to advance on him. Naruto pushed himself away from the wall and ran for the Kingdom's limits. He made it a block before the sirens began to blare. He groaned and ducked around a corner. He pushed through people, leapt off parked cars, and raced through the streets.

A glance over his shoulder and he saw three automobiles with flashing lights and blaring sirens pursuing him.

 _You've got to be kidding me_. The officers of this kingdom must be either on edge or bored out of their mind if they're this dedicated to capturing one individual. Another two cars approached from the front. Naruto slowed to a stop when they turned and blocked the road. The drivers and other occupants exited the car, ranged weapons drawn on him.

"Freeze!" One shouted. He turned to retreat, but the cars behind him blocked his escape. The officers in them emerged from their vehicles with weapons drawn.

 _Are those sticks?_ Naruto furrowed his brows when a few of the officers flicked out two feet long batons.

"Hands above your head! Get down on the ground and put your hands above your head!"

 _I didn't even_ do _anything! This is outrageous!_ He thought, eyes narrowed.

"Put your hands in the air and get down on your knees!"

He slowly began to raise his hands, but one of the stick-wielding officers came up to swing at the back of his knee. Years of training with his parents and godfather had made his reflexes almost immediate. He spun around the blow and his leg lifted. It slammed into the officer's back and rocketed him forward into one of the ranged weapon wielders.

"That's it!" the other officers rushed at him, all now holding the same metal sticks, and a mockery of a dance began. Naruto dodged, caught and deflected the sticks into the other officers, careful not to strike them anymore. Terrans had to be strong to withstand the effects of microgravity. It would appear that Remnants were not as strong.

"We have a Code Three-One-Five, repeat a Code Three-One-Five. We have an Enhanced Strength Semblance resisting arrest and require assistance!"

 _I'm only resisting because you're attacking me!_ Naruto thought furiously. His annoyance blinded him to an incoming blow to the gut. The assault made air rush from his lungs and he let out an audible grunt.

"Unf!"

The two parked cars that obscured his initial path were demolished by the wave of sound that escaped his lips, flipped through the air, and disappeared over the Kingdom's walls.

The fight stopped and the officers stared at the breathless prince as he remained prone, coughing from the blow. They inched towards him, before they pounced. He was buried beneath their bodies and his wrists were bound behind his back. Something stabbed into his neck and a wave of exhaustion overcame him. His eyes grew heavy and fell shut just as shouting was heard.

"The hell are you all doing on the ground? What happened to those squad cars…?"

 _Me and my big mouth._

* * *

Naruto awoke in a bright room, his arms were cuffed to a chair that was bolted to the floor. The chains that allowed him a small amount of movement were thick, each link about the size of his wrist. His head was foggy and his stomach hurt. In front of him was a steel table, the same shade as the room around him.

Up to his left, mounted in the corner of the ceiling, was a small black device. A camera. To his right, a thin sheet of glass. Beyond the table was a door without a visible handle.

It slid open and a man dressed in a white suit and blue vest entered. He had greying hair upon his head and a rectangle of metal protruding above his brow. The man had a strong jaw and a gaze that was focused on Naruto, and only on Naruto. The device in his gloved hand, a translucent chart of some sort, was ignored for the hard stare the man leveled at him.

 _Take a picture, it'll last longer._ Naruto thought, more than a little annoyed. Anyone else would be in his situation. To be accused of a crime, then forced to enact said crime, because one was unable to communicate properly or was judged by appearance alone, was absolute bullshit.

It made him wonder why the Terrans of old decreed the need to protect these people.

"Hello, I'm General James Ironwood. Now, I'm a busy man so I'm going to cut straight to the chase," the man, General James Ironwood, said as he took a seat across from Naruto. "You don't exist in any records of any of the four kingdoms or of the files that Menagerie shares with us."

 _I thank the Brothers for that,_ Naruto thought, his narrowed gaze even with Ironwood's. The General set his device down and scooted it forward. He pressed on the screen and a video of Naruto's gift in action played. It was ignored.

"Your Semblance is one of the strongest I've ever seen. Arguably on par with some of the most powerful weapons in the Atlesian Navy," General Ironwood said. "We could do a back and forth like on those television serials, but ultimately you and I both know that this will end with you admitting your guilt."

 _Yeah, I used my Gift. Yeah, I assaulted your law enforcement,_ Naruto thought. His face remained impassive, save for the narrowed glare. _But I didn't start the altercation. Your officer did._

"Glare all you want, you know I'm right. You have no reason to keep silent."

 _I don't think you want to know what death tastes like._

"Listen, son-"

Naruto jerked against his binds, clenched his teeth and his nostrils flared. He was _not_ this man's son. He was hardly this man's kin. The facade of kindness would end and he would get to the point or Naruto _would_ lose his temper.

"This is a very one-sided conversation. Will you at least tell me your name?" General Ironwood asked. It was phrased like a question, but if this man were anything like his father's general, it was an order. Military types, especially those high in rank, were not keen on being ignored, which made sense. Being ignored or disobeyed could risk more lives under a man's command. However, it was not the place of a King to obey his General.

"Can you say anything?" Ironwood asked. The burning fire of anger extinguished. Not only was that a good question, that was the _right_ question.

In response, Naruto glanced to the loop of his Gift.

"...That happens _every_ time you make a sound?" General Ironwood asked, incredulous. The deadpanned stare seemed to get the message across. General Ironwood pursed his lips and folded his hands again. "You can speak. You choose not to. To protect others."

 _Yes. Now repeat after me, one plus one equals two._ Patience was not his strong suit.

"I can help you fix that. Not only am I the General of Atlas' forces, but I'm also the headmaster of Atlas Academy, the school for Huntresses and Huntsmen," Ironwood began his sell.

Naruto tuned him out. He wasn't _interested_ in becoming a Huntsman. He was Terran. He would protect Remnant with or without a license that said he went to some school. It was his duty as Crown Prince to protect Remnant, to honor his father and mother's sacrifice by continuing their legacy.

"Are you listening to me?"

He shook his head. General Ironwood frowned.

"Your other option is imprisonment. We can block your aura and semblance. There won't be any escape or leniency. You _will_ serve your time," he sounded so sure of it. Naruto almost pitied the man for his ignorance. No prison would hold him, because he had the ultimate skeleton key.

 _PRINCE NARUTO!_

The howl shook the room and Naruto looked to the window. General Ironwood furrowed his brows and put a hand to his ear. The blond overheard a man's urgent complaint, gunfire and the barks of a very upset Royal Pet.

"What do you mean 'it's a giant fox'?" The General asked suddenly. The room shook again and a muted explosion got their attention. Their eyes met and the General's hand dropped from his ear to reach into his coat. Naruto inhaled through his nose and his eyes began to glow. General Ironwood leveled a chambered pistol at him. "Don't do this."

With a muted grunt of effort, Naruto began to pull on his restraints. The arms of the chair began to creak and groan in protest as they were forcibly warped. His biceps burned and his triceps tightened as he did. The metal of this world was strong, but Terran steel was stronger.

"This is my last warning! You'll be a wanted man!" Ironwood's thumb pulled down on the hammer of his gun. The click signified its primed state. Naruto looked at the man before he turned his head to look at the window. He whispered one word that ensured his escape.

"Sorry."

The window and the five walls beyond it exploded. The force of the blast knocked both men to the floor, the arms of the chair gave out and snapped. He got to his feet and twisted to the side, avoiding a shot that would've pierced his lung.

"You've just made a grave mistake." Ironwood pulled back on the hammer again. "I won't let anyone threaten my home!"

 _I can respect that,_ Naruto thought. He swung his left arm up and deflected the bullet with the metal that was still attached to his binds. Then he dashed through the holes he made. _Kurama! We're leaving!_

 _Prince Naruto, I'm happy to see you unharmed!_ The thought came with a bellowing bark. A blink of his eyes and Kurama was at his side. He stopped running and turned to look back at Ironwood, who had pursued him, and stopped several feet away. The man's eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

"What in the world…?"

Naruto cracked a small smile and he hoped a bit of humor twinkled in his eye. The man would never know from him how ironic that statement was. He put his hand on Kurama's neck, the fox growling lowly at the armed men and women that began to surround them.

"Surrender and come quietly," Ironwood said, recovering from his stupor.

 _He can't be serious!_ Kurama's growl grew louder, but Naruto kept him from attacking with a reassuring stroke of his fur. The man acted out of duty.

"Tell your ...friend to stop or we'll shoot!"

 _We've overstayed our welcome,_ Naruto thought. He imagined the clearing, seeing the remains of his moon, being surrounded by Remnants' wood. Kurama straightened up, his growl continued, and his horns shone.

The last thing they saw before they warped out of Atlas was the baffled face of a man who thought he understood the rules of the universe.

* * *

 _I need new clothes_ , Naruto thought, tugging at the remains of the black coat he had been wearing. He received a growl for his thought and leveled the slumbering fox with a small glower.

It had been two weeks since the fiasco in Atlas, and they'd been agitated with each other since. Kurama was mad at him for getting into trouble and attracting too much attention to himself. Naruto was mad at the Royal Pet for leaving him alone in that place to begin with. It didn't help that when he inquired, Kurama refused to give a direct answer as to the results of his search for the supposed Terran that called.

 _Kurama._

 _I heard you, my liege._ Kurama growled.

 _What do you want from me?_ Naruto asked, throwing his arms up. _I'm_ _sorry_ _that I got harassed by one asshole and wound up on Atlas' Most Wanted list! Need I remind you that if I hadn't been_ _left_ _there to begin with-!_

 _I was searching for a possible Terran survivor! All you had to do was keep your head down!_ Kurama snarled. He rose to his feet and the two glared at each other, red eyes boring into blue and vice versa. _Need I remind you that not_ _all_ _Terrans were fond of your father's regime? That some wished to have_ _more_ _?_

Naruto grimaced. It was true that not all Terrans supported the crown, but they were not forbidden from speaking their mind or banished. Terrans were a free people, within reason, but their conditions of living was cramped, even for a species whose reproductive chance was a high percentage lower than that of Remnants' races. Some wished to return and take Remnant back, use it to further develop their land and protect the first civilization.

The King and Queen refused, adamant in remaining on their home and watching over their Ancestors' creations. By decree of Luminance and Abscess, those commonly referred to as The Brothers, Man and Faunus were meant to coexist without knowledge of Terrans. The Royal Family has honored this decree for generations, protecting the freedom of Remnants' sentient species from any and all threats that came from both within the Terran people and out in the vast expanse of Space.

 _I can't stay hidden forever, Kurama. I can't survive alone._ Naruto thought. Kurama shifted uncomfortably and the prince felt for his protector. The Royal Pet had lived centuries, said to be the last creation of Luminance and Abscess' student, and had known only the Duty of Terran: Overwatch, but not watch over.

 _It is for that reason we must be secret. Naruto,_ Kurama said looking seriously at the boy. He looked prepared to say something more, likely something profound that would quell Naruto's need to socialize with their charge, but stopped and turned his head to the woods. He crouched onto his haunches and began to growl.

 _Kurama?_

The fox leapt at the blond, a vicious snarl on its face. Naruto dove for the dirt, allowing the massive beast to pass, and twisted to land on his back, finding Kurama standing in front of him, crouched and growling. He grimaced at the sight that greeted him.

Marching through the trees was a horse-like Grimm that had a humanoid growth from its back, a torso with thin arms that dragged across the forest floor and a head that hung limply to the side. The horse-head had a mask over its mouth and the human had curved horns. The Grimm's hooves bore the same armor, but weapons that had long since rusted over protruded from its body. The humanoid head had a wicked smile on its mask that matched the eerily toothy grin on the monster's equine face.

 _Wretched creature! Begone!_ Kurama cursed at it. His tail peeled into nine parts and the tips pointed. The Grimm snorted and stomped its hooves before it went still. Its humanoid body jerked before it lifted and began to stretch out towards Kurama, only to be slapped away by the fox's tails.

The Grimm recoiled and its eyes became slits. It shrieked in outrage, a horrid sound that caused both Terrans to cringe. Its arms reached out again and grabbed Kurama by his sides. The Grimm began to crush the fox's ribs, who yowled in pain.

 _Kurama!_ Naruto thought as he got to his feet. He narrowed his eyes, brought his lips together and let out a sharp, focused whistle. The thin blast that followed was focused, yet only succeeded in destroying a portion of the Grimm's finger. Still, it got Kurama the air he needed to recover. The fox warped out of the Grimm's grasp and returned at Naruto's side.

 _We need to go,_ Kurama huffed. _This Grimm has claimed this land as its own._

 _What? No, we can take it! I can deal with it-!_

 _What part of 'we need to stay hidden' do you not understand?_ Kurama growled. His tails bunched back together and he forced his head under Naruto's arm. _Sometimes, a King is most wise when he decides not to fight._

It left a bitter taste in Naruto's mouth. He glared at the Grimm, its body riddled with weapons and arrows of warriors long since dead. The creature was old, it was eyeing him warily. It was slow and easy to out maneuver. They could easily defeat it, Naruto could destroy it on the spot with a word.

With that word, he would also tear up who knows how much of the woods? How many animals would be killed? How many of those animals lost would compromise the ecosystem? How badly would that affect the nearest village?

It was these questions that made him keep his mouth shut. He didn't have a positive answer to any of them. He was certainly strong enough to destroy this Grimm, this bane, but he wasn't skilled enough.

 _The Humans and Faunus will deal with it,_ Kurama said. Naruto kept a glare leveled on the Grimm. It looked like they'd been trying to for some time now. His hand balled into a white-knuckled fist.

 _Fine, let's go. Before I change my mind._

There was a _wvhiish_ , and then they were gone.

* * *

They relocated to the eastern portion of Sanus, outside of a small village. The villagers had a fair defense system, being so close to Vale, and because of this Grimm were sparse in the area. A week after surveying the village and securing a small location within the forest for themselves, Kurama accompanied Naruto as they entered the settlement with several dead deer to trade with.

The village was well founded, with cobblestoned roads and stone structures. The people were dressed simply, tunics and sashes of cloth drastically different from the clothes seen in Atlas. They earned many an odd stare, mostly due to Kurama's incredible size, but in part to the ruined clothes that Naruto wore. The once sharp black coat was shredded from overuse and strain, and the pants had worn away to the knees.

 _What will you give me for these?_ Naruto asked the first trader he came across, careful to move his mouth in time with his words as Kurama broadcasted his thoughts for him. He waited and frowned when the man just stared at the fox. _Yes, he's big, but compared to soulless creatures that kill for no reason, is that any surprise?_

"Huh, wha? Oh, um, sorry about that, kid. Your uh, your friend caught me off guard," the trader said. He leaned forward and, with another spare glance at the massive fox, looked over the kills. He blinked. "Wow, there's not a single doe. You got all these stags on your own?"

 _Yes_ , Naruto said, nodding. He smiled wryly and glanced at Kurama. _Well, to be fair. I wasn't exactly 'alone'._

"Ha! Yeah, that's a good point," the Trader said with a small smile. He called out a younger man, a Faunus with ram horns curling around the side of his head, and pointed at the six deer. "Grab the stags and take 'em to the back. Marcus will pay good money for the skins, and Hermond will take the meat. What would you like in payment?"

Naruto took lien, several cards of mixed colors. Though he thought the currency strange, it was a significant amount compared to what he started with, which was nothing, and then went to the raiment stand. He exchanged half of his recently procured wealth to redress himself, most of the funds going towards his footwear.

The black boots were good for all terrain and if the abrasive saleswoman were to be believed, the heels could open to store small portions of Dust or ammunition. Not that Naruto needed more of either. He exchanged the rags around his waist with fitted black slacks that would last longer than the dress pants he wore before, a simple grey belt to hold them up and a form-fitted turtleneck that had a symbol resembling a tuning fork framing his chest. Over his shirt, he wore a high-collared reversible coat that was primarily orange with black rings around the cuffs and waistline, which were inverted if worn the other way.

When his shopping was done, he walked out of the village, deep in conversation with Kurama. They were oblivious to the red eyes that watched them leave. One set of eyes belonged to a figure seated in a bar, disinterest along with a healthy dose of inebriation flickered within them. The other belonged to a shadow from the church's bell tower, the gaze calculative and untrusting as it lingered on the blond's back.

* * *

 _Naruto._ Kurama broke the peaceful quiet that overcame them as they walked out of the village after a day of successful trading. They stopped on the beaten road, the fox's form tense. Naruto frowned. It never bode well when Kurama went without his title.

 _Yes, Kurama?_ He asked.

 _We're being followed._ The Fox shifted his feet and Naruto placed a hand on his massive head.

 _Do they bear us ill will?_ He asked. Kurama's enhanced telepathy was accompanied by a strong sense of empathy, to the point that he could sense negative emotions. Likely honed by his centuries as a protector for The Royal Family.

 _Our tail reeks of alcohol and blood._ Kurama growled and turned around to examine their surroundings, and the prince followed suit.

Naruto had been told by Tyson the Trader that he dressed more like a royal from a fairy tale than he did a hunter, and because of this, many times a few fellows down on their luck and bolstered by liquid courage tried to apprehend him to claim the bounty Atlas had put on his head. It was a big one, according to Louis, the Faunus lad that worked with Tyson. Every time one tried, though, he put them straight with a quick fight. Kurama would drop the men off back in the village square and be gone before anyone was the wiser.

However, at the moment, he didn't see anyone. Not a hint of disturbed brush or a flicker of color. Naruto furrowed his brows. There wasn't a sign that they had a tail, at least, not one close enough to be noticed by Kurama.

Caw.

The Terrans looked up at the crow that was perched nearby. It was larger than average and had beady red eyes locked on them.

 _...Well, that's more than a little creepy,_ Naruto thought with a shudder. Crows were omens for good reason.

 _There!_ Kurama growled at it and his tail began to peel into nine. The prince leveled him with an owlish stare.

 _Kurama, uh, hate to break it to you, but... that's a_ _bird_ _. It's allowed to be in the forest_ , Naruto thought. He walked away from his protector's side and approached the bird. It flared its wings and puffed its chest, but didn't move to fly away. That, he noted, was _strange_. Strange enough to warrant caution.

Then there was the stench that became more apparent as he got nearer. Alcohol wasn't as unique as most Remnants would expect, it was _everywhere_ and enough of it left the same smell on those that partook in the drink. His eyes narrowed and the crow's wings spread.

 _Naruto, get back!_ Kurama barked.

 _Shit!_ Naruto threw himself away from the bird when it leapt from its perch. Before his eyes, he watched it shift from Avian to Man. Scruffed, lanky and tall, the man's appearance betrayed his strength, as a large sword was held above his head.

"Hagot'cha!" the man cheered as he buried his blade into the ground.

Naruto slid back to Kurama's side, his arms up and at the ready. Both Terrans had the same thought: _How drunk is this idiot?_

"Aw, y' moo-ved-did," the man said. He pulled his sword out and frowned at the blond. "I was jus' gonna give ya a lil' off the top."

 _He's not as drunk as he looks,_ Naruto thought. He knew that drunk fighters, even well-trained drunk fighters, would be more wobbly, unbalanced or sluggish in their attacks. There weren't many drunks who could plan an ambush like the one this man did. The man knew exactly what he was doing when he attacked.

Blue eyes narrowed.

Terrans are not to be taken lightly, something Atlas' General had learned the hard way.

 _Kurama, stay back._ Naruto's thoughts were an order. The Fox didn't fight him, coming to the same conclusion that he had, and allowed his tails to bunch up. The blond zipped his jacket up further, protecting the one vulnerability he had, and brought up his fists. The man blinked and rested his sword on his shoulders. He snorted and pointed at the blond.

"Are you...Are you challenging me to fisticuffs?" he asked. The Prince's scowl remained in place and he tensed when the man laughed. "Alright, kiddo, I was just trying to have a laugh, but if you want blood, sister, you've got it!"

The man ran forward with his sword above his head. Naruto's eyes shone with white hot fury. He lifted his hand and caught the edge as it was brought down. The top layer of skin broke, leaving a shallow, but bloodless, cut on his palm. Naruto forced the blade down from above his head and pushed it to the side. The man feigned a struggle and the Terran's rage skyrocketed. He met the man's red eyes with narrowed blues, and through that glance, sent a silent condemnation.

 _You brought this on yourself._

He turned his head, facing the flat side of his attacker's blade, and took a small breath. As always, he whispered one word that seemed to fit the situation perfectly.

"Enough."

The blade snapped and shattered. The treeline beyond it flattened. There was an explosion off the edge of the far mountain.

Naruto looked back at the sobered red eyes. He noticed a trail of blood descending from the man's ear. A blink and scowl was all Naruto got before pain erupted in his gut. A firm kick sent him rolling back to Kurama's side.

"What the fuck, kid! I was just trying to gauge your fucking skills, you didn't have to break my sword!" The man pointed at the remains of his weapon, which consisted of little more than the clockwork-like handle.

 _If your sword was so important to you, you should've taken better care of it,_ Naruto thought, Kurama's telepathy broadcasting it. He winced and he got back to his feet, cradling his side. He didn't brace himself properly for the sudden blow and his ribs were now likely bruised from the landing. A night's worth of discomfort, perhaps two.

"Oh, so now you can talk without breaking shit?" The man's eyes burned with a fiery passion. Kurama snarled at him and he pointed his wrecked blade at the Fox. "Back off before I neuter you!"

 _You chose to not take me seriously, sorry that bit you in the ass!_ Naruto sarcastically threw at the man with a scowl. _A sword can be fixed, be grateful I didn't take your hand. Wasn't entirely sure that I wouldn't._

"What the fuck does that mean?" The man asked. Naruto ignored him and put his hand on Kurama's side. The man seemed to be aware of Kurama's ability because he started to run at them. "Hey! _Hey_! We aren't finished here, you little shit!"

They were already gone before he finished his insult.

* * *

"That cheeky little bastard!"

Qrow Branwen was not an easy man to piss off. Oh, irritate and annoy, sure. Just ask his niece, she was really good at it sometimes, but piss off? No. He was the one that pissed people off, not the one that got pissed off.

Only two things actually managed to do that. One would be to threaten his family, which was a death wish waiting to be granted. The other, and the one that he thought he'd outgrown after he graduated from Beacon, was the marring or damaging of his scythe.

Clearly, he hadn't. Though, to be fair, he couldn't recall a time after he'd graduated that he'd needed to fully repair his weapon.

Red eyes glanced down at the bare remains of his weapon. The fury built in him again. Just thinking about what that blonde haired brat did to his scythe made him want to hit something. Repeatedly. And _hard_.

"That is what happens when you refuse to take things seriously."

 _Oh, god, please spare me this bullshit._ Qrow thought with a groan. He turned and glowered at the armored woman that watched him with crossed arms. Pallid skin and eyes as red as his own, the woman was beautiful, but that's as far as his compliments to his sister went.

"What do you want, Raven?" he asked. She arched a brow and her lips pulled back into a smirk.

"I originally came out here to see if the boy was a threat to my family. Same as you, Qrow," she said. "Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to see that look of utter astonishment on your face again."

"Fuck you!" Not one of his best comebacks. Normally he had a sly, scathing stab, something that rounded back to Taiyang or Summer or the girls. Not just vulgarity. That was beneath him.

"Sorry, brother, but I find no joy in incest." Raven lifted the remains of his scythe - when'd she grab that? - and examined it with a critical eye. "You'll have to reconstruct it from the ground up."

"Don't. Remind. Me." Qrow grit out. He snatched his blade back and tucked it beneath his cloak. "Are you still here just to piss me off? Because you're doing a fantastic job."

"As much as I love our little chats, don't flatter yourself," Raven said. "Like I said, I came here to evaluate that boy. Overall, if he weren't such a threat, I'd ask him to join the family. He escaped Atlas' custody and destroyed your scythe."

"He got lucky! ...He got...Aw, fuck my life!" Qrow groaned. Raven scoffed.

"Don't let your semblance blind you, Qrow. He _caught_ your sword in his bare hand and shattered it with a _whisper_. His pet...whatever it is, can teleport. And one of them is telepathic," she said. A swirling circle of red and black rose up in the middle of the path and Raven began to walk towards it. "Try not to let Ozpin's pride go to your head, Qrow. Do tell me how the Fall Maiden is doing next time, won't you?"

"Go raid another village, Raven." Qrow grumbled as he turned on the ball of his foot and stormed away towards the village.

He needed a drink.

* * *

 **AN: Hey guys, had a long week of fun at work. Dry sarcasm there. Anyway, this was inspired by the Marvel's Inhumans trailer. I...look forward to it. A lot more than I thought I would.**

 **More of the good oldies are coming your way! But first, y'all know what I want ya to do:**

 **REVIEW!**


	4. His Demon, Her Angel

**AN: I don't own** _ **RWBY**_ **or** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **A collaboration with E4E.**

 **His Demon, Her Angel**

* * *

In the map of Remnant, when looking at Menagerie, one can clearly see that it was a large mass of land, and at first glance it seemed like a great place to inhabit, that it would be large enough to last generations. These thoughts caused many Faunus to venture to their rewarded lands after The Faunus Revolution concluded. They thrived for a short time, prospering and creating a meaningful community that had potential, until they realized that it would be impossible to expand their residence without greater risk. The land was vast, but mostly desert and filled with Grimm. Due to either pride or mistrust or some mix of the two, the Faunus of Menagerie daren't ask for more help from the Kingdoms of Remnant. Some began to believe that the decision to give Menagerie to the Faunus was by no mistake, that the Humans sought to keep Faunus out of sight and out of mind.

Another conflict nearly started, but the horrors of war were prevented by the rise of the White Fang. The coalition of Faunus sought to reunite their brethren with Humanity, to bridge the massive gap that had been made by years of hostility. Humans, they learned, are a stubborn bunch. Time would have healed the bonds of Man and Faun, but then scandals began to break out. Rumors of encouraged Faunus mistreatment in work forces, hearsay of Humans being jumped by Faunus criminals.

There was no healing and, as unrest began to spread throughout Menagerie, the then leader of the White Fang stepped down to put his people first.

Ghira Belladonna was an intimidating presence, yet still he presented himself in a relaxed and regal manner. His successor was at least the same in that regard, for even though she failed to reach his stature, she was intimidating. An Amazonian Queen, if one were to believe the passed down stories from long, _long_ ago.

Sienna Khan was a beautiful, powerful creature. Her poise was the subject of envy among younger women, and her beauty was a fantasy for many a lad. Her ideals were vastly different from her predecessor. She sought not only security, but also respect. Her method to obtain it?

By _force_.

Through reasonable displays, of course. Displays that would show that Faunus were more than just their animal characteristics. It wasn't like she wanted all out war. Besides, the Faunus of Menagerie numbered too little to wage all out war against their brethren and the Humans that chose to reside within the Kingdoms. Those thoughts were brushed aside before she could even begin to entertain them. They were dangerous and often led to fail in the past. Not to mention, waging war like a mad tyrant ruined any sort of image that matched Sienna's goal. In her mind, a respected society was one that was left alone. She learned over time that people didn't go out of their way to provoke the sleeping tiger.

Well, sane people didn't anyway.

"We need to be doing _more_! Humanity's arrogance must be dealt with!"

The upstart that snarled at her was a _second_ from being knocked around. Sienna stared, unamused, at the youth that bared his proverbial fangs at her. He was a stubborn Bull Faunus and had served loyalty under her in the White Fang for some time now. He was a good field commander, charismatic and smart, and a great combatant. However...

 _Thinking in the long term is_ _ **not**_ _his strong suit,_ Sienna thought. She let the youth vent at her, all the while preparing a calculated response. As worked up as he was, reason would wash over him like a river did to a sunken stone. It was when he suggested blatant _terrorism_ rather than her preferred method of 'extreme retaliation' that any structured sentence she had in mind, any thus far planned retort, vanished from her mind.

" _He_ should be out there! Forcing them to succumb to our demands! You know that he could crush our enemy in one-!"

Before he could even realize what had happened, he was on his knees, doubled over and screamed while he covered his face with both hands. Blood had splattered along the ground and a hush overcame the room.

Golden eyes were narrowed and she flicked the fire and blood off of her claws. She grabbed his coat's collar and lifted him off of the ground with a hand. With the other, she smacked his pretty sword out of his grasp. Her ear twitched when she heard a faint growl, but her attention remained on the boy she held aloft.

"You tread in dangerous- _nay_ , treasonous waters, Adam Taurus. Consider this my _first_ and _last_ warning. That subject is one that will _never_ be broached again. Do you understand?" She hissed. An eye glowered at her from between his blood-soaked fingers. She took that as a yes and tossed the Faunus back to the ground. "Healers!"

Two hooded figures emerged from the side and knelt down to clean the wound. Adam struggled for a moment, but calmed and glowered at her, the wound on his face still fresh and ugly. As it knit shut from the Healers' work, her eyes narrowed.

"Enough. Return to your posts."

"We aren't finish-"

"The scar will _remain_ as a reminder of his foolishness!" She dared them to challenge her. Wisely, the Healers acquisited to her demand and left his side without another word or glance in his direction. She followed suit, dismissing him from her presence. As she returned to her throne, she listened to the hurried footsteps of his subordinates join his side.

"Adam, are you-?" A soft, feminine and familiar voice sounded concerned.

"I'm fine!"

When Sienna seated once more, she was surprised to find him still there, standing in the same spot. Dried blood covered his hands, the top of his jacket and the base of the horns that protruded from his head. His eyes were narrowed at her, angry. No, confused.

"You're hiding him…" There's that clever brain at work. Shame it was still so riddled with anger. "Why!?"

"This conversation is _over_ , Taurus." She would warn him once more, if only for his current company.

"If the Humans knew about his semblance-!"

"One more word, and it _will_ be treason." Sienna was done with this boy. If he continued to persist, what happened next would be out of her hands.

"Adam!" The girl urged and grabbed for his arm. She was a lithe thing, not fully grown, but not a child anymore. Her predecessor had been against the placement in Taurus' squad because of their age, but it was precisely because of that that Sienna had allowed them to remain a team. The girl held more sway over the boy than anyone thought.

That sway, however, was absent now.

"We would be _unstoppable_!"

The follies of youth.

A pressure filled the room. The Guards fell to their knees. Adam and his associate fell to the ground. An eerie wind picked up and curtains shifted.

" _Unstoppable_? And what would you know of being _unstoppable_?"

Sienna turned to appraise the speaker. As it happened many times before, she was prepared for her breath to be taken away. The sad blues that met her gaze broke her heart, but the glimmer of recognition that overcame them a second later her mended the fracture.

He was dressed in the same robes of the White Fang Acolytes that sought to recruit more amongst the members of Menagerie, but the sleeves had long since been removed. From beneath his hood, his face could be seen clearly. Beneath his hood lie hair that was colored like an unbearable sun, and the skin that was exposed had become a rosy tan. His was a figure of an active life, but his eyes were hollow and dead. Whiskered cheeks spread as he bared pearly white sharp canines at the young White Fang officer, who dared look back at the eyes of the approaching man.

"All I see is a world made of cardboard." The hollow eyes looked away and bore into the freshly healed ones of the young Faunus. "And people that are like tiny glass figures. The problem with that? They _snap_ so easily."

"But if you-!"

"Ifs do no one anything good, _boy_." There was something disdainful in the way he said that word. A golden-orange flame flickered in his left palm.

Sienna sighed. She had wanted to let Adam go, but (as mentioned before) what happened next was out of her hands. Instead, she lounged in her throne, propped her head up on the arm, and watched the show.

"Power such as mine isn't something so casually tossed around. Someone like you, so driven by anger, will get yourself or others killed." The flame flickering in his palm bloomed slowly, spreading to encase the entirety of his arm. Adam and his companion, like Sienna had before them, stared at the flame encased arm, aghast, horrified and shocked. Why?

Aside from being on fire, the arm was _skeletal_. The figure lifted it and examined the arm, moving the bony digits without muscle. The fire spread beneath the cloth, and soon the rest of his exposed skin became similar in structure - a hellish flame around a skeleton.

"And by doing so, you spread hate. Say you send me out to invoke your will. Say I do. Our 'enemies' will call for violent retribution and so a cycle will begin. A cycle of fear and hate. Hate and Fear should _never_ mix, because that makes a poison of which there is no cure." The skeletal man growled, his jaw clicking. He leaned down and grabbed the horrified Faunus. "You think you've seen the worst of Humanity? Of Remnant? Arrogant fool, allow me to educate you. Look into my eyes!"

A heartbeat passed.

Adam Taurus screamed. He screamed long and loud. An incoherent sound, a sound of true terror. It echoed through the halls and brought Guards and other White Fang members running. They stopped dead in their tracks once they had barged into her throne room.

"...D...Demon!" A guard shrieked. He drew his weapon before Sienna could speak. Before she could stop him, he opened fire. Many others joined him.

Bullets passed through the flaming figure's form, ripping his cloth. When the bullets stopped, the tension rose.

Adam was dropped like a sack of potatoes, and he slumped to his side. Sienna winced and looked away, covering her mouth as she did. She could handle many unsightly things, but whenever she saw molten eyes still working as Adam's did, her stomach would flip uneasily.

The wraith-like being slowly turned towards the great doors. From his body, the flames expanded out. They spread along the ground began to shape and mold into creatures that Grimm learned to fear. The Skeleton Man brought his bony fists together and pulled them apart, bringing fiery chains into existence.

 _That_ was when Sienna stepped in.

" _Enough_!" Her voice echoed through the great hall with all of her authority. Her roar was mighty and loud.

No one ignored her when she spoke.

 _No one_.

The fiery wraith, the damned figure, vanished. The Faunus returned to flesh in a blink and the fleeting embers vanished with a gesture.

"I'm done here." The Acolyte crossed his arms and turned to her, those blue orbs a bit more broken than before. Her soul wept for him, even if she did not, and she watched him disappear into thin air, like the rising flakes of a burning flame, without a word.

* * *

 _What just happened?!_ The young Blake Belladonna wondered. She had been petrified the moment that...Faunus spoke. Her ears stood end as she lifted the Adam's limp form. She swallowed back a sob when she saw his eyes.

"I did _not_ dismiss you." Sienna's words were growled.

Blake's body stood still as something higher on the food chain spoke down to her. Her ears went back and she ducked her head down after meeting the Leader of the White Fang's gaze for but a moment.

"Belladonna, release him."

"He needs medical-"

"Did I stutter?"

"N-No ma'am."

Sienna stared at her, waiting.

Biting her lip and willing a silent apologizing to him, she lowered Adam back down to the ground. She stepped away with shaking nerves. She was ready to bolt. To leave this place and that-that feeling.

That _evil_.

"Belladonna."

Blake looked up, her amber eyes meeting with Sienna Khan's.

"Not a word of what has happened here is to be said outside of these walls without _my_ explicit permission. Is that understood?"

She nodded, not willing to speak. The White Fang leader sat back in her fath- _her_ throne.

"Good. If you have any questions, ask your father about 'Kushina'. Tell him, and _only_ him, what you saw here today."

Not even her mother.

"Leave."

With a brief glance at Adam as her only hesitation, Blake fled from the room faster than a fox from hounds.

* * *

Adam was carted off and taken to the Healers' den. They would not be able to fix his eyes, and Sienna warned that the scar was still to remain. That was her lesson to him. The eyes were his own fault.

She retreated to her office once she had reassured the guards that she was fine and that everything was under control. As leader of the White Fang, she had several operations, covert and not, that had to be issued. With Adam's little display, she had to find a replacement to take over a job she had planned for him in Vacuo. And she had to make sure word spread about her punishment, without word spreading about _his_ punishment.

"Sorry about the mess."

She didn't bother looking up from her papers. She had known he was there before he spoke. Before he even stepped into her office.

"You love being theatrical, I'll give you that much."

"And you don't?"

Her lip twitched upward, but that was her only response. His warmth came closer, but she remained headfast in her work.

"Sect thirty-two is cleared. We have a month before the Grimm infest it again."

"Any resources?"

"No."

Damn. She had hoped that there would be something. Menagerie needed to expand if it hoped to survive, but so far there had been nothing useful. There was so much land to explore, so hope wasn't lost forever, however, the terrain was unforgiving. Over the past century, only _two_ people managed to venture into Menagerie's ruthless outback and return to civilization.

One was known simply as Kushina, a Faunus born with a Serpent's tongue and a penchant for using chains in combat. She had married a Cheetah Faunus that was able to teleport and used only a dagger. Their union brought forth the second, a son that they had named Naruto. He was a whiskered man, whose animalistic features were mistaken for being feline. He had a semblance that made him perfect for exploring hostile lands or fending off certain arrogant Bull Faunus.

He stood beside her, a distance away, as he always did.

"...I could try some of the other sectors. Maybe trail some elder Grimm. They might have a better idea where resources should be." He offered. The habits of Grimm were a mystery and Sienna was of the mind that it would always be and had always been that way. He was sweet to offer, though.

 _Like my very own angel._

"You just got back," she said. Her brows furrowed as she read an approval for a deal to back some guy named Junior in case someone tried to muscle in on his turf in Vale. "You should rest."

"Is that an order, or a request?"

She set her pen down before looking up at him. His sad blues looked just a bit brighter. Perhaps even playful. Her lips curled into a smile.

"A request. But if you insist on ignoring it, I'll make it an order."

"Oh, really?"

He leaned halfway across her desk, a ghost of a smile spread across his face. She met his gaze and saw a spark. That spark ignited something that had been building for _months_. She rose from her throne, slowly, and leaned forward until they were a breath apart.

"Yes, really."

A growl rippled from her throat and echoed throughout the room. He began to back away when she climbed onto her desk, hitting a switch as she did. The doors locked shut behind him and the windows became barred.

"Sienna…"

His smile had fallen away, but the desire was still there. She could smell it. She knew he could smell her, too. He was her angel and she would prove it to him. No matter what he thought of himself, he was her angel.

"Naruto."

She was a woman that got what she wanted. Whether by word or action.

Right now, she was a woman all about action.

Like the tigers she resembled, Sienna pounced on her prey.

* * *

Years passed. Disturbing reports were being sent back by Belladonna. Taurus had been getting excessively violent, and worse yet, he's been getting sloppy. The White Fang were all over the news, and a not-so-subtle war was being waged in Vale. The Train Job to punish the Schnee Dust Company had gone wrong.

The abrupt resignation of Ghira's daughter didn't help matters with more radical opinionated members of the White Fang. Nor did it help quell the rage that resided within the violent Bull Faunus. He'd gone dark months ago, and was only making matters worse by ignoring the summons.

Sienna was about done with Taurus' immature behavior. Her restraint was impressive. Naruto had been done with Taurus' bullshit since they had met face to face.

"I don't want you to go," she told him the night before he left.

"But you need me to," he said. She nodded into his side and he tightened his arms around her.

"I know how you feel about crowds."

He shifted minutely and tightened his hold.

"I'll just have to suck it up. Maybe I'll check in with Junior."

Sienna's ears twitched and she snuggled in further.

"Alright, but at least bring a partner with you. I don't want you out there alone. Despite how well you can take care of yourself."

"...You just don't want his bouncers hanging off of me again." Not that he would let them. Those Vale girls are a bit off. Same with the Mistral and Vacuo ones. Don't get him started on the ones from Atlas.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." His heart warmed and a smile threatened to spread across his face again. It vanished with her next words: "Take your student with you. What's his name again? Dough?"

"Ko, and he's not _my_ student. He's Master Fooshi's disciple."

"The Albains say otherwise."

He groaned and tore away from her. He rubbed his brow.

"Those two don't know what they're talking about. That brat is my _self-proclaimed_ student. I'm a solo-act."

"I don't see why you're so against it. He's a rather smart one, even compared to my niece."

"He's more trouble than he's worth. Who do you think caused that impromptu fireworks display three weeks ago?"

She folded her arms and leveled him with a flat stare.

"Weren't _you_ planning on using those to entertain yourself?"

"No." Yes.

She laughed, a soft and warm sound, at the petulant pout he knew that was on his face. It resonated in him that he was one to draw it out. Call it greed, call it love, call it next thursday, but whatever it was, he cherished it.

She was his warmth. His light. She was the one who would rescue him from himself. He would do anything for her, all she had to do was ask. He'd repair the moon for her if she wanted it full again. He'd shatter the sun if it shone in her eyes.

Most males would be willing to be her knight, but he would do more.

He would be her monster.

"Be safe."

"You, too."

* * *

Yang Xiao Long told the investigators that she would _always_ remember the bike first.

It rolled in with the sound of thunder, purring louder than her beloved Bumblebee ever could. The chopper had a canine's skull in place of a headlight, the empty sockets were filled with the same fire that covered the front and back wheels. The front forks were styled like chain links that ended in pikes. The frame was a dark, chromatic steel. The bike was _metal_.

(Ruby would later interrupt the recounting of the tale with, "Of course it was, it's a motorcycle!" But she was ignorant to of the world's true beauty.)

Then, when asked, she would recount the rider. He was ...horrifying. Dressed in robes was a living, flaming skeleton, and she was not degrading homosexual flamboyance. The skeleton was on fire.

Death on Wheels had no truer meaning then that thing.

Blake on the other hand looked about ready to faint from a panic attack. Or run away screaming. Probably some odd combination of the two.

Especially after it pointed to her and spoke with a deep and gravelly voice: "You... _Guilty_."

The third thing Yang would recall were the _eyes_. Instead of empty black sockets as one would expect, when it looked at her teammate there was an emissive green light that filled the holes. The glow shadowed the upper portion of the hooded skeleton's face.

When the composite artist showed the finished project to the headmasters of Beacon and Atlas, he was rewarded with the most memorable faces that no one had ever seen.

General Ironwood was purple, he was so infuriated. His just revealed machine was stolen by the most wanted man on Remnant and decimated a mile of the overpass that crossed Vale. Then it was defeated by _six_ undergraduate students. Teenagers destroyed hundreds of thousands of Lien and then, as if that weren't embarrassing enough, it had been whisked away by a supernatural entity.

Professor Ozpin, in contrast, was very quiet. Almost somber with a tired look in his eyes and a frown on his face. He dismissed the officers and told them that he would handle the situation and pay for the damages done on public property. Then, the Headmaster of Beacon had instructed all of the students involved not to talk about the Skeleton on Wheels. He looked at Blake especially, who had not made a sound since the Dead Man's verdict was pointed at her.

It had been five hours since that meeting. With each hour that passed, the tension that washed through Beacon increased tenfold. By the fourth hour, students had to be confined to their dorms to ensure no more fights broke out. Thirty minutes afterwards, Ozpin led his trusted confidant Professor Glynda Goodwitch and fellow headmaster General Ironwood down to the depths of Beacon Tower.

"Ozpin, what are we doing here?" Ironwood asked. Glynda desired an answer to the question, Ozpin could tell even without looking.

"James, you need to trust me."

"I do, but the White Fang somehow stole two of my new machines. How am I supposed to react?"

"Wisely."

"That's only _extremely_ vague."

"Not if you give a moment to think about it," Glynda said.

The silver-haired headmaster sighed. Glynda and Ironwood just needed to get a room already and hash out the complications that arose from their drunken night together twenty years ago. He was sick of their tiptoeing and the passive aggressive rebuttals.

A thrum and Ozpin stilled.

 _Oh, dear._

"Glynda? I need you to do something for me."

"What is it?"

"Please restrain the General."

"...What?"

Ozpin sighed and turned around, putting his back to the door that would lead them to Amber's chamber.

"We are about to encounter the host to a force I have not seen in this realm for one _thousand_ years. However, this encounter will likely cause James to react...poorly."

"You speak as if I have no self-restraint."

"...Three gunships. _Three_."

Ironwood's mouth shut with a click. Ozpin looked at Glynda and she nodded. Pleased, he rounded in his place and opened the door.

"Don't enter until I tell you too. James, do try to keep calm."

With that, the headmaster walked into the room, leaving two members of his inner circle to stare in stunned silence at what lay within. Along with the injured Maiden, stood a figure they saw a sketch of earlier that evening. Only this one was not on fire, nor was it a skeleton.

It was a White Fang Acolyte.

Glynda immediately restrained the Atlas Headmaster with her telekinesis.

"You're just letting her flutter about, Wizard." The Whiskered Acolyte's his hand stroked the glass. "Her pain is as clear as day."

"As always, so sensitive to the realm of the dead." Ozpin sighed as he walked up to the Faunus. "How have you been, Asura?"

"In this life, I'm known as Naruto."

"Maelstrom?"

"Fishcake, actually. Shut up, I like it. Less ...foreboding."

For a moment, Ozpin appreciated the lighthearted banter. Then he remembered what the presence meant. And their surroundings.

Apparently, Asur- _Naruto_ did, too. His eyes hardened once again and the light intensified.

"You need to let her move on. This isn't living. It's agony. Why haven't you let her pass on yet?" His voice grew more and more heated as his nails dug into the glass. The girl within hardly responded.

"Because if we do, I fear the power will go to one who is undeserving of it."

"And who's to blame for that?" Glowing green eyes narrowed at the man beside him.

The chamber grew a touch warmer.

"Professor?" Glynda's concern echoed and Ozpin held his hand up.

The Wizard stared The Demon down.

"I have never denied my role in the horrors that She leaves in her wake," he said. "But neither have I hidden myself away from her. If she wished for a fight, she can have it."

"No, you just insist on playing her game. How many have to die until you corner her?"

"Not all of us can smash the board."

"Perhaps, but you can always flip the table." The Demon looked back at the submerged girl. "Pick another Host for Fall. Someone, anyone, but let this one pass on."

"We have a strong prospect, but we want to be sure-"

"You have three weeks." Ozpin furrowed his brows, but didn't argue. He watched The Demon grow pensive and tightened his hand on his cane. "What of the Silver Eyed one? She would fit well. It's her duty to begin with. How you've yet awaken her is a disservice to her kind."

"I'm honoring her mother's sacrifice."

"That you forced her into. As typical, the man behind the curtain."

Ozpin's knuckles were whitening. He would _not_ be baited.

"It took you some time, but you've grown thicker skin with age. Refreshing."

"You _judged_ one of my students."

"I did."

"Why?"

"If she had decided to fight rather than take flight, perhaps this splinter cell of the White Fang wouldn't be running rampant."

"Now hold on!" Ironwood interjected.

Had they pupils, Ozpin was sure that The Demon's green eyes would have rolled.

"Such loud company you keep. And considering my host's companion, that is saying something."

"Sound semblance?"

"Vocal explosion in a female."

 _Those poor ears._ Ozpin thought sympathetically when The Demon shuddered.

"Don't you ignore me! What do you mean splinter cell? Who are you? Ozpin!"

"You don't talk about me?"

"Given the circumstances, are you surprised?"

"Not in the slightest. Oh, I'm hurt, I'm very much hurt. But surprised? No, I'm not surprised. You only show enough cards to peak interest. Only we old souls know so much about the true nature of our world."

"Indeed. Do you promise not to incinerate him?"

" _I_ won't."

Ozpin didn't like the gleam in his The Demon's eyes, but had no other choice. With a resigned sigh, he nodded at Glynda and she released Ironwood. He straightened his jacket, then walked over to the Wizard and the Demon. He stood at Ozpin's side and sized the latter up.

"Your guns won't do you much favor, _halfling_."

"You promised not to incinerate him. That includes doing so in self-defense, so please stop provoking him" Ozpin smiled. The Demon's whiskered cheeks curved down into a petulant pout.

"Spoilsport." He turned to regard the General. "Alright, Tin Man, you may speak."

"I _may_ speak? Ozpin, who-!"

"James. Please listen to the walking, talking weapon of mass destruction."

He threw in a pointed glower just to get the message across to the headstrong man: _Don't push your luck_.

"That's a bit lacking for a description, Wizard. I preferred the Ender of Days, Bringer of Woes, and the Endless Dawn. So on and so forth."

"He knows-?"

"James, in the years I have known you, haven't you ever once thought about the _chance_ of there being more than two in my exclusive club?"

"...Wait, you can't be saying-!"

"I am."

"Then he's-"

"He is."

"He was-"

"Yes."

"...I need a drink."

"Children these days assume too much." The Demon stage whispered ever so innocently. He eyed the blonde that approached and stood on Ozpin's other side. "Wow, for real?"

"What?"

"Just-Oz, I mean, there's moving on and then there's...well, _this_." The Demon gestured at Glynda. She looked at him like he grew a second head.

"What?" she asked again, but was ignored.

"I have no idea what you could ever mean." Ozpin coughed into his fist as he averted his gaze.

"So, _you_ don't see the resemblance between her and Perci?"

"Just what are you implying!?"

"I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you outright: You have a student fetish."

"Perci? Student? I..." Glynda was bemused.

"You didn't tell them the name of the original Spring Maiden? Why am I not surprised?" The Demon snorted and crossed his arms. He gave the woman a once over. "Though she didn't frown as much, nor look so stern. Very free spirited and quite light on her feet. Or so I'm told."

"Enough." Ozpin said sternly.

"Fine. Let us move on. I have people to judge."

The Wizard raised a brow.

" _Things_ to _do_." The Demon corrected cheekily.

Ozpin huffed.

"Very well. James, have you recomposed yourself?"

"Yes." The General folded his hands behind his back and stood at attention. "I would like to know why there is a White Fang Acolyte terrorizing Beacon's students?"

 _Brothers, why do you hate me?_ Ozpin paled.

The Demon's eyes flashed and flames danced along his arms.

"You _promised_ not to incinerate him!"

"If I had terrorized anyone, I had only terrorized a _single_ student. If the young Belladonna had garnered the strength to curtail that foolish Taurus boy's bloodlust, even if she had bothered to simply knock him out and return him to Menagerie, then I wouldn't have to clean up this mess. He's the little fool who runs the splinter cell. In the eyes of the White Fang, _his_ operations are unjustified."

Before anyone could speak, The Demon combusted and grabbed Ironwood by the throat.

"But you don't care about that! No, I see what it is that you yearn for! General, commander, conflict war worshipper! You want your enemy to cease these games of hiding! To face your militant might on the battlefield! Good! Relish that, crave it! All who ally with _The_ _Bitch_ must fall! By _any_ means!"

" _Demon_!" Ozpin snapped, the sharp sound of his cane cracking against the ground echoed through the chamber.

The Demon hissed at him, but released the General and reverted to his more humane appearance.

"...Apologies. It has been a while since I could... _vent_. And with so much...desire around me…"

The Demon shuddered, not out of bliss, but frustration. After a moment, he met Ironwood's gaze again.

"You wish to know why an Acolyte is here? Because he is my host. He is not your ally, I am. I am the blazing sword that will purge and cleanse the Black Witch along with her pets." His eyes shone with manic glee. "Even if I must destroy nations to do so. Anything else you wish to know?"

"Why are you here?" Glynda asked.

He thumbed towards the sleeping Maiden.

"She calls to me. Yearned for my touch. To be released of this plane."

Glynda and Ironwood's eyes narrowed.

"You will not touch her."

The Demon chuckled.

"You say that like you can stop me. Not even your _Wise_ Wizard has enough power to halt me for more than a single fight. He's running on fumes. Spread himself so thin it's no wonder that he's become a puppeteer."

"And you? How many Hosts have you had? No more than a single digit." Ozpin scathingly noted.

"I come when I am needed. Asura's own brother had been recruited. We got lucky then, Wizard."

Ozpin begrudgingly conceded to that with a grunt.

"What do you mean?" Glynda asked.

"Have you no knowledge of history, girl?" The Demon scoffed.

"Much was lost after the Great War."

"Great War!" The Demon laughed. "You call _that_ a Great War!? That was a childish scuffle at the most!"

"Were it not for the Vytal Pact-!"

"Were it not for my promise, I would have purged you already for your ignorance." The Demon snarled. He glared at the telekinetic. "When you see mountains crumble, continents split and the sky itself fall around you, _then_ you can speak of a Great War."

Glynda and Ironwood looked at Ozpin, and he averted his gaze, unwilling to admit that he omitted such stories from them.

"How can we face that?" Ironwood asked. A harsh shove made him stumble back.

"Fight! You fight and you fight until nothing of her remains!" The Demon spat. He grinned. "Rejoice! For this is what you want, General! This is what you will face should The Witch rise off her broken throne."

"I think this meeting is coming to a close." Ozpin said, noting how part of The Demon's green eye turned blue.

"What? Throwing me out so soon?"

"No, but I think your host is waking up."

The Demon's grin faltered. He began to pat at his face and scowled.

"Tch. And just when it was getting fun. Very well, treat him right, Wizard. Do let him know that I'm sick of his bitching and try to keep him in the fold. And I mean _in_ the fold."

The Demon grinned again, this time at the two members of Ozpin's faction.

"Remember this children, Death always wins in the end." The Demon met The Wizard's eye. " _Always_."

Ozpin bowed his head in farewell. The green glow that had emitted from the Acolyte's eyes died, and two blue eyes blinked. Unfocused, the blond Faunus began to look around and stumbled. He braced himself against Amber's pod, arms trembling as he tried to regain his bearings.

"Easy, easy." Ozpin helped the young man steady himself. "You're safe here."

"Did...did I hurt anyone?" He asked. His voice was shaky and his eyes were wide with fear.

Ozpin's smile was nothing if not assuring.

"No young man, you were perfectly behaved."

"Good. That's...good."

Naruto's eyes rolled into his head and he fainted on the spot.

 _I do not envy your burden, young man, but I thank you for carrying it._ Ozpin thought as he and Ironwood carried the young man upstairs to the headmaster office at the top of Beacon Tower. _Unfortunately, I think I may be the only one that ever does._

* * *

Naruto decided that it had all went to shit as soon as Ozpin explained everything. The discovery of his ...tenant. That Magic and Gods existed. That the Maidens and Fairy Tales were real. The Vytal Festival was the linchpin.

War had come for Vale, and it would come out on top.

A Grimm Dragon had invaded and claimed Beacon Tower as its nest, only to be frozen by a now comatose Ruby Rose. The power of the Fall Maiden was split between the 'Invincible Girl' Pyrrha Nikos and a young woman named Cinder Fall. The White Fang Splinter Cell would hack and commandeer Atlas' machines.

None of that would become known to him until later, because he tracked down and found Taurus. In a dorm. Facing off against Blake Belladonna and her (apparently unstable) teammate, Yang Xiao Long.

" _Taurus_!" His snarl gained the attention of the room. Taurus froze and subconsciously reached for his mask. Blake paled and backed away. Yang brought her fists up, ready for a tussle.

The fires that surrounded the broken dorms shifted and shaped. Howls filled the night as his hounds emerged from the flames of war and repelled the enemies: Grimm and machine alike.

"The children of the night...they're singing you your last lullaby." His body was engulfed in fire and he strode over the rubble, melting it and the floor with each step. "It is time for you to be put down."

"No." Adam brandished his weapon. "This is my _duty_! _Your_ duty! I'm doing this for us!"

"Duty? You don't know the meaning of the word. All you do is spew hate and split us further."

Each step taken towards him, did the young Faunus' body flinch as if a nightmare came to life.

And for Adam Taurus, one had.

"You better think twice about aiming that sword."

Adam swallowed and glanced down at the blade.

"If you lift that sword up any higher," Naruto said. His face was engulfed, leaving a skull in place, and the gravelly voice continued, this one not as deep as the one heard nights before. "Then all bets are off."

The White Fang extremist looked to Blake, then Yang, then Naruto, then his sword, and back to Naruto. His shoulders tensed and his jaw clenched. He lifted the sword up and the skeleton brought its bony fists together.

"I won't _show_ you visions this time," Naruto said. He pulled his fists apart and manifested a chain of fire. It lengthened and danced in the air. "No, you will _live_ those visions for the rest of your life. All five seconds of it."

"For you, Beloved."

Weird. Totally threw off the flow, but whatever. It was time to let The Demon out.

The fight was one sided. Surprisingly, neither of them threw the first punch. Yang Xiao Long got a sucker punch in and cracked off one of Adam's horns.

Her follow up, however...was dicy. Naruto had to burn the wound to ensure she didn't bleed out. Her scream would haunt his dreams.

Adam was then buffeted by furious chains and chaotic fires. He had him, he had him in his grasp. Right where he could make sure would _hurt_. Then, just as it would end, Adam shifted gears and slipped out of the hold with agility that was unheard of from the Bull Faunus. He cut a hole in the wall and leapt out, landing on a retreating bullhead and disappearing before Naruto could stop him.

He couldn't believe it.

It happened so fast.

"Dammit…"

He balled his hands into fists and the wraith reverted to life.

"Taurus…" The Acolyte seethed where he stood, staring out over the night. Behind him, Blake was treating her friend's impromptu amputation that Naruto had scalded. Ignoring the younger girl's unease, he continued making his oath by piercing his hand with the horn that was snapped off earlier. "By this blood, I swear that you will feel all the pain you caused this night. Each needless death. Every drop of blood. Each heart wrenching pain of loss. Be it friend, loved one, and whatever else."

The trip back to Menagerie was one made in seething silence.

 _You'd better hope I kill you, Taurus. Because if you harm anyone else, I will make sure that you don't die until I say so._

It was a promise.

* * *

Weeks passed. Normalcy was slow to return after word reached Menagerie.

The White Fang cells scattered around the world grew antsy. Sienna was furious that Taurus escaped and labeled him a traitor to Faunus everywhere.

The order was met with mixed opinion.

The Great Tiger cared not though. Her word was the word of the White Fang, and they were the ones that fought back.

"You're certain you won't join us?" The man that stood before her was a representative of a powerful woman. Sienna didn't like the thought of it, of the face her angel made when everything was explained to her.

"I know of who you serve, Hazel Rainhart. I know what she can do. Leave, now, while you still have your life."

"It saddens me to hear this." The man, Hazel, sighed. "I can't say it wasn't surprising. However, may I impart upon you a gift? You may change your mind."

"I told you to leave." The hall rumbled from the growl from Sienna's throat. "You test my patience."

"It's a gift, from my Lady."

The human opened his mouth again, but a hand clapped over it. Another tugged the man's arm behind him until it crunched and dislocated. A chain of fire burst forth from the man's chest, the wound cauterized before blood could be spilt.

"You sully our ears with the repeated talk of The Witch. The moment your wench of a leader sent you here was the moment your fate was sealed. She sent her pawn to me, into _my_ domain, knowing you would die."

Sienna shivered and swallowed her bile as The Fallen ripped his chain out of the human's chest and let the corpse fall to the floor. As far as she was concerned, The Fallen wasn't her angel, it just used his face. The sooner The Witch was dealt with, the sooner her angel would be left in peace, or so The Fallen claimed, anyway.

"Clean that up."

"Ordering us around?" The Fallen asked, looking at her with that unsettling grin on her angel's face.

"You? Yes. Him? No."

"Fine." The Fallen snapped his fingers and the corpse was reduced to ashes. He smiled again. "Happy?"

"Leave."

"Fine. He's done being cooped up inside anyway."

He stumbled for a moment, blinked and then met her gaze with blue eyes.

"What-?"

"He dealt with the messenger. And prepared our declining gift," Sienna said. They glanced at the bloodied and skinned Adam Taurus that was hung from the rafters. He was smuggled into Menagerie by Hazel, in hopes to assassinate Sienna and stage a coup. When her angel learned of it, he willingly allowed The Fallen to take over.

The things that... _being_ could do to a person were numerous. Taurus' screams would haunt her for years, she was sure, but it was worth it. She smiled at him as he approached her.

Once at her side, he embraced her in a tight hug. No words were exchanged between them, before his hand rested on her stomach. She let hers fall over his and knew that when The Wizard called for help, she would stand and fight.

The Great Tiger would fight for the world.

As long as her Angel was by her side.


	5. Barghest

**Disclaimer: I own the rights to nothing. ...Except, you know, the fact that I don't own the rights.  
**

 **Barghest**

* * *

The question of why always leads back to the beginning.

The heart-wrenching, overwhelming pain of loss tore at the very souls of those who were there. In the past, war ran rampant across the world. It was a cycle, an endless cycle that tore families apart. Nothing could stop it.

Then came The First.

He wasn't Human nor Faunus. Some speculate that he wasn't even of Remnant, and they would be correct. Further still, some believed him to be an amalgamation of The Brothers, of their attempt to walk on their world and see it for themselves. Those were the crackpot fanatics, though, so most don't put much salt into it.

He directed people away from fighting for survival, and showed them better way to live. Once he did so, he slipped the Relics delivered by The Brothers out of their kingdoms, and gave three of them to his chosen Disciples, while he kept the fourth himself to protect. The Disciples were made of two Men and a Faunus, and with time, they would be known as The Wizard, The Jester, and The Knight respectively. The The Disciples did, hiding them away, as Humanity and Faunus began to establish new settlements.

The First knew that war wouldn't stay away long, conflict was in the people's nature now. Knowledge of the Brothers' Relics would be reduced to stories, but greed would claim those spirited enough to find them. So he remained on Remnant in hopes to quiet these stories. And quiet them he did.

As time passed, he found solace, sanctuary and significance in a woman. That woman would give birth to a daughter with hair as white as snow, fairer skin than ever seen before and eyes as blue as the sky. The First raised her with love and gentleness. He taught her all that he could, and his students became akin to her siblings. They prepared her to take her father's place while time tore away at his shell. After he passed, The Disciples swore allegiance to her, and she became their Queen.

All was well in Remnant for many years, with only Grimm as a hostility, until The Jester faltered. He had fallen in love with his teacher's daughter, and allowed her to wrap him around her fingers. On the eve when he declared this love for her, he told her where to find The First's treasure.

It was a clever spot, as expected of The First, one that no one would expect. The Queen appraised her father's cleverness, as he had the treasure buried with her mother. However, if she were to simply leave it, then would not a less worthy explorer or greed filled tomb raider take it? Would it not be safer in her hands, since she was alive and her mother not?

Thoughts such as these are justifications made by weaker persons. Regardless, The Queen descended down to her family crypt and desecrated her mother's grave in effort to find it. Remains were scattered along the tomb floor when the Disciples found her. The treasure was not there, and in her madness, she made a fatal accusation. She rounded on The Jester, demanding the treasure he stole. The Wizard and The Knight were appalled, and The Jester horrified.

The Jester explained that his story was not fact, but a fable to act as a symbol of his love. Infuriated, confused and embarrassed, The Queen demanded the Relics be returned to her, all of them. She was The Queen, was she not? In her deluded mind, they were hers by right of birth.

The Wizard tried to talk sense into her. She would not hear it.

The Jester tried to appeal to her heart. She would not see it.

The Knight tried to intimidate her person. She would not have it.

That day, The Queen cast them from her home, and in doing so, declared them her enemies and traitors.

The Wizard, heartbroken, retreated to a small shack away from life. Hidden from the world to protect his treasure.

The Knight, heartbroken, left overseas to start anew. He hid in plain sight, his secrets with him in his duty.

The Jester, heartbroken, threw himself at her feet. He pleaded with her, begged her not to send him away. He implored that she let him stay, that he loved her.

The Queen, in a show of mercy, allowed it. She let The Jester stay and played with his heart. Used him until it was clear that she held no ill will against him. Then, on their wedding night, she asked him where the treasure really was.

He told her, honest and true, and in turn, she killed him.

The Wizard and The Knight would be informed of this treachery, this horror bestowed upon their friend, and they returned in force, to reclaim what was taken. The Queen was empowered by the Jester's relic, and it took all of the two Disciples' power to stop her. The Knight was drained to nothingness while The Wizard, in his last act of defiance, marked The Queen. The ashes of his comrades' bodies melded to her skin and their blood filled her eyes. She would never escape her crime, and the Wizard would never escape her wrath.

Her next attempt at the Relics came in a time of war. The land that Remnants' people lived upon was burning. Grimm were hounding villages normally left alone, Faunus were falling from their place beside Humanity, and Humanity was becoming greedy. The Wizard and his students, the Maidens, sought to end the violence, but lacked the tenacity their opponent faced.

Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall slipped away one eve to turn the tide of war. Using the gifts bestowed upon them by The Wizard, they reached out and sought assistance from The Brothers. Hoping that they would be sent aid in this trying time.

The Brothers heard their cry, but disputed proper action. Dark believed that this was a mess of Mortals and that they held no part in it, but Light disputed that they were in part to blame. Logic and reason argued against emotion and instinct, before they came to an agreement.

They delivered a champion to the Maidens, a bargest that was born from the souls of The Dead Knight and The Heartbroken Jester. A beast that would hunt until its pray lay dead at its masters' feet.

The Barghest.

With the hound came a dowsing to the fires of war. The Barghest tore through the enemy's lines and ripped the Queen from her throne. The battle was brutal, but quick, and the Barghest had its target 'neath it's paw. Before the final blow could be dealt, The Wizard called it away.

The Barghest, infuriated, demanded an explanation.

The Wizard said that the Queen deserved a chance to be better. To learn from the mistake.

The Bargest snarled.

"I saw those red eyes! I saw that ashen skin! That is no Queen, Wizard! That is a Witch! And I will not rest until she lay dead at our feet!"

"Then begone, Demon! For I will not let you harm her this day! May you return if ever you are needed, you wretched creature!"

A spell was cast, banishing the hellhound, and unknowingly, insult was delivered upon The Brothers. They saw what had happened to their champion, their hound of war, and grew infuriated. Upon return to his shack, The Wizard learned of his mistake. The world stopped spinning and his soul was torn apart and reshaped.

"Wizard!" The Brothers shouted. "You will not rest until your payment is fulfilled! Peace will not be found until you see that our hunter makes his quarry, or you do the deed yourself!"

So began The Wizard's curse. He lived for centuries already, but millennia was a new sort of hell. Tied to him was the life of The Witch, and with her survival The Demon would be set loose once her plans came to full swing. Only once she lay dead, would The Disciples be set to be at peace, but due to their history, The Wizard could not find it in himself to go finish her nor would he allow The Demon to.

* * *

"That, young Ozymandias, is why you have the soul of an old man within you and why I am stuck within this meat suit," The Demon said as he whittled away at a piece of wood with his host's switchblade. His host, Asura, let out an awed gasp and ethereal green eyes barely resisted the urge to roll. The brunet man's body was sturdy and strong, but the mind that resides within held little to offer other than the occasional amusing quip.

"I see. Thank you, Hunter." The young Prince of Vale smiled at the man. His eyes became just the slightest bit narrowed and his posture shifted. "Yes, thank you Demon. Now _leave_."

"Impertinent!" The Demon teased. He dropped down from the window he sat upon and landed on the Valian Prince's bed. He crouched over the latest incarnation of The Wizard and held the blade to his throat. "I could kill you here and now if I so wished, Wizard. So weak and feeble that you are."

"Even _you_ wouldn't kill a boy." The Wizard growled.

"Maybe, maybe not. Who's to say?" The blade was retracted and slipped back into a pocket. The Demon hopped up to the window and looked back at the resting child with a grin. "Best get ready, _Oz_. The Witch comes closer and my host's brother with her."

With his piece said, The Demon leapt from the window and descended down. He was engulfed in flames shortly afterwards and landed on the awaiting steed. The horse went up in flames once he touched the saddle. Black smoke wafted off of its form and The Demon's glowing eyes dimmed.

"That was ... _enlightening_." Asura chuckled to himself, his joke referring to the fiery form their unification brought forth. The Demon groaned.

His next host had better not have a taste for bad puns or The Demon might actually try to kill itself.

* * *

It had only a few days since they had sent their answer to The Witch. The silence had caused tension to rise within the ranks. More deserted, agreeing with Taurus and began turning his dive into madness into a martyr's plight.

Sienna Khan was caught off-guard during her inspection just three days after, the day that all Hell broke loose.

One of the trainees practicing in the training grounds suddenly rounded and lunged at her. She caught his palm in her hand and twisted it to get a brutal snap. A jab of fingers into the crux of his neck and collarbone shut him down before the trainee could act further. Around her, trainees had began to splinter into brutal fights against one another. She spotted her niece, Jolee, fending off a rat-tailed girl, and noticed that several had cornered the head teacher, Fooshi.

 _What is going on?_

"For the White Fang!"

Another student rushed at her, but was blindsided from the left. A round mass of white and black slammed into the attacker belly-first with a war cry.

" _Skadoosh_!"

The student careened into a wall, where she was imbedded in the stone. A tall, rotund boy with black hair and bear ears atop his head smirked. He jerked his arms and settled into a martial arts stance in front of her.

"Fear me, for I am _fluffy_!"

"Thank you, Ko." She smiled at the teen. He turned bashful and stammered, unused to compliments from someone he saw as a personal hero. It was cute, but now was not the time to tease the trainees. She turned towards the crowd of fighters and her eyes narrowed. Dissent was the last thing they needed right now.

It was time to remind them who she was.

" _ENOUGH_!"

The order echoed throughout Menagerie. White Fang members in conflict with their fellows froze instinctively. Fights within private homes ceased and would-be dissenters began to tremble. Years of loyalty could be cast aside, but instinct could not.

Nature decreed that Sienna Khan _is_ the Leader of the White Fang. Her word _is_ law. Her orders _are_ obeyed. In essence, she was The Alpha. She was _not_ to be ignored.

 _Ever_.

Her roar allowed for the loyalists to regain their senses. They recovered faster than the traitors and detained them. Jolee knocked her opponent out with a brutal roundhouse. Fooshi used only a finger to finish off the three that had attempted to overwhelm him. Ko leapt up and dropped down on her rising assailant, bottom first square onto the young Faunus' back.

Sienna waited until she was sure the fighting had stopped in front of her. She pointed at Fooshi, who stood beside his opponents that were bound with their own tails.

"Put them in The Pen. Then gather everyone in the town square. If they want to follow Taurus' example, then we shall let them."

They held the display in front of most, if not all, of the Faunus in Menagerie. The Belladonna family and their guest, a Monkey Faunus from Vacuo, stood at her right while her Angel remained her left. Ghira disapproved of what was to come, but understood its necessity and let her speak to the people.

"When I stepped into the role as High Leader, we faced strife and prejudice across the world. We were confined like some sort of beast. My goal was to force respect into those that tried to put down the Faunus. When Faunus were mistreated, we would fight back. For years, this method worked, and rights denied to the Faunus were restored. Our acts were always those of retaliation and retribution, _never_ blatant terrorism and anarchy such as the events at Beacon!"

The gathered Faunus murmured at her words. She glanced at the Belladonna family while her words soaked into the crowd.

Ghira had a scowl on his face at her words. They had never really agreed on anything before, so she wasn't too surprised. His wife, Kali, was pensive, but showed no approval or disapproval. The Monkey Faunus had his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. The daughter, Blake, was quiet, and kept her gaze averted to the crowd.

She turned to the captured assassins, the Albain brothers. Once trusted allies, daresay even once among her closest friends, but now? She felt no joy for what was to come. She felt no pity for them. This was a betrayal that could not ever be forgiven. Still, she had to keep this professional.

"Have you anything to say in your defense?"

"You _failed_ the White Fang, Sienna Khan!" Fennic sneered. He was even smaller on his knees, and she would have to crouch in order to meet his eye level. "You promised us equality! You promised a better life for Faunus! Look around! We're still confined! We're still hated and spat on!"

"Taurus brought forth a chance at better lives for all of us. You brought us nothing but wasted time and your _respect_ is flawed. Other Faunus distrust us and Humans still despise us." Corsac's eyes were narrowed and flicked around, as if seeking out assistance. It would be concerning if he wasn't just as helpless as his brother. "It would be best to start anew. No more prejudice. No more hate."

The Faunus murmured again, but louder. They debated whether the Albain had some sense. An alarming amount seemed to agree with the logic.

Sienna's rage was nearing its limit. What they were suggesting was _genocide_. She had wanted to show that Faunus were more than just animals, and that mistreated creatures often bit the hand that smacked them. There would be no equality if Humanity was eradicated, true, but who were they to decide the fate of an entire species? That was exactly the sort of thing that she had dedicated her life to fight against.

"Adam Taurus was a _traitor_! He sold his soul, and the souls of his subordinates, to a _human_ bent on world domination! Did you think we would be left alone if we followed a tyrant?! That we could not find our equality among the fallen's ashes in the fires of war?!"

The Albains said nothing as the watching Faunus quieted. The look in their eyes said it all.

Disgusted, she turned away. She looked at her Angel, who met her gaze with his own. The sad blues had darkened. He stepped forward and was engulfed in flames. The gathered Faunus gasped and a few screamed. His skeletal hands grabbed the brothers' hoods and tore them off, effectively excommunicating them.

"You think we're afraid of you!? You're just a rabid _dog_ on a leash!" Fennic spat. He jerked and shifted in an attempt to get free. The wraith that held him kept a firm grasp on his neck.

"You brought this on yourself." Naruto's gravelly voice was akin to a snarl.

Her ears twitched when she caught Corsac's rebuttal.

"Funny. I was about to say the same thing."

Sienna Khan was once more caught off-guard that day. In hindsight, she should've noticed it sooner. Corsac hadn't been seeking out help, but had been looking for the assassin. Fennic wasn't trying to break free, he was pulling the wraith into position.

A crack rang out in the day, followed by an ungodly howl of pain.

"Sniper! Get down!"

Sienna was pulled to the ground beside Kali, their forms covered by Ghira's mass. Corsac and Fennic fled into the crowd, their broken restraints left in their place. In the distance, an explosion shook the White Fang's base.

Her eyes remained on her Angel, who had dropped to his knees. A hole, larger than both of her fists put together, had pierced through his torso, where his heart would be. The rib cage was scattered along the ground. The skeletal figure slumped over onto his hands and fire spread out along the stage. His creatures, his Hounds, formed from the destructive element and set out to find the one that dealt the blow to him.

"Naruto! _NARUTO_!" Her roar carried her anguish and worry. She was pulled off of the stage by Ghira and Kali, struggling against them. As the last clear plank of wood caught fire, she lost sight of his form. That was the last straw, and she broke from the Belladonna's grasp for a brief moment before being bearhugged from behind. She flailed and kicked the air as she was lifted from the ground. "Release me, Ghira! I have to save him! Let me go!"

"Sienna, that is _Hellfire_! It will _eat_ your soul alive!" Ghira hissed as he tried to keep her held back.

She continued to struggle in Ghira's grasp. She faintly heard Kali calling for Blake, but didn't listen for a lack of care. She _needed_ her Angel. He had to be safe. If he wasn't- He _had_ to be safe.

"Sons of _Bitches!_ "

The fires on the stage became an unnatural bright green and rose up to kiss the sky. When the fires dimmed, they revealed The Fallen, standing on the stage, his head ducked down and his inflamed form the same green as his glowing eyes. A skeletal fist lifted, and a bony index finger pointed at the sky.

"All right, you Bastards! Listen up! You want me to clean up your mess?! Fine! You want me to take out the Witch?! With fucking _pleasure_!" Then he pointed out at the crowd as green fire encircled the gathered Faunus. "But nobody, and I fucking mean _nobody_ , walks away from this until I put the _motherfucker_ that shot me into the fucking _dirt_!"

Silence fell upon Menagerie as they looked upon the visage of death and carnage.

"What the fuck are you all staring at?! Didn't you hear me?!" The Fallen snarled. He stomped his foot and weapons from the nightmares of Grimm sprouted out of the dirt. The Faunus gasped and few dared to approach the weapons. The Fallen crossed his arms and stared out over them. "Menagerie, let loose the dogs of war!"

"...Can he do that?" The Monkey Faunus that had accompanied the Belladonna family whispered to Blake.

"He just did…" the girl said to the youth.

Sienna would inquire about his name later. Right now all she cared about was that her Angel lived, and she had never before been more grateful for The Fallen's presence within him.

"He has my support," she said, folding her arms.

"I doubt anyone can stop him." Ghira sighed heavily. Though there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

 _Just imagine, the White Fang save Mistral. Maybe this is a new charge after all._ Sienna thought as she watched the flames flicker around her people, who approached the weapons offered to them with slightly hesitance. They were done with being afraid.

* * *

 _I miss my robes._

With the attacks and the new militia filled with hundreds of Faunus that weren't used to combat on a regular basis, Sienna had ordered a new regulation for the Loyalists that would accompany them. The Splintered, as some referred to the dissenters and traitors, would continue to wear the White Fang's motif of black and white clothes with Grimm-like Masks. The Acolytes were forced to remove their monk-like attire, the hoods and masks all tossed aside while combat gear remained.

He now sported boots that had animal-like claws on them and a navy long-sleeved shirt that had the White Fang's old insignia on it. Over that, he wore a dark crimson leather jacket that had black fire-like hemming along edges and sported Sienna's symbol on the back. When asked, she had said it was a mark of her claim upon him.

The Demon, who appreciated the new look, told him that it "always thought leather was nice". Naruto thought it was a bit much. Chafing and confining, not as roomy and comfortable as his robes were. Which was why he refused the leather pants offered to him, and stuck with his dark slacks.

"Are you all set?"

He turned to see Ghira staring at him up and down.

"You look more respectable now. Like a Huntsman."

"Perhaps."

"Perhaps?"

"...I _liked_ my robes."

The larger man chuckled.

"Yes, but you are no longer simply an acolyte. You are a symbol now."

"Of fear. Of death."

"Of hope."

He gave the Panther Faunus a flat glower.

"If I'm a symbol of hope, then things are worse than they seem. I'm not a hero."

"Maybe." Ghira shrugged. "Or maybe you're exactly the type of hero we need. An ignition spark to something greater."

He had always been something of a romantic. Sienna thought he was too optimistic. Naruto was starting to understand what she'd meant.

"I knew your mother, you know."

"That doesn't surprise me." _Because you're old._

"She would be proud of you."

He shrugged off the claim.

"I hardly knew her so I'll take your word for it."

Thoughts of his mother always made him uneasy. The last clear memory he had of her was of chains piercing her stomach. It's why he used his fires to that effect. Not to mention, bringing them out forced people to make the silliest of 'oh-I-just-soiled-my-pants' faces.

 _I think Taurus' is still the best._

The memory brought forth a chuckle.

"Something funny?"

"Nothing important."

"We should prepare to land. Do you think Sienna is upset that she couldn't come?"

Naruto tilted his head. He thought back to the day they disembarked. The last words she shouted at him from the docks filled him with a twisted sense of warmth.

" _If you die over there! I will find your body, resurrect you and kill you again myself! Do you understand me, Naruto?"_

"I think Kali should be able to keep her occupied enough."

Ghira's large frame rumbled as he laughed.

"Yes! Congratulations are in order, correct?"

"Save them for after the battle, Chief." The Chieftain opened his mouth to protest and he rolled his eyes. "If we survive, I'll let you buy me a drink."

"Of course." Ghira smiled. "So, who did you plan to send to inform the Mistral Headmaster that we're here to help?"

"Send? I'm the one going out there."

He couldn't trust anyone to make contact with the Headmaster other than himself. If he was lucky, Ozpin would already be there. If not...Well, The Demon would have some fun anyway.

"Oh? And how do you plan to get there? Wasn't your motorcycle destroyed in the Splintered's escape?"

"I'll hitch a ride."

Ghira scrutinized him with another stare before shrugging. He turned around to leave the blond Faunus alone on the deck before stopping. Naruto withheld a groan. He wanted to be alone right now.

"Something else you want to ask?"

"Blake informed me of your meeting in Vale."

 _Oh, terrific._

"Did she?" He tried to sound uninterested.

"If you _ever_ go near my daughter with those chains again. I _will_ kill you."

The threat hung in the air and Ghira returned to the ship's cabin.

He let out a withheld breath and slumped against the railing.

 _Holy, shit. Is that what death feels like?_

* * *

"What the-Hey!"

Yang teetered and fell backwards as her motorcycle, Bumblebee, shot off like a dart into the woods of Mistral. Qrow, Ruby and Nora started to laugh uproariously, earning them the ire of the startled brawler. Weiss, Pyrrha and Jaune tried to contain their snickers. Ren smiled and shook his head while Oscar Pine chuckled at the blonde's misfortune. The farmhand's amusement came to a close when Ozpin spoke to him.

 _Tell Qrow that the enemy is here!_

"What?" Oscar frowned. His soul-mate, he really needed to come up with a new way to refer to Ozpin, was only there to help; to prepare him for the coming battle against Salem's Faction and to help him assimilate into the role of The Wizard. Normally, he would listen, but that was quite the abrupt demand. Especially after what just happened.

"Something up?"

Oscar looked at Qrow. The man had his flask out and a lightness in his eyes. Behind them, the sisters and Nora quarrelled playfully while the others watched. He looked back in the direction that the bike had shot off towards.

"He, uh, he said that the enemy was here."

"Figures. Anything else?"

 _We're probably walking right into a trap._

"No. At least, nothing new."

* * *

They stood on the edge of the docks, waiting for the rest to disembark. The bike that drew closer was not as loud as his last ride. It was far more friendly, though, and for a brief second she hoped that another familiar face or two would be riding it. She was disappointed.

"...That is a _yellow_ bike." Sun whispered beside her.

"Yes. Yes it is." Blake nodded.

"We _know_ that yellow bike."

Blake glared at him.

"No, you're right. I'm sure a _lot_ of people have a thing for yellow sportbikes that are customized to go that fast."

Her eyes narrowed. The Monkey Faunus held his hands up in surrender. They both watched The Demon step forward. His right hand shot out and snagged the handle of Bumblebee. With an alarming amount of strength and an impressive amount of acrobatics, he lifted the motorcycle from the ground, spun it back towards the way it came, jumped and mounted it in one fluid movement.

Bumblebee's colors shifted as soon as it touched down on the ground. It became black, the front guard lifted and shifted to emulate a metallic skull with burning eye sockets, and the wheels blazed into balls of fire. The Demon exploded onto the scene in a flash of light, and rode off with a wheelie, leaving behind a trail of fire.

"Just-How in the world did he even _do_ that?" Sun asked, throwing his hands up. "I could handle the burning skull thing, but come on! How does that make sense!? … I never thought that I'd say this, but I need a vacation from this vacation."

He slumped his shoulders and hung his head as they watched the grotestic bike disappear into the wood. She gave him a halfhearted pat on the arm, her gaze locked on the retreating taillight.

"I hope nothing happened." Her mind thought back to her team.

The last time she had seen Yang was after The Demon had cauterized her amputated arm. That led her to thinking about Adam and she remembered his fate. A shudder washed over her, recalling the day that the White Fang paraded his corpse through Menagerie.

While she may have hated what he had become, no one deserved that sort of desecration.

"Blake! Sun! Let's go!" Her father called to them from one of the transports. Ilia waved to them from the back.

"Well, guess we should hit it." Sun shrugged before he jogged for the cab. "I call shotgun!"

"Get in the back, Wukong!"

"Please let them be safe." She whispered as she followed at a leisurely pace.

* * *

The ride was fast, as always. The Hounds were barking behind him, running with his flames. There was a scent, an odor, that drove The Demon into a frenzy.

 _She's here! She's_ _here_ _!_

"I _smell_ it." Naruto growled.

 _Good, good! Rip her into shreds! Tear her apart! Smite her unholy being! Give her a hug!_

"I'm going to ignore that last one."

The ride came to a close outside of Mistral Academy. The doors were barred. His skin felt like it was boiling away from the raw rage coming from the Demon. Embers puttered from each breath he took as he tightened his grip around the handles so hard that they nearly warped under his bony grip.

 _Get in there! Get_ in _there!_

"Shut up and let me _drive_!"

He revved the engine and leaned back, pulling the motorcycle up as he sped towards the entryway. The inflamed front wheel busted through the grandiose doors, knocking both in for the bike to pass through without issue. Whatever fights were happening stopped as the newcomer for his ride drop.

"Knock knock. Anyone home?"

 _I will chide you for your shitty joke later! Find her!_ _NOW_ _!_

Flames licked around him, already the wooden door was engulfed in flames. He looked around, scanning the room. If he still had lips, they would be pulled back in a snarl.

"I don't see _her_... Where is _she_? Where is The Witch?"

"What's that you say?" A hysteric voice hissed. "Are you lost, friend?"

"Tyrion, now isn't-!"

"Quiet, Cinder!" The man snapped at the false Maiden. "I want to know who he's looking for! Maybe he'll be more fun to play with..."

Naruto sized the man, no - his eyes narrowed - _Faunus_ , up. He belonged to the Scorpion genus, based on the tail that hung near his back. The blades on his arms weren't too dangerous. The ranged weaponry was a laugh.

"The Witch." Naruto growled. His eyes flashed green and a few that reeked of her stench flinched. "Salem."

" _Witch_!?" Tyrion kicked away the hammer-bearing girl and knocked aside the green-clad young man with a stripe of pink in his hair. He stormed forward. "You dare call The Goddess a _Witch_? I'll kill you, you-you-you...Heretic!"

 _Let me out! Let me out right the fuck now! Let me kill this worthless piece of shit!_

So he did.

He let The Demon out, let it take over their wraith-like form, sat back and watched the show. It dismounted the bike and pulled out a set of gloves from their back pocket. Pulling the studded items on, the studs turned into steel spikes and the jacket he wore burned to a crispy black.

"Goddess? Ha! She is more of a demon than I." The Demon brought his fists together and pulled them apart. A chain of fire formed in his grasp and he saw the girl in a red dress flinch. "If I cannot rip her throat out, I'll have to settle for purging her pathetic pawns. Like I did with that Hazel fool."

"Hazel...was an insect!" Tyrion shrieked and launched himself. The chain swatted him from the air. The Demon strode into the room and his fire spread along the floor, keeping the two factions separated.

"I'll be taking over from here on out. No one moves until I say so!" The Demon snarled. He whipped around until he saw the young boy wielding a familiar cane. Naruto withheld a sad sigh, before being shocked by his tenant's words: "It looks like The Wizard has already reincarnated. Good, Oz! With both of us here, none of them shall escape! Each of you will be purged from this world until her stench never reaches my nose again!"

He looked towards the young boy that stood across from the Lion Faunus. (Within his confines on the sidelines, Naruto bit back a snarl as he recognized the man. Lionheart was a symbol of hope to the Faunus, and he would remember the betrayal to Salem when the time came.)

"Glorious is it not, old friend? We can cripple the Witch here and now. Her false Maiden pet and her pitiful pawns. Could it not be grander?!"

"Th...That's _him_ , isn't it?" Lionheart began to shake in his boots. "The-The Demon?"

"Yes. You've already lost, Leo." The boy presented a great front, but he lacked the posture and poise that made The Wizard so impressive.

Ignoring the byplay of banter, emissive green eyes then turned towards the false Maiden. She seized up and looked panicked under his gaze. Beside her stood a frightened tanned girl and beyond that was an unnerved beauty of pale skin and raven hair. Neither he nor The Demon recognized them.

"Fall Maiden." Pyrrha Nikos and Cinder Fall straightened up as they listened to him. "Slay the imposter and take your powers to its full potential. That is your one and only goal this day."

Both nodded, and he created a barrier of hellish green fire around them for their battle.

"D-Don't you turn your back on me!" Tyrion snarled and leapt at The Demon once he got back to his feet.

He forwent the chains, willing them away. Instead, he snatched the creature out of the air with one hand and slammed him back-first into the ground. He pulled back and lifted his boot.

"Insignificant arachnids should do well to avoid being stepped on!"

Tyrion rolled out of the way of the descending foot and flipped back to his feet, just as the Demon broke the floor with his stomp.

"You...You…" The Scorpion let out an incoherent yell before he lifted his arms and fired countless bullets at him.

 _Please don't get us killed._

"Shut up, boy! I'm _working_!"

The Demon was nimbler than his appearance let on and he closed the distance between himself and his opponent without so much as a scratch. Another fiery chain was brought into existence and, at the right second, The Demon threw one end of it out to wrap around Tyrion's side. Then the next went out the window and snagged onto an awaiting Hound that was patrolling the building. The chain tightened and tethered into place just as Tyrion ran out of ammunition.

The Scorpion Faunus looked up in horror.

"This is the part where you say bye-bye." The Demon whispered. He stood upright and waved a farewell to the pallid Faunus. "Bye-bye!"

Tyrion was bisected by the chain, and he died almost instantly. As if to add insult to the injury, The Demon jumped into the air and stomped down heels first onto the arachnid Faunus' skull. The force of the impact and the power behind it splattered the deceased Faunus' head beneath his boots.

"Ant, meet boot."

 _Didn't you just say something to me about bad jokes?_

"Quiet, boy." His soul haunting gaze whirled around to meet the others of the Witch's ilk. His ever present grin seemed to widen and he held his arms out wide. "So...Who else wants a hug?"

 _You are terrible._

* * *

Oscar doubled over with a dry heave.

 _Are you alright, Oscar?_

"I just watched a man get cut in two then his head got mashed in like my aunt's potatoes. No, I'm not alright." The young boy grit out. His stomach felt like it was doing somersaults.

 _Yes, The Demon is extreme and quite cruel with his methods. Alas, he is one of our strongest allies._

"This guy is an _ally_?!"

"What?!" Yang, Ruby, Nora, Jaune, Weiss and Ren all shouted in shock.

 _Oscar, may I take control? It would be easier that way to explain._

"Fine, whatever. Sorry for the puke mouth." A quick switch and Ozpin was wiping the off Oscar's mouth with the back of his hand.

"It's fine. Unfortunately, this is not my first time with this taste." He chuckled. He looked towards his students. "Yes, The Demon is much like myself, but far more powerful. And right now, we need all the power we can get."

"About that, Oz. Shouldn't we do something?" Qrow threw a thumb towards the wall of fire that isolated Pyrrha and Cinder.

"No. The Demon is correct. This is Miss Nikos' battle. All we can do now is pray for her victory."

"...Yeah, that's cool and all, but who is this guy? And-Is that my _bike_!?"

Everyone looked at the black bike with blazing wheels. The headlights flared and the engine revved when they looked at it. Almost as if it were trying to impress them.

Or more specifically, Yang.

 _Okay, I draw the line at evil-looking, sentient motorcycles. Give me the footnotes when this is all over._

"I never will understand his fascination with various methods of transportation. Or how he came to know how to operate and utilize motorcycles. They hadn't been around the last time he was here…" Ozpin pursed his lips. "Then again, it is more tolerable than a blazing steed galloping into battle."

"...A day in your shoes just wouldn't be enough, would it Oz?"

"Quite."

* * *

 **AN: Here's a continuation of the last chapter. School is crazy and life is hectic, so updates will be sporadic.**


	6. Karma

**Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **RWBY**_ **or** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Karma**

* * *

In a building just inside the walls of Vale, a young man sat at a desk with his arms crossed. He was clad in dark, ruffled and torn clothes, save for the oddly pristine rustic orange shirt that bore a white skull on the chest with black dunes decorating it. His blond hair was filled with grime and small smudges of dirt had smeared on his face, due mostly in part to the lack of cleaning water used in the place that the Refugees and Homeless called 'The Den'. Three thin lines marred either of his cheeks and his blue eyes, once light enough to resemble the clear ocean on a sunny day, were as dark as stormy waters. He listened, as others in the room his age did, while a man lectured them on the Creatures of Grimm.

"Many, many years ago, the Creatures of Grimm were created by Yung'r, The God of Darkness. They were made to destroy all that Wold'r, The God of Light, had made. The Grimm originally attacked all creations of Wold'r unabashedly, but once Humanity was born, the Grimm were forced to adapt. For Humanity was not a simple creation, it was a product of the Brothers unity. The Grimm would not destroy each other, for they came from the same origin, and parts of Humanity shared that origin."

He was an older fellow, not old enough to have white hairs, but old enough to introduce himself as Old Mac and not be picked on for it. Old Mac dressed in a way that would make him appear as a member of the working class, but his mannerisms and speech showed that he came from the higher on the food chain. The boy's knee began to bounce as he withheld the urge to yawn. Mac also prattled on like an old fart.

"Because of the complexity of Humanity's nature, a new method of hunting became apparent in Grimm. They sought emotions, the darkest and most negative, that which reminded them of their creator. Fear and Hatred, emotions brought forth from one another, became the two most associated with Grimm attacks. Grimm would swarm settlements filled with fear, with hate. With Darkness."

 _Blah, blah, blah. Another creation story made out to demonize anything that resembles the Grimm. Can we get to the part where you hand out the food already?_ The boy thought, drumming his fingers. He scowled when Old Mac continued to drone on.

"Humans were not left defenseless. They were given innate gifts called Semblances that were powered by their souls' energy, which was dubbed Aura. The discovery of the mineral known as Dust, which could imbue weaponry with various elemental properties, made Humanity even more capable against Grimm."

By now, most of the gathered youths were starting to lose interest. They were promised food if they came to this location on the given date, and then were tasked with listening to Mac's spiel. The blond in question had started to grind his teeth, hunger turning into agitation. His hand curled into a fist, and an organic, dark rust-colored residue began to encase the limb, coming from beneath the sleeve.

"Then-"

"Oi! Are you going to give us food sometime today or should we just go!?"

Old Mac stared, surprised at being interrupted. Then, he paled upon looking at the speaker and took a step back. To him, it looked like the blond boy in the back was being absorbed by a Grimm-like creature. Or an undocumented species capable of mimicry had slipped into the walls of the kingdom. Either thought was rather terrifying, and both had him open his mouth to shout for help. Before he could, the rust-colored organism flicked its wrist, sending a small chunk of brick colored gunk to cover his mouth.

"You already talk too much." A second speaker that was not present in the room distorted the blond's voice.

He stood up and walked forward, the rest of his body becoming encased in the substance. He became taller and slightly more muscular. As black runes began to appear over the rust orange body, a white vulpine skull fashioned in the center of the chest, and a white mask formed over his face, similar to, but unlike the mask of a Grimm, for it wasn't segmented to allow movement. The eyeholes revealed red irises with slit pupils, and were rimmed with dark red circles. Three red lines akin to the marks on the boy's cheeks appeared on either side of the mask, but they were thicker and far more feral in nature.

Old Mac backed up into the wall and struggled to remove the constraint around his face. He recoiled from the monstrosity that towered over him, muffled sobs leaving his body. Hopefully the other children got away. He would be remembered for his sacrifice that way-

"Oh, for the love of - Just tell us where the fucking food is, Mac, it's all we came here for!"

Old Mac opened his eyes to see the creature standing over him with crossed arms. The white mask had peeled away, revealing the boy within with a scowl on his face. His eyes, however, remained red. He drummed his clawed fingers on his arm and arched a golden brow.

"Done shitting yourself?"

Old Mac nodded.

"Food." The figure bent forward to reveal that the boy's face had curled into a snarl, red eyes practically glowing. "Where?"

Old Mac pointed frantically at the door. The blond went to it and threw the already busted door open, unintentionally ripping it off of its hinges and flinging it across the room. On the other side were more people, young and old, Human and Faunus, dressed casually and wearing colorful shirts with the slogan for the _OneRemnant4All_ movement that had overcome the city. The blond's eye twitched as the volunteers readied themselves to scream. Tendrils emerged from his body and wrapped around the volunteers' mouths. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, before he glowered at the group of people.

"You know, it would be really helpful if you people didn't waste our time, and just brought the fucking food in already. We are starving."

With that, the organic suit withdrew from his form, the bit around Mac's mouth disappeared, and the blond was once again another homeless teen dressed in rags. He went back to his seat, getting a few nods and snickers from his fellow refugees. Seated once more, he glanced across the way at a girl with the large poofy tail of a squirrel coming from her backside. She was struggling not to smile, because he knew she didn't approve of his behavior. The little rodent on her shoulder faced him, it chattered and shook its fist.

"We didn't ask for your opinion, Tiptoe." The boy grumbled. He crossed his arms on the desk and rested his head on it. A rust-colored tendril appeared from his shoulder and caught the acorn that was thrown at his head. Blue eyes cracked open and glared at the chattering squirrel. "Careful, _rodent_ , or we'll save these people the trouble of feeding us and just eat _you_ instead."

"Be nice, Naruto." The squirrel-tailed girl said, finally interjecting in the dispute between the boy and squirrel.

"He started it, Dag!"

"I don't care. I'm finishing it," Dag said. Tiptoe let out a few chatters before he turned around and flicked his tail up, revealing his backside to the blond.

"You little-!" Naruto made to rise up and make good on his promise when Dag sent him a look. He scowled and dropped back down in his seat, grumbling about 'rodents.'

The girl then turned her brown eyes to the squirrel in question and flicked its ear.

"Don't antagonize him, or he _will_ eat you." Tiptoe sent her a hurt pout and she stroked his head. The squirrel chattered and she smiled. "I know you're not scared of him. You're very brave, Tip."

"Brave, stupid, yeah they sound about the same."

Dag rolled her eyes at Naruto's interjection and the following flurry of insulting squeaks that came from her fuzzy friend. She looked up and smiled when a plate of warm food was set in front of her. The boy was cute, if a bit odd with his forked tongue flicking out. A second plate was set down next to her, before the volunteer scurried back to the front, becoming victim to many dark looks from the other refugees as he did.

Dag handed the second plate over to the blond, who had near-masterfully masked the look of understanding sorrow with one of indifference and took the meal with a soft mutter of "Thanks" before curling in on himself. She watched him for a moment, as he too lowly for her enhanced senses to catch while he picked at the meal, and wondered if he knew what he meant to the rest of them. The boy tried too hard to act like he didn't care about others, but he was their unspoken protector. He watched out for them, so in turn, they would watch out for him.

 _Splat!_

A healthy amount of beans and gruel dripped down the side of Naruto's head. Tiptoe held a spoon covered in residue of the meal proudly at his side. Dag clapped her hands over her mouth to hide her smile. Others began to snicker while the volunteers scrambled for the door, as the blond's blue eyes burned with unbridled fury.

"Argh! That _tears_ it! Dag, your pet is going to be our appetizer!"

"N-no, Naruto! T-Tiptoe was just trying to cheer you up!"

"He can cheer us up once he's digesting in our _stomach_!"

* * *

 _That could've been more filling._ Naruto thought as he climbed up the side of the overpass' support column.

The meal the volunteers made was decent, if a bit small. Gourmet by the standards of homeless, for sure, but his 'semblance' required a different food source. The biomass that protected his body wasn't a soulful construct. His actual semblance was unknown to him, considering he hadn't yet unlocked his aura.

" _Agreed._ " A deeper, more guttural voice echoed in the back of his mind. " _And we missed out on that delectable rodent._ _Again_ _._ "

 _We weren't_ _really_ _going to eat Tiptoe._ The accusatory tone caused Naruto to roll his eyes. _Dag wouldn't forgive us if we killed her best friend._

" _Whatever. Get out there and find more food for us, Naruto. A few Beowolves or Ursa will suffice for tonight._ "

 _You always get so demanding when we're hungry, Kurama._

The voice, Kurama, was the soul of the suit that encased him whilst he was aggravated. Kurama labeled himself as an Anomaly. He didn't know much about his origins, where he'd come from or how he became attuned to the blond, only that he had an affinity towards foxes and had an acquired taste for Grimm. Yes, Kurama would 'consume', for lack of a better word, the biomass of Grimm before they could dissolve. For the past five years, Naruto had been living off of that diet and found it suitable, as long as a bowl of Ramen somehow found its way in the mix every now and then. Alas, tonight would not be a ramen night, but a night to hunt.

" _Less talking more-_ _move_ _!_ "

Naruto looked up and saw a car coming over the side of the overpass, falling towards him. His eyes went wide and he threw himself from the column he was ascending to a nearby building. Kurama's protective shell sprouted over his form as his fingers touched the glass windows, causing him to stick to the wall like a spider. He looked down at the sound of screams, likely the people in the falling sedan.

Naruto pointed his right hand down towards the descending car and his forearm extended, allowing him to snatch the vehicle mid air. He slid down a bit, the sudden pull of weight nearly cost him his grip on the window, but he managed to gently lower it to the ground. Once the people were safe, he swiveled his gaze back up to the overpass.

"Well, whoever just threw a car at us volunteered to be our bait." Naruto growled. He leapt off of the wall, soaring through the air while the window he had been sticking to shattered beneath his feet. He landed on the edge of the overpass with a heavy thud. Cars were strewn about to his left and to his right, a speeding motorcycle was pursuing a...Robot? Big red eyes blinked. "...Okay, that's new."

Shrugging off the strange occurrence, he threw his arms forward, his hands shifting again into tendrils that latched onto whatever they could. The Rustic Anomaly took several steps back, pulling the tendrils, taught, before half-jumping off of the ground and slingshot himself at the jogging machine.

The blond soared past the yellow and blue haired motorcyclist. It could've been two people on one bike, he didn't really have time to take in the scenery. There was a giant robot begging to become scrap metal he was fast approaching.

Naruto made impact feet first, knocking the machine forward and making it tumble over the side of the overpass to the ground. As they fell, he dug his claws into the mech's back and began to rip and tear into the tubes and gears that allowed it to function. The mech landed feet first on the ground, but a good yank of a rather important looking cable and it fell to its knees.

"Hey! What the-? Get off of me!" A broadcasted voice demanded. One of the hands reached over to grab for him, but Naruto caught the finger and tendrils expanded from his forearm, wrapping around it. He braced himself on the back and began to pull, intent on ripping the robot's extremity and limb from the socket.

"Gotta hand it to you, you're not making this easy on us," Naruto said, his gritted teeth hidden by his Grimm-like mask. He pulled harder as more tendrils snaked into the arm, ripping out the machine's insides.

"Get off of me, you cretin!" A hiss and the sound of a latch giving way was all the warning Naruto had before the mech whipped its arm forward and slammed the Anomaly into the ground. The force of the impact jarred the rune-covered organism, causing him to lose his grip. The mech's pilot peered down at him, confused. "What the hell are you supposed to be? Some kind of wannabe superhero?"

"No. We're _absolutely_ _livid_." Naruto snarled, before he felt his view on the world shift as Kurama morphed the structure of his limbs, torso and head so that he was on his front rather than his back. A nifty trick, being able to rearrange the molecular structure of the blond. It allowed him to move more fluidly. Unnaturally. Someone amongst the refugees once commented that he was extremely flexible because of it. The face Dag had made after hearing it was hilarious.

" _Now isn't the time to think about that squirrel girl, Naruto. Get our bait out of that metal shell!_ " Kurama snarled.

 _So bossy._ Naruto huffed and leapt at the cockpit. Clawed fingers scratched the glass, but didn't break it. He snarled and glared at the orange-haired man within, who had yelped and recoiled from the controls at his attack, but recollected himself when he realized that the Anomaly couldn't break in.

"Aww, what's wrong freak? Upset you can't get your dinner?"

"Oh, we'll get our dinner. First, we have to crack the shell," Naruto pulled his right hand back and it shifted into a massive mallet. The mallet dropped down and created a large crack in the protective glass. He grinned behind his mask while the orange-haired man's confidence shattered. "Then we get to the nut inside!"

"No! No! Get off! Argh, come on, where are the wipers on this thing!?"

Naruto brought down another blow from his makeshift mallet. He lifted it up for the last strike that would break the glass and reveal his target to the elements, but a loud gunshot echoed in the night and a sharp pain became apparent in his back. Stunned by the attack, Naruto lost control of himself, and Kurama intervened.

* * *

Only the occupant of the robot, one Roman Torchwick, saw the change that occurred by this shift in control. The solid white mask that was on the creature's face split where a human's mouth would be, revealing a maw full of fangs that were anything but white. Yellow, sharp, jagged these teeth were, all meant for the consumption of flesh. A shriek pierced the air as the creature leapt from the mech, now facing its attacker.

Roman blinked. The silver-eyed girl with the big gun stared him down, eyes watching the creature that stood between them. She had just saved his life. Probably unintentionally doing so. A smile spread across the thief's face. "Of course it was _you_! Oh, Red...You have no idea how glad I am-"

The Rust-Black mallet that will forever haunt his nightmares flew back and shattered the Paladin's cockpit. It slammed into his face, breaking cartilage like it was a toothpick. Roman was no stranger to pain, he didn't utilize a semblance or aura, it wasn't his style, but if one were to ask that really fucking hurt!

He communicated this to the rest of Vale with a pained scream. Then a gunk was wrapped around his mouth, putting pressure on his broken nose and cutting off his vocal chords.

"Quiet maggot. We'll get back to you in a second," said the deep voice of his assailant. The tenor, the normal voice that accompanied it, was gone. The creature had its full attention on Red, who appeared stunned. "Girl. Think _very_ carefully about your response to our question: Why did you shoot us?"

"I-I thought you were a Grimm!" Red stammered. Roman had to side with her on this, begrudgingly. The thing looked very Grimm-like. However, he had seen intelligent Grimm before, and none of them ever engaged with him in banter. Nor were any of them orange, a shame that.

"Are we covered in black fur!? Is there a speck of yellow in our eyes!?"

"I-I just, you were-!"

"Because of you, we have a ...God, what is this!? A fucking missile!?" The creature convulsed before it tossed something at the road, which clattered along the blacktop to a stop just an arm's reach from the red-hooded girl. Roman stared, wide eyed and, were he able to move his mouth, was gobsmacked at the fully intact .50 caliber round that glinted under the streetlight.

"How did-?"

"No! You don't _get_ to ask any questions! We have a fucking bullet wound to deal with because of you!" The creature snapped, pointing a finger at her accusingly. It hissed and recoiled on itself, before glaring at her and going upright. "Next time, use that fucking _scope_ to _look_ at what you're shooting, you little bitch! We don't use aura, so if you _hadn't_ missed our heart, we could've _died_!"

Ooh, that shut Red up. And...we're those _tears_? We're he able to, Roman would laugh. Oh this thing just became his number one pick for the coming draft week! Maybe he could still recruit-and now it was glaring at him. Oh well, there goes that plan.

"And you! Don't think we're letting you off easy! You threw a fucking car at us! We'll remember that, and we'll be back to watch you scream..." The creature's words were followed by the shifting of its left arm into a whip-like limb that lashed out and wrapped around the nearby streetlight. It swung off, leaving no trail, and disappeared into the night. A few seconds after it left, the gunk around his face vanished.

"...Well, that was weird wasn't it Red?"

"..."

"...Are you crying?" Roman asked, cringe-smirking as best he could around his broken nose.

"No!"

"Did you really think _everyone_ used Aura?" He shook his head. "See? It's shit like that that makes me do what I do."

"You're a thief!"

"Exactly, and you know how many thieves have Huntresses or Huntsmen come after them? None! It's the safest and most profitable business out there!" Roman threw his arms up. "Then you came along and now your 'goody two shoes' attitude is ruining the credibility of my business! The whole lot of you aura using nutbags are _freaks_!"

"Hey! Who are you calling a freak, jerk!?"

Ah, that was the buxom blonde that had been tailing him on the motorcycle. And she was holding a dumpster. That she probably planned to throw or hit him with. As his luck would have it, she did the former.

 _Dad, you were right about blondes._ Roman thought with a groan as the dumpster approached his unresponsive Paladin. _They're way too rough._

* * *

The Den was a large run-down apartment complex just on the outer edge of Vale. The homeless and refugees from failed settlements created it as a sanctuary for those that society had turned its back on. Most of the inhabitants were the latter, brought together by grief, and slowly they recovered. Those who had gotten well paying jobs stuck around the neighborhood, since crime was a rarity, and helped out here or there. Food was sparse, but rationed fairly, and the living space was decent. The Den's dwellers lived in apartments divided up by necessity, families with smaller children lived in the larger spaces, while single individuals either shared or lived alone.

Naruto was the latter, preferring the solitude, it left fewer questions to be asked by anyone. His home consisted of a simple cot, a closet, a simple heater that didn't work and busted fridge used to store various items, ranging spare clothes to Lien picked found on a hunt. Currently, he was on his cot with his shirt off, as he wound strips of cloth around his torso. While he didn't approve of the way that Kurama chewed that girl out, he did agree that it was a close call. Thankfully, the Anomaly had healed most of the damage to his lower three ribs and the fist sized hole in his left lung. All it left afterwards was a massive bruising that would heal on its own in a few days time. Coupled with the damage he took wiping out a small pack of Beowolves, he'd be right as rain by the end of the week.

The light that filtered in through his door was blocked by a figure. A chattering squeak made him grit his teeth and growl. He tied off the binds wrapped around his bare torso and turned to glower at the squirrel that sat on Dag's shoulder. The brunette had a small pot in her hands, likely his share of rations for the next day.

"Tiptoe's right," she said as she walked into the small studio. Her eyes lingered on the impromptu bandages for a moment before meeting his gaze. "You look like you got hit by a truck."

Tiptoe turned to look at the brunette and chittered again. Dag gave him a stern frown.

"Of course I wasn't going to say that! You watch your mouth, mister, or there will be less acorns in your future."

" _The rodent will only survive this night because technically we were almost road kill._ " Kurama grumbled.

 _And it wouldn't do us any good to waste any_ _more_ _energy tonight, would it?_

" _Semantics!_ "

"We might not know what you're saying, but we recognize the intent." Naruto warned as he walked over and glared eye-to-eye with the little rat. Tiptoe met his gaze, and the blond bared his teeth. "Keep it up, _rat_ , and we'll make good on our promise to eat you."

"Okay, break it up, boys." Dag said, pushing Naruto back. She gave the whiskered boy a tired stare. "You do realize that he'll only get worse the more you insult him, right?"

"That's not our problem." Naruto huffed. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. He glared at the squirrel one more time before he looked back at Dag. "So, if not just to have the light snack insult us, why come visit?"

"Oh. Well, I noticed you weren't there for rations tonight." Dag lifted the covered pot and smiled. "So...um, here."

"We don't _need_ to take rations, Dag."

"Oh." Her shoulders slumped slightly and she looked down. Her bushy tail drooped and almost touched the floor.

" _Way to go. Now she's sad._ " Kurama deadpanned.

Naruto grimaced. He didn't handle upset people well. Girls especially. Oh, sure, the empathic link was there, he could guess what people were feeling most of the time, but how to make them change how they felt? Not his strong suit. Unless they needed to be scared. He was pretty good at that.

"But, thanks," he said eventually. Dag looked up, surprised, when he took the pot and gave her a small smile. "The gesture is...We...It means a lot."

Her tail wrapped around her legs as she held herself and smiled back at him.

"Anytime."

* * *

Time passed, days, weeks, it didn't matter. Most of the Den didn't operate on a calendar, save for the ones who worked for a living. Naruto didn't. He lived on his hunger cycle. When he wasn't hungry, he would patrol the area around the Den. Drug dealers, arms peddlers, thieves and other assorted creatures that were attracted to the area for their business were relocated. Mostly by fear.

Some, however, needed a little push.

A tall skinny guy with long hair and a black knit cap was whipped out of an apartment into the hall. He hit the wall back first, and stumbled forward in a daze. Another more rotund fellow with a beard followed, and he collided stomach first with his friend. Both slumped to the ground with a chorus of groans as Naruto's Anomaly-covered form stepped out of the doorway. He tilted his head and allowed his Grimm-like mask to peel back so that he could show the two his distaste for them.

"How many times have we told you two to stay out?"

The two before him were a couple of small time drug dealers, but even calling them that was being generous. They were _terrible_ at their 'profession' and were known more as a duo of degenerates that usually hung out at a small general store. Frey was the fast-talking, foul-mouthed peddler who thought more with the lower of his two brains. His accomplice, Quiet Job, was the silent supplier that held the goods in his large overcoat and was often seen with a cigarette in hand.

"Take a fuckin' chill pill, man! We didn't fuckin' do nothin! We just needed to have a fuckin' place to sleep! Y'know, get some rest before we go make some cash for some fine ass!" Frey mumbled as he rubbed his head. He got to his feet, dusted himself off and glowered at the Anomaly before slapping the taller figure on the chest. "The fuck's wrong with you? Throwing us out on our ass like we don't belong here. Some way to treat the brothers that got your schizo ass a place to sleep after you fuckin came stumbling into Vale like a weak-ass _bitch_."

The bearded man beside him nodded as he fixed his jacket and his backwards cap, glaring up at the rustic figure as he did.

The blond ran a clawed hand over his face and released a frustrated growl. Unfortunately, Frey was telling the truth. The two slackers were the ones that told him about the Den when he first arrived in Vale. Then they tried to sell him a bag of "Nip", a popular drug utilized by Faunus to heighten pleasure.

"Frey, Job, while we are eternally grateful that you took the time out of your oh so busy schedules to help us get to The Den, you know the code: No _drug dealers_ , no _Lien stealers_. The Den is a place for healers."

"Fuck you, you fuckin' hypocrite, you don't heal jack shit." Frey crossed his arms. Naruto replicated the action and narrowed his eyes.

"No, but we don't bring _drugs_ into the Den. And we don't bring _cops_ into the Den."

"Man, you believe this guy?" Frey asked Job, who shook his head as he lit a cigarette. Frey looked back at Naruto with a frown, stepping forward. "We don't do any of that shit neither. We ain't been fuckin' busted for weeks! We just needed a fuckin place to fuckin crash, you freaky fuck."

"You want us to get freaky, Frey?" The Anomaly's white mask covered his face once more and Kurama's voice echoed his own. "Because we can get freaky if you want."

"Fuck off, you gay freak. You couldn't handle my footlong in the sack. Hell, you probably couldn't give lardbutt's bushy junk a decent jerk. He'd be all over your tight ass like a dog on Nip!"

Quiet Job furrowed his brows and then elbowed Frey, who turned to look at him. He made a few gestures with his hands and Frey blinked before he nodded in understanding. Then he rounded back on Naruto, aggressive glower back on his face.

"My bad, I meant that I'd be all over your sweet ass like a cat on Nip!" He turned back to Job. "Better?"

Quiet Job took a puff of his cigarette and nodded.

Naruto's eyes closed as he slammed his fist into the wall beside him so that it cracked, which made the two dealers jump. The Anomaly burned a bit more energy to increase his stature so that he towered over them.

"We don't have time nor the patience to deal with you any longer. This is our last warning. Stay out of the Den." His eyes opened again to cast a bright red glow that illuminated the slackers' fearful faces. "Or we will make an example out of you to the rest of Vale's seedy underbelly, one extremity at a time. Do you understand?"

Frey's nostrils flared and he opened his mouth to say something, when Quiet Job clapped a hand over it and spoke.

"We got the message. Honestly, we just came back to grab his porn stash and fell asleep looking for it last night. We don't want to risk any kids finding it."

Frey pushed Job's hand off of his mouth. "Dude, the fuck! Why the fuck would you tell this ass that?! I totally had this shit handled!"

Naruto ignored Frey's outburst and stared at Job, who continued to meet his eyes. As he did this, he was having a conversation with his Anomaly.

 _Is that seriously why they tried to sneak back in here? Then why the hell did we sense a huge amount of negative emotion?!_

" _Frey is an idiot that thinks about two things: drugs and sex. Likely, he has something else stashed away with their pornography. Best let them find it and get it out of the Den before another kid does._ "

 _If one hasn't already._

Naruto reached out and poked Job in the middle of the chest.

"...If you're lying to us, we will make your life a living hell. Understand?"

Job nodded.

"Good." Naruto's suit receded and he stalked off with his hands jammed into his pockets. "Find your shit and get out of our Den! We'll be back later."

The two degenerates watched him go before Frey smacked Job upside the head.

"Thanks a lot, ass-munch. Now he probably thinks we some sort of touchy-feely saints or something like that shit."

Quiet Job shrugged and stuck his cigarette in his mouth before he walked into the apartment. Frey waited a moment before he grumbled some obscenities under his breath and stormed in after him.

* * *

" _Those two are annoying. They made us waste way more energy than we should have. Have to admire their willpower, though._ " Kurama mused.

Naruto scoffed as he hopped down the stairway, then over the railing. He nodded in passing to other Den dwellers while he made his way to the side of the complex.

 _If they really had willpower, they wouldn't be dealing drugs._

" _Point. And-_ " Kurama stopped talking and Naruto abruptly stopped in his tracks. He turned his head towards the city square. His inner companion's voice was low. " _Do you_ _feel_ _that?_ "

"That's a lot of fear." He muttered under his breath. Then he clapped his hands over his ears when a citywide siren began to wail. Once he managed to become accustomed to the sudden noise, he heard more. Beneath the siren, there were faint screams. The Den dwellers moved into action, parents ushering kids into their homes, while others scrambled to clean up the courtyard.

Dag rushed over and grabbed Naruto's arm. "Naruto, come on! There's Grimm in the city!"

" _Grimm...came to us?_ " Kurama asked. Had he an actual face of his own, it could be excused if one imagined him licking his chops.

"Naruto!"

"Go."

" _What_?! Are you crazy? We need to hide!"

"Go, Dag." Naruto gently removed her arm from his. He didn't look at her, his eyes glazed over and a bit of drool building along his mouth. He turned from Dag, towards the city's center, and added, "We'll be back shortly."

He walked away without another word, leaving the stunned Squirrel-tailed Faunus behind him, and slowly his Anomaly's suit covered his body. Once the white mask was in place, he threw his arms up towards the apartment's roof, and two hook-tipped tendrils snagged the edge. He crouched down and then allowed himself to be flung into the air.

The slingshot gave him a prime view over the city. In the center, just a bit to the north side, was a swarm of black figures. Naruto's eyes flashed red and any thought about the cause of fear was lost. All that he could think about was how _hungry_ he was.

" _So much Grimm...So much..._ _Energy_." Kurama groaned in ecstasy. Naruto echoed his sentiment with a growl of his own and angled himself so that he would fall into the center of the black masses. He flipped at the last second and landed in a crouch with a groundbreaking crash.

Four huntresses-in-training stumbled upon his landing, and whipped around to get a look at what landed near them.

"Whoa!? What the heck is that!?" One of them cried out.

"I-It's that guy...the one I…" Another's softer words were lost as Naruto took in his surroundings.

He glossed over the Huntresses, their presence was noted, but ultimately not his concern. Instead, he focused on the Grimm. Creeps, Beowolves, Ursas, and even a King Taijitu! Oh, the spoils he was given by the world! Something out there must have really liked him. He would have to thank it for the feast.

"So many Grimm...So little space...We've died and gone to _heaven_!" Naruto declared with an ecstatic laugh. It was a smidge crazed, but he was essentially high on euphoria. Before the Huntresses could ask him anything else, he leapt at the nearest Grimm, a Beowolf, and wrapped his arms around its neck.

The four girls and the Grimm around them watched with shock, awe and - in the case of the latter - impassive wary as the Beowolf was ... _absorbed_ , for lack of a better term. Bones were heard snapping, yowls of pain echoed into the sky, before the Beowolf was gone and the rust-orange creature remained.

Naruto's shoulders rose and fall as he assimilated the Grimm with deep breaths. His biceps, shoulders, and forearms gained a slight increase as Kurama directed excess energy to the muscles. His clawed hands balled into tight fists and his mask split slightly to reveal the gnarly teeth within.

"More. Give us more. We want _more_!"

Naruto leapt at the next Grimm, an Ursa, and clocked it across the face. Then, before it could react, he grabbed its jaws and ripped it apart down the proverbial seams. Before it could dissolve, as most dead Grimm do, its corpse was absorbed like the Beowolf before it. The Anomaly grew larger, the runes dancing across it became clearer as the rust-orange skin became more apparent. Breathing heavily, Naruto lifted his head and looked at the waiting Grimm, a toothy smile on his face.

"So...Who's next?"

As if a gunshot had gone off, the Grimm moved. They bypassed the Huntresses and swarmed the Anomaly. Howls, snarls, roars and hisses were heard as they rushed the unknown creature. If one were able to look into the psyche of the Grimm, they would find an feeling believed to be impossible of the soulless creatures: They were afraid of this _thing_.

* * *

"How...what…?" Weiss Schnee stammered, lost for words, as the Grimm ignored her. In favor of this...this... _Abomination_.

Another Beowolf was forcibly bisected by the strange intruder, ripped in half by two hands at the waist. Never, in any of her studies, had she come across something so violent. It had to be a subspecies of Grimm, but if that were true then why was it eating _other_ Grimm? Didn't Grimm normally cooperate, regardless of species?

"What is that thing?" Blake Belladonna asked. She kept Gambol Shroud aimed at the orange humanoid. It was almost twice her father's height now, and nearly three times as broad. She watched its right hand shift into a double-headed axe and catch a Creeper mid-leap with it, disemboweling the Grimm and then absorbing it before it even hit the ground. The red eyes shone brighter for a moment, before the axe-like appendage tripled in size, and the muscle mass on the newcomer's body diminished.

"It's not a thing." Ruby Rose, the young leader of the group of heroines, spoke once she found her voice. Her stance had wavered, as she had not forgotten the words shouted at her beneath the overpass. She kept Crescent Rose in its scythe form. She didn't want to risk injuring the stranger again, on the chance he forgets whose side he was on. "It's a person."

"My right arm that's a person! Ruby, that thing is _eating_ Grimm!" Yang Xiao Long pointed, incensed at her sister's words. There was no way that thing was human or Faunus, it was way too efficient at fighting Grimm.

"Yang, that's the guy I shot!"

"What?" Blake whipped her head over to the younger girl.

"You shot someone!? When!?" Weiss snapped.

"Back with Torchwick and his Paladin. Remember? That's the scary guy that knocked it off of the Overpass!"

"You're _kidding_."

"I'm no-Duck!" Ruby yelped, dropping with her team to avoid the sudden emergence of orange and black spikes that shot out at them from the creature's body, and impaled many of the Grimm that had surrounded the stranger. When the long spikes retracted, the figure shrunk again, reverting to a more 'natural' build. One that was clearly masculine and humanoid.

"Geez, if it is a guy, where has he been all my life?" Yang asked, looking at the outlined definition with a grin. She would never turn down a free show, it just wasn't in her to do so. Even if the city was under siege by Grimm. Or if the show came from something that had yet to be confirmed as human or Faunus.

"I think you should be more concerned about what kind of semblance he has that allows him to eat Grimm," Blake said dryly.

"If that's the case, why haven't we seen him at school? Or heard about him before now?" Weiss asked.

Their queries were left hanging, unanswered and forgotten when the King Taijitu managed to wrap itself around the rust-orange humanoid. The snake-like Grimm hissed at the stranger, whose white mask had closed once more to conceal the gnarly teeth. The white head of the Siamese Grimm opened its mouth and managed to devour the morsel it had caught in one bite.

"...Well, that sucks," Yang said.

"What? You preferred not having to fight Grimm?" Blake asked.

"No," the buxom blonde sighed as she got to her feet, her teammates following suit. She punched her fists together and glared at the Grimm as they began to turn on her. "We have to kill them all without a free show."

"Glad to see your priorities are in order." Weiss huffed.

"I know what I like." Yang shrugged. "Now let's get these things out of-"

The white head of the King Taijitu spasmed. The Grimm that approached the Huntresses stopped and watched the leader warily. A growing bulge in its neck began to expand and its twin head reared back to let out a deathly shriek.

Then the white end of the giant snake exploded, and an orange clad figure landed at the Huntresses feet. The white mask on its face peeled back and a blond boy near their age began to hack up glowing green gunk. While he was doing this, an orange and black tendril shot out of his back and impaled the black head of the Taijitu through an eye.

* * *

"Bastard...Son of a _bitch_!" Naruto coughed and pushed himself to his feet, wiping an arm along his mouth as he did. He glared at the dissolving corpse of the Taijitu. That thing tried to _eat_ him just as he came down from his high. He was _not_ going to eat it. He had no desire to, now that he had gorged himself on numerous small Grimm. Instead, he would watch it die.

"Um...are you okay?"

Naruto turned to see a girl in a red hood, one of the Huntresses, judging by the size of her scythe. She seemed to freeze upon falling under his gaze.

" _Goddammit._ " Kurama snarled.

 _What's your problem? You can't be mad we killed the Taijitu! It tried to eat us!_

" _No, not that. That's the little brat that shot us._ "

 _Oh._ He pointed at her rifle. "You're not going to shoot us again, are you?"

"N-No." She shook her head rapidly.

"Good. That would suck. Seriously, we don't know how you Hunters heal, but healing without aura is a pain."

"You don't use aura?" A girl with a large black bow on her head asked. She's either a Faunus hiding her features, not the first time he'd seen it done, or she just has weird taste in accessories. Then again, they could be weirder. That huntsman in green spandex haunted his nightmares.

"Never saw the need to," Naruto explained with a shrug. He let his mask cover his face again and looked at the red-caped girl. "Sorry about before, we were hungry."

He was referring to his sudden arrival on the scene. He wasn't going to apologize for Kurama. She shot him, and that fucking hurt.

"Yeah, no kidding." The blonde girl with yellow gauntlets snorted. She looked him over once. "So, you got a name?"

"Is now really the time to have this conversation!?" The white themed girl asked. The Grimm had started to close ranks on them again. Naruto glanced at her, and then snorted.

"You act like we're in trouble or something. It's just a bunch of Grimm."

" _Mmm...Creeps are delicious...So rare to find above ground…_ " Kurama murmured in the back of his head. He resisted the urge to face-palm. If only because he agreed.

"Exactly my point! There's only five of us and-"

"We're here to hel-Holy cow, what is that thing!?" A blond haired boy declared as he and three more teens dropped down into the square backing up the four huntresses. He and his fellows aimed their weapons at the Anomaly, who deadpanned.

"Seriously? Why does everyone always attack us?" His mask melted away and he scowled at the shocked newcomers. "We're human. Don't shoot. Clear?"

"...It could be a trick-" The redheaded girl started, albeit her words were filled with uncertainty.

"Have you ever seen an orange Grimm?" he asked with a growl, eye twitching as he glared at the redhead. She shook her head and uttered an apology.

"That'd be pretty neat though," the girl with the large hammer mused. "An orange Grimm. Ooh, maybe there's a pink Grimm out there!"

"Nora, I don't think that's the point he was trying to make."

"Guys!? Hello! Horde of Grimm! Invading city! Right now!" The white haired girl pointed her rapier at the horde that had grown in size once again. Naruto furrowed his brows upon seeing the massive amount of Grimm.

"We could've sworn we'd eaten most of them."

"Did he just say he _ate_ Grimm?" The blond boy asked.

"Yes, Jaune. We don't know how he did either." The bow-wearing girl said before he could inevitably ask. "His ...appearance is because of a semblance-"

"What part of _bio-organic_ don't you people understand?!" Naruto groaned. He was homeless, barely educated, and even _he_ understood what the term meant. His annoyance drew in a charge from a Creeper. His right and left hands became large mallets, and he used both to smash the creature into the ground, then absorbed the corpse to make up for the energy he just wasted. He glared at the Grimm that just watched one of their own get demolished. "Do you _mind_!? We're trying to have a conversation, here!"

"...Is he okay?" The blond boy, Jaune, asked.

"No," Naruto said before one of the other Huntresses could speak. He rolled his neck before his mask sprouted back up over his face and his red eyes glowed. "We're _hungry_."

Then he leapt back into the mayhem. Grimm retaliated, as best they could, but they fell. He replicated and cut through them with their own claws, overpowered them with their strength, and rebuffed them with their own defenses. The horde was thinning as the Hunters kept portions separated, killing them and letting their bodies waste away. The ground shook as the scorpion Grimm species emerged further into the square, some distance away.

" _Ooh, we spy some Deathstalkers! Shame we don't have any Nevermore to accompany it._ " Kurama sighed.

 _Yeah, the crunchy exoskeleton tends to block out the feathery texture._ Naruto turned and crouched before he launched himself across the square, toward the arachnid-like Grimm. A Deathstalker launched part of the rubble it emerged from at him, and he held his hands up to form a large black shield that resembled Jaune's. The thrown debris made him lose momentum, causing him to land a distance away.

"Oh, so it's projectile time, huh?" he said to the Grimm. He reared his right hand back and a large black orb began to grow in it. When it finished forming, about the size of a small cannonball, he threw the orb at the center Deathstalker, the same one to throw debris at him. The cannonball's impact caused its head to cave in, crushing its body with a squelch, and leaving black stains along the cobblestone that started to turn into wisps of smoke.

The other Deathstalkers hissed as they charged, their many legs scuttling along the ground. He crouched down before leaping back up. Biomass built up in his left hand as he started to fall, a whistle accompanying his descent. Just as he hit the ground, he threw his fist down.

"Try _this_ on for size!"

His blow formed a small bowl-like dip in the street that spanned a good circular radius. Spikes formed from his biomass emerged from beneath the square's ruined cobblestone, impaling the Deathstalkers mid run and absorbing them into his body. He shuddered and remained there for a second to allow proper distribution of the assimilated mass.

The gunshots of various weapons along with the cries of the various Grimm were overshadowed by the sound of large engines. Naruto looked up and saw multiple airships. Atlesian in make, and filled with robotic drones that were dropped into the square and the surrounding area. The drones began to do away with the Grimm, overwhelming the monsters with vast numbers.

" _No, no, no, no! They're ruining_ _our_ _feast!_ " Kurama wailed. " _They're just killing all of them! Wasting it! They're wasting_ _our_ _energy!_ "

Naruto couldn't even think to respond before he found himself surrounded. The drones' guns were leveled at him, not even trying to hide their intent. Faintly, he heard someone shouting at the drones, telling them to wait. His eyes went wide, his mask peeled back and he lifted his hands.

"Wai-!"

The drones opened fire.

* * *

Aboard _The Hatchet_ , the Atlesian flagship of General James Ironwood's fleet, a military technician took a step back from the screen he was watching. He was a tall middle-aged man, the hint of a goatee sprouting on his chin and his black hair hidden by his uniform cap. His job was to monitor, record, and note any issues that might occur during the field test of the 200 model of the Atlesian Knights. What he just saw, however, was something that he didn't know how to classify. Calling it a glitch would not be doing it justice, and it wasn't a virus, as he saw nothing wrong with the initial scans. He wasn't about to forge the report either, especially when he knew that though the target didn't register as Human or Faunus, it was such.

He tapped at his pad, isolating AK-200 number K45 and overwrote its commands. The lone Knight remained behind and watched the body, going into observe mode, while its fellows moved on. The technician threw his notepad away and buried his face into his hand.

"Fuck..." Shikaku Nara groaned. He looked back at the screen, at the face that was looping in the Knight's memory bank. Whisker marked cheeks, blue eyes, blond hair. With a shaking hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his Scroll. A number was dialed, and after two rings, the call was answered.

" _Ah, Shikaku! So glad to hear from you again. What can I-?"_

"Sir, I found him." Shikaku interrupted. He stared at the screen, at the body that was fired upon by machines meant to protect. "I found Professor Namikaze's son. And you were right: the boy's mother had the experiment."

" _Understood. Bring him back. Don't worry about James, I'll make sure he doesn't interfere."_

"Yeah, about that." Shikaku frowned and watched the live feed. His eyes narrowed as the bullet holes slowly sealed shut. "I don't think that's going to happen."

" _And why not?"_

"Subject Nine is active...and Naruto is the host."

The call went silent before it disconnected. Shikaku let his scroll drop to his side and rubbed his face again.

 _...Oh, Kushina... What have you done?_

* * *

"They killed him." Ruby mumbled, eyes wide. Disbelief, shock, and horror kept her still as the strange boy fell after the AK-200s had surrounded him. The AK-200s, save one that was standing over the body, moved and joined their fellow drones as they started to clear the square.

The students rushed to the body of the boy that was helping them. There was a pool of blood beneath him, but the bullet holes

"Oh, God..." Jaune began to pale and turned away from the body. He dropped his weapons and put his hands on his knees, trying to resist the urge to vomit.

"Jaune?" Pyrrha asked softly. She rubbed his back, trying to help him keep his breakfast down. "Jaune, did you know him-?"

"No, but...ugh, he looks like me," he said. While they weren't closely resembled enough to be twins, but the similarities were enough to put a horrifying thought in his head.

"Why would the Knights attack him?" Weiss asked. "Sure, he looks like a Grimm, but...this is some kind of...Bio-weapon."

"Faulty programming?" Ren offered.

"This goes beyond a bug." Blake mumbled.

"Yeah…" Yang frowned. She looked at the Knights currently dispatching the rest of the Grimm horde. Normally, she wouldn't back down from a chance to take on some Grimm. Her gaze went to her sister, who was hugging her scythe and had a glazed look in her eyes. She wrapped an arm over Ruby's shoulders and let the younger girl come close.

"If they could k-kill him...then I almost...I almost…" Ruby whimpered.

"Shh, Rubes. You didn't know."

"The least we should do is close his eyes," Blake said softly. The others murmured their agreement. She crouched down and reached out to do just that.

"We didn't even know his name…" Nora mumbled.

A clawed hand shot up and grabbed her wrist, and the group screamed. Blake, though _immensely_ surprised by the action, didn't. Her eyes remained wide as the white Grimm-like mask crawled back into existence over the boy's face. The red markings were thicker and the teeth that were exposed were yellower up close. The eyes opened to reveal solid red orbs.

"...Rkma..."

Beneath her bow, Blake's ears twitched and despite herself she leaned closer. "What?"

"Wrkma."

"I don't-"

She was held in place as the boy rose up to his feet, the organic armor forming tendrils to lift him to his feet. The others stepped back, weapons up and ready to fight. The Knight remained stoic. They were all ignored as the ...thing stared Blake in the eye while it held her up by her arm. A faint form of recognition in the red orb kept her from freaking out.

" _We_..." The dual-voices were gone, only the guttural and darker voice spoke clearly and loud enough for the others to hear. "...are Karma."

Then, he set her aside and launched himself at the Knight with a monstrous snarl. The students watched as the self-proclaimed Karma went on a rampage.

* * *

Karma destroyed the Knights with ease and absorbed the Grimm they fought without issue, growing in size until he was at least eight feet tall and packed with muscle. The Knights and Grimm, in a strange turn of events, found themselves inadvertently teaming up to try and stop Karma.

There were a few Grimm, though not smarter per say, that were instinctually inclined to run. To flee. To survive.

"Ah, ah, ah. Where do you think you're all going?" Karma threw his arms forward, tendrils expanding across the great distance to spear through the retreating Grimm. His jagged smile became wider as he lifted his arms, and consequently the fleeing Grimm, up, before he brought them down on another group of the creatures. All of them were absorbed, replenishing the energy used to modify the body. A stray bullet crossing the bridge of his nose caused him to turn.

The Knights had regrouped and formed ranks, all of their weaponry. His wide smile remained as bullets rained down upon him from the Knights. Holes littered his body for a moment, before they started to close and he chuckled.

"We're sorry, were those supposed to hurt?" he asked, more to those commanding the machines than the machines themselves. He held his hands out to his sides, and his cannonballs began to grow in his palms. "Try again never."

The immediate 'first' flank were flattened by the black cannonballs, and the projectiles then exploded, launching little black spikes at the others nearby, reducing them to spare parts. Karma chuckled to himself before he was hit with another bullet in the right hand. The appendage started to freeze and he glared at the Knight that shot him.

"Oh, that's cold, bro."

He clenched his fist and shattered the ice before it could spread further. Dust infused weaponry proved useless against him. Ice was shattered before it could freeze, flames were doused before they could burn, electricity was rerouted, wind barely made a dent, earth was a laughable mistake, and gravity was ignored. Sure, it cost a bit of energy, but with the amount of Grimm he'd eaten already, it was a dip into the pond.

"Oi! Smiley!" Karma turned and found himself staring down a fashionista with a minigun. She smirked as the barrel on her weapon spun. "Try this on for size!"

"You don't want to do that," he attempted to dissuade her. For naught. Her bullets riddled his form much like the munitions from the Knights. He stood his ground as the rounds ripped into his flesh. A clear hole appeared in his stomach, easily the size of a grown man's head. Then, it swirled to a close and he put his full attention on the stunned Minigun Girl.

"What was _that_ supposed to do ...other than piss us off?" He asked dryly.

"It was supposed to hurt, at the least."

"Great idea," Karma said. He held his palm out towards her and grinned. "Wrong caliber."

Multiple cannonballs fired at her, the rate of fire was slower than the RPM of her Minigun, but the power behind each shot was just as strong. She evaded the attacks, allowing each cannonball to land near her, imbedded in the concrete.

"You need to work on your aim," she said, leveling her minigun at him again. He pointed at her feet.

" _You_ need to learn how to dodge."

"What?" Black and orange webs exploded from the cannonballs, covering her form and rendering her immobile as it quickly hardened. She glared at him. "I will kill you if this shit stains."

"Don't worry, _everything_ we make is biodegradable. Now stay out of our-Oof!" Something slammed into his back and forced _some_ kind of energy into his suit. It built up, rapidly, and felt like it was going to explode. Karma pointed a hand off towards a running Creep and launched another cannonball filled with the weird energy at it. It exploded into black chunks that wisped away. He turned around to find a boy with an _awesome_ color scheme staring him down.

"You have an awesome color scheme…" Karma said, before he frowned. "So, why would you go and do something _stupid_ like that?"

The boy blinked before a biomass layered fist the size of his head slammed into his gut. He doubled over it and was then launched away. He smacked into the side a building and was then covered with the same black and orange webbing that covered Minigun Girl. He hung there, his head dipped forward, and his eyes closed.

"You sit there and you think about what you did!" Karma scolded. Then, without looking, he caught the blade that was coming for his head. His body shifted, morphing so that he faced the other way, and stared down a tall boy in light green robes. Karma looked at the sword the boy held, then back at the boy. "...Nice sword. Mind if we borrow it for a sec?"

"Uhh-" An overhand blow from a morphed hammer-fist drove the boy into the cobblestone. Karma flicked a smudge of orange and black at the boy and he too was contained.

"We choose to take that as a yes." He swung the large sword around a bit, completely untrained and without any sign of grace. "This thing is kind of heavy. Great balance, though. And sharp, too. Why, I bet it could even cut through steel."

Karma glanced up at the hovering ships that dropped the Knights down on him. His grin became wide.

"Let's test that theory."

The sword could cut through steel...after it was assimilated and enhanced by the biomass. As pieces of dropships fell towards the streets, Karma ejected the weapon, fully intact, and left it next to the large boy. He saw movement in the corner of his eye and leapt over towards it. He landed behind a shivering rabbit-eared faunus girl that had hidden near a building's steps. Not far from Minigun Girl, now that he thought about it.

"Hello!"

"Ah-!" Black and orange gunk covered the girl's mouth almost immediately. Screams were _so_ loud, and Karma hated loud noises.

"Relax, little rabbit, we're not going to hurt you," Karma said to the rabbit-eared faunus. She stared at him with wide eyes and nodded. He could still taste the fear wafting off of her and rolled his eyes. "Really, we're not. We're just _done_ with turning the other cheek, get it? All we wanted to do was to eat. Is that so wrong? And we eat Grimm! Is that a problem, do you find an issue with that?"

She shook her head rapidly in the negative.

"Well for some reason, others do! Like, we get it, our face, a face a mother could love. Hold that thought," he said, holding a finger up. He flicked his left hand out and impaled a Beowolf with a stretched out spear from his arm. The Beowolf broke down in seconds, and Karma groaned. "Ahh, yeah. That's the good stuff. Anyway, what were we saying?"

The Rabbit-eared Faunus' teary eyes stared at him while she continued to tremble. Geez, this one didn't have much of a spine, did she? She was starting to feel like all sorts of negative emotions. However, she was also listening, intently. And she reminded him of someone, but he just couldn't put a finger on it.

"Oh yeah, we eat Grimm and others don't seem to like that for some reason. Weird, right? We think so. And what's worse is sometimes they think _we're_ Grimm, can you believe that!? Like, when's the last time you ever saw a walking, talking, _orange_ Grimm, huh?" he asked her. A tentacle sprouted from his back and snagged an Ursa as it tried to approach, breaking its neck and absorbing it. "Never! There's when! We're not a Grimm. We're human! ...or, at least, Naruto is. Kurama's ...well, Kurama is an Anomaly. Both, however, are mortal. Which means we're mortal. So when those Atlas toys got all shoot first, question later, they almost killed Naruto and Kurama!"

Her eyes went wide as they focused on something behind Karma. The Anomaly mistook it for being alarmed by his story.

"Oh, don't worry though, they're okay. Just healing, should be done soon. But in the meantime we get to have some fun _and_ we get to eat! Isn't that awesome? ...You still look kind of scared. Hey, is it getting dark out or is it just-Oh, hello there!" Karma smiled up at the large machine that towered over him. "Are you an amalgamation of yummy Grimm and those stupid fucking robots?"

The large machine extended two large boxes on its shoulders as the rabbit-eared faunus girl ran away. Then the boxes released a terrible, horrible, very bad _noise_!

Karma's hands clapped over the side of his head and he started to shriek.

 _Pain_! The boxes of pain gave off a noise of _pain_!

Karma dropped to his knees as the Biomass he'd built up started to ebb away. Slowly, the intimidating musculature diminished and he lost a foot of height.

 _Retreat! Back into Host! Flee!_

Naruto emerged from the Biomass and his nose, eyes and ears began to bleed.

 _Noise! So loud! Not good!_

The world went dark before his head fell to the ground.

* * *

" _We hope that you understand the ramifications of this, General Ironwood."_

Shadowed figures displayed on holographic screens faced a tall broad-shouldered man clad in a white uniform. His features could be described as steeled, and a mask of indifference was on his face. He stood as any soldier would while being addressed by a superior, proud and rigid.

Not far off to the side was a man wearing a nice black suit, a green scarf around his neck, and a cane in his hands. He had shaggy greyed hair, but the face of a middle-aged man, and small dark glasses that rested on his nose. Beside him stood a blonde woman dressed like a secretary, a pad of some sort in her hand and professional glasses over her eyes.

"To my knowledge at the time the situation was being handled, Councilors. If I had known-"

" _Your_ _forces shot a citizen of Vale, surrounded him like he was a Grimm, and_ _shot_ _him._ _Repeatedly_ _. On camera!"_ The leftmost councilor snapped. _"Then that footage had been leaked through the CCT!"_

The man with the cane tightened his grip around it. The woman beside him closed her eyes and shook her head. They were _furious_ with the Knights had done. It was their job to handle Vale's security, and while Ironwood's assistance was done with the best intentions, he was too arrogant.

"The sensors indicated that he wasn't human or Faunus," General Ironwood said.

" _Explain that to the people of Vale, then. Explain to them why that boy is in the hospital because he's not human or Faunus, and then explain why the hospital's results show that he is human!"_ The center Councilor demanded. Ironwood remained silent.

" _Be happy the boy will live, General, but now the people are incensed."_ The rightmost Councilor said. _"The students of Beacon that witnessed your forces shoot him down did not keep silent over it. The footage of the attack is circulating the Kingdoms. And his ...fellows in the Den's district are becoming vocal. Your assistance in quelling the threat that Roman Torchwick presented is noted, but as it is, we will not allow any armed forces of Atlas to remain in Vale."_

"You can't be serious," Ironwood said, his composure falling. "We have the Vytal Festival-!"

" _Which is_ _exactly_ _why you will send back all of your unnecessary forces!"_ The leftmost Councilor snapped. Ironwood frowned. _"Frown all you like General, but the life of that boy is on your shoulders. If he does not recover, if he falls victim to the wounds_ _your_ _weapons inflicted upon him, well...we might have to_ _insist_ _that Atlas' Council re-evaluates your_ _position_ _."_

Ironwood's hand balled into a fist, the only sign of his agitation. He took deep breath before looking at the Council with hardened eyes. "Is that all?"

" _For now. Send your forces back, General. They appear to be in need of a...tune up."_

The screens blinked out of existence and the shutters rose, allowing light back into the room. Ironwood hung his head and braced himself against the desk that sat in front of him. Movement made him look up and see the man with the cane take a seat behind the desk, the blonde standing at his side.

"Ozpin, I-"

"Your intentions for your actions, James, are irrelevant." Ozpin, Headmaster of Beacon, looked upon the Atlesian General and Headmaster with a frown. "Do as the Council says, send your forces back. Then, we will speak. I will not have them in my city a moment longer. Not when riots are on the brink of breaking out."

"What?" Ironwood blinked.

"Glynda?" Ozpin looked at the blonde woman, Glynda, and she nodded. She looked down at the pad in her arms and tapped at it.

A screen popped up from Ozpin's desk and displayed live footage of police forces in riot gear standing outside the gates of Beacon, deterring the swarm of protesters from storming the school. Some were dressed in rags, others dressed in casual wear. Signs against Atlas' "Faulty Forces" were scattered among the crowd. Many of those present were younger, the age of students, and even more were shouting derogatory terms at the law enforcement, accusing them of protecting Atlas, but they were not just Humans or just Faunus. For the first time in Vale's history, a crowd of both Humans and Faunus were united.

"...I didn't want this, Oz."

"I know, James."

* * *

 **AN: Like it, don't like it, I don't care. This story's been rattling around in my head since that awesome/stupid trailer was released. Awesome, because, well...obviously. Stupid because some of the effects...need more time to perfect. This may or may not be continued.**

 **In regards to my other stories, they are not cancelled. They _are_ being worked on. I just have a lot of shit to deal with. So yeah, life tanks.**

 **Y'all know what I want ya to do!**

 _ **REVIEWSKI!**_


	7. It Never Dies

**AN: Yeaaah...This one's summed up in two words: He's _back_.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **RWBY**_ **,** _ **PJO**_ **or** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **It Never Dies**

* * *

"Man, why is it that I always find myself sitting on the edge of an overpass?"

The one asking the question was a young man who was, in fact, seated on an overpass overlooking the City of Beacon. He was dressed in utilitarian pants and boots, with a form-fitted, long-sleeved white shirt underneath a black combat vest, with padded gloves on his arms. Strapped to his back to form an X were two katana. A white mask with large black domino circles around the red eyes was on his head, though part of the mask had been pulled up to reveal his lower face. Three lines marred either cheek, and hanging from his mouth was a bit of cheap noodles.

"Hey, this stuff wasn't cheap, asshole!" The young man scowled at the audience. He pointed his chopsticks at the screen while the red eye-lenses narrowed. "In fact, it cost me...uh...Alright, one US dollar equals 1.29 Canadian dollars and one green card of Lien equals about one-fourth of that...Well, it sure as shit cost me more than the amount of time you spent describing my sexiness! And I know for a fact that your wannabe Uatu won't do me any justice when he's trying to explain who I am to the Limbo-trapped fine ass viewers of Beacon Academy!"

The young man slurped up the rest of his ramen cup, then tossed both it and the chopsticks down to the alley beneath him. It landed square in the dumpster and he pumped his fist.

"Nailed it!" The young man grinned and pulled his mask down, covering his face. He tucked the mask into his collar so that it fit perfectly around his head. "Now, some of you lovelies may know exactly who I am, or at least, who I'm dressed like and why - and some of you will predictably hate on the lazy writer that is totally ripping off of Reynolds' masterpieces for his own amusement, but I'll find out where _you_ bastards sleep later. I gotta find _his_ first, and ... _converse_ with him over the cliffhanger hell he put me through. But we'll get back to _that_ another day. For those of you who don't know me, allow me to introduce myself."

He hopped to his feet and dusted off his butt, before he put his fists on his hips and puffed out his chest.

"I am the Deranged Demigod! The Moron with a Mouth! The Immortal Mortal! The Champion of Hades, Ares and Mars Bars! I am the son of Dionysus, Olympian God of Madness and Parties of Earth colon One-Five-Zero-Four-Zero-Sixty-Nine, semicolon S-O-M forward slash B-B-Fifteen," he said, before he took a deep breath and smiled, visibly showing beneath his mask. "But my friends call me Naruto!"

Naruto held up a finger and nodded.

"I know what you're thinking, dear audience. Why am I, the Son of Madness and all around awesome incarnate, doing on Remnant? Well, because the lazy author I usually submit to is _so_ fucking bad at his 'job', I'll save you all a shit ton of weak writing or, Olympus-forbid, another rip-off of Reynold's and Miller's brain baby. Lean in close, kiddies, because this...this is going to blow your minds. Are you ready?" Naruto cupped a hand over his ear and waited a moment. After a gust of wind passed by, he lowered his hand and frowned at the audience. "Okay, look, I know that the _readers_ can't respond to me until we get to the reviews at the bottom, but all ten of you bitches sitting on those couches in the random room of that time displaced Beacon Academy better fucking say something or I'll start to think I'm _actually_ going crazy. Now, I said, are...you...ready?"

Naruto crossed his arms and tapped his foot. He peeled back his glove and checked his _Digimon_ watch. A few seconds ticked by. He sighed, slid his glove back into place, and then glowered at the audience.

"Fine. Since _someone_ refuses to speak up," he coughed into his fist the words 'Snow White', before continuing, "I'll keep that little tidbit a secret. For now, we should rejoice and be happy! For I am not after a walking ton of fun this time! No, my loving fans, I am being sent after the Remnant version of Ajax! Be still my throbbing murder boner...Oh, wait, that's my Scroll ringing. Hold please."

Naruto reached into the front of his pants and pulled out the high-tech device. A flick of his wrist and it opened up. He held it up to his ear, like one would a phone, despite the fact that scrolls weren't designed to operate that way.

"You've reached NU World Order, Inc. My name is Naruto, who may I k-word for you?"

" _God, would it kill you to pull the Scroll away from your mouth!?_ " A young woman's voice asked.

"Maybe. So what's up, Vernie? Sneaking away from decoy duty to call little ol' me?" Naruto asked as he walked along the precarious edge of the overpass. "Or did you lose the duty to next year's model? I'll come console you intimately if you want. Just say the magic words."

" _I don't know what you're talking about._ "

" _Sure_ you don't," he said, rolling his eyes. He casually went into a handstand and began to walk along the edge, back toward where he was sitting. "How's MILF-in-law, be-tee-dubs?"

" _Infuriated and determined to cull your balls._ "

"Ooh, sounds fun! You want in, or you just going to watch?"

" _God...Shut up and listen, asshole! I just want to know if you're in position to kill Rainart!_ "

"Honey, ask nicely and I'll bend over for you, there's no need to resort to poor exposition."

" _Are you!?_ "

"It's on my to do list. Don't worry about it, V, I'll murderize Francis for you. First, I got some fodder fish-sleepers to get through."

" _Idiot!_ "

"I know you are, but what am I?"

" _A walking hazard to my health._ "

"Nope. That's Cinder in the sixth volume." There was an aggravated snarl over the line before the call ended. Naruto stared at the Scroll for a moment. "Rude! She didn't even say goodbye. Hm, I wonder who Salem will send to speak with Sienna after I ice this yahoo? I bet that I could get in on that gig. Just got to suck a few toes and kiss a few co-"

A door being thrown open made the masked young man look down. Below, he saw an older man get tossed across the alley into a dumpster. The same dumpster he'd thrown his ramen in, to be specific. A group of thugs, no more than eight or nine, dressed in suits came out of the establishment and shut the door behind them. One approached the old man and slammed the dumpster lid onto his hand, causing the old man to scream.

"...There are Yakuza in Vale!? Fuck, yes!" Naruto pulled both katana from his back and rolled his neck. "Time to be a hero."

He jumped down from the multiple-story overpass. He free fell for about three seconds before flipping and executing a flawless Superhero Landing, his katana held at his sides. The thugs that were assaulting the old man turned to the newcomer and lifted their generic weaponry. Naruto pursed his lips.

"Oh, Ruby isn't going to like that. Hm, I hope she doesn't riff on Bae Artoria," he said, speaking mostly to himself while he looked at his two katanas.

"Walk away, freak. You don't want to get involved in this," Random Thug Number One said, pointing his pistol at the demigod.

"Ugh, so unoriginal! At least call me assmuncher or dickcheese. Oh, wait, I forgot that your show was PG because of the Fantasy Violence. Still can't believe that the Lannister rip-off totally gets to waste your first noticeable swear word," Naruto said. He shook his head. "I would've totally given that to Migona? Minoga? Mjolnir? ...Whatever, I would've given it to Dark Mousy, but that's just me."

"Senior wants this job done quietly. No witnesses," one of the thugs said to the others. They nodded and advanced on the masked man.

"Señor Senior Sr. is your boss!? Oh, I love that guy! He's a better class of criminal, not as awesome as, say, Cain Marko, but still awesome," Naruto said. He arched a brow when the Yakuza cocked or primed their weapons. "Isn't gunfire the opposite of quiet?"

"Kill him!"

"Oh, puh-lease do try," Naruto said, grinning behind his mask again. The first shot came from the thug with a pump-action shotgun in his hands. The masked demigod cut the slug in half so that two equal portions flew past his head and hit the wall of the building behind him. "Steeeerike one!"

The Shotgun-toting thug blinked behind his sunglasses, pumped his shotgun and shot again.

"Steeeerike two!" Naruto sliced through the slug with an upward swing of the other arm, resulting in the same outcome as the first. A third slug was scissor-sliced by both katana. "Steeeerike three! You're outta there!"

"...Oh, _fuck_...He's got some kind of semblance!" Shotgun Thug groaned.

"If only…" Naruto sighed, lowering his swords slightly.

"He can't block all of our shots! Move, Randy!" Random Thug Number Two shoved Shotgun Thug aside as he, RTNs Four, Six, and Seven stepped forward with their Uzi-styled machine guns in hand. They fired as a group at the masked man, who attempted to block every shot with his swords, swinging wildly as one would in an action film. When their clips were empty, Naruto stopped swinging and lowered his swords. Slowly, his white suit became filled with dark red blotches.

"...Ow…" He coughed blood as he dropped to his knees and held his stomach. "Oh, gods...Fuck...that hurt. That hurt a lot. That hurt more than the time Lester shot me. Heh, good times. I miss that guy. And Tasky. And Tasky's sweet, sweet ass."

"Well, at least we got him," RTN Six said lowly.

"Oh, the pain! The agony!" Naruto dropped to his side and rolled onto his back. He coughed up a fountain of blood, dousing his white mask even further in the red. "Oh! Oh, gods! I'm dyin!"

"...Shouldn't...shouldn't we do something?" RTN Seven asked. RTN Four slapped him upside the head.

"Like what, dumbass?"

"The _pain_! It's _tremendous_!" Naruto let an arm rest over his side. He rolled his head back to look at the thugs. "You've got to end it! End it! Be merciful, dammit!"

"And waste the bullet? Randy, get over there and put one in his mouth." Pistol Thug ordered.

"What, why me?" Shotgun Thug, Randy, asked.

"Because your useless shotgun didn't do anything!"

"It's not useless!"

Naruto let out a loud, exaggerated cry of pain. "Oh, gods on Olympus and beyond! I can't stand the pain! I'll keep shouting, until _someone_ stops it! _Anyone_!"

"For the love of-Fine! I'll clean up your mess! Again!" RTN Three came forward with a sword. He lifted it up over the masked man's head. He brought the sword up and then down once again, stabbing the blond through the center of his forehead. After a moment, RTN Three pulled his sword out and flicked the blood off. He shook his head as he stared at the corpse. "Sorry, nothing personal."

"I know. It's for the Academy."

"What the _fu-_ urk!" RTN Three jerked as the masked warrior's two katana pierced through his stomach and out his back. He coughed up some blood and stumbled back, dropping his long sword in the process.

Naruto rolled to his upper back, and then kipped up to his feet. He held his arms to the side and looked up at the sky. The upper part of his white mask was red with drying blood.

"Thank you, mania-induced limited immortality! You save me yet again!"

"How the fu-?" RTN Three reached for the swords in his gut, but Naruto whipped around and grabbed them. He twisted them around, then jerked his arms to the sides, causing RTN Three to be nearly bisected, and killing him in the process. He remained on his feet, though, something that amused Naruto immensely, until he pushed the standing corpse over so that it bled out on the ground.

"...J-Jerry?" RTN Five, the other Longsword wielding grunt, asked. He and his fellows were shocked

"Jerry? Does that make you Tom? Or Ben? Please be Ben. I would murder for a bowl of Rocky Road," Naruto said, smiling at his pun. He looked at the audience once more as time slowed to a stop. "Okay, Loser, don't disappoint me with that shuffle button!"

The song, "Ready To Die" by Andrew W.K. was heard only by readers, viewers and the Deranged Demigod himself. Naruto stared at the audience, eyes wide with shock, before he used the back of his hand to wipe at the corner of his mask's eyes.

"...Loser, I take back half the bad things I said about you," he sniffed. He twirled a katana as time resumed to flow naturally. "Time to get Curtis Arnott up in this bitch!"

"Wha-?" RTN Four was swiftly decapitated after Naruto rushed at him, clearing the distance that was between them in the blink of an eye. RTN Two lifted his rifle to block the overhead slice, but the katana cut through the weapon, and human behind it, like butter. RTNs Six and Seven changed their weapons to melee mode and engaged the dimensionally displaced demigod in close quarter combat.

"Oh-ho! So you, too, are both going to challenge me, hm? Well, I am a master of the ancient and sacred art of Mock Fu! Prepare to be dazzled by quips, by jokes, by puns and even, dare I try, the horror of a ninja haiku!" Naruto declared as he parried and blocked the thugs' attacks. He caught both swords in a lock up of his left katana, Bae, and flipped his right katana, Artoria, around. "Now be amazed, as I initiate the alt mode of my wicked awesome and totally original dual-type weapon!"

Like a certain (poorly) disguised cat Faunus, Naruto's right katana shifted into a pistol.

"Oi!" Naruto glared at the audience as time slowed to a crawl again and the music stopped abruptly. "Unlike that quarter-bouncing Bellabooty's Gambol Shroud, my Bae Artoria has a Desert Eagle alt mode. And that small difference definitely makes it original."

The time and music resumed, and Naruto promptly used the pistol to shoot both thugs in the head. Immediately afterwards, he performed an impressive leap-spin to avoid a stab from behind via RTN Five. Naruto lashed out with Bae, cutting the man across the face, before lifting Artoria and fired no less than six shots into the swordsman's chest.

"Dude, you saw me trounce those guys, right?" Naruto asked the corpse as it fell. He shook his head and absentmindedly lifted Artoria behind him to shoot Randy in the head as he tried to flee the scene. The music he and his audience heard came to a close. He ejected the magazine and sighed. "Man, these nine-round magazines are suh-wee- _yow_!"

Naruto jumped a few feet in the air and dropped Artoria so that he could hold his right asscheek. He whipped around and stared incredulously at Pistol Thug, who was holding the old man the group was attacking originally hostage.

"...You shot me in my firm right cheek, you _dick_!" He scowled and then gestured to the hole in his butt. "Do you know how many sessions of Jazzercising you've thrown to waste!? Ugh! The nerve!"

"Come near me, and the old man's brains get splattered on the walls!" Pistol Thug snapped.

"Why would you bother to get my attention after taking him hostage? That's only going to encourage your death, you know." Naruto pointed out. Pistol Thug looked alarmed and jerked his gun into the old man's face.

"Don't you come any closer, asshole!"

"That's your fault, dickcheese!" The masked demigod snapped. He looked up at the sound of sirens and arched a brow. "Uh-oh, the piggies smell blood. Or likely a concerned citizen heard gunshots and alerted the authorities. Your ass is grass!"

"Stay back...I said stay back!" Pistol Thug pointed his gun at Naruto and pulled the trigger seven more times.

Seven new holes were put into the young man's formerly white shirt. Naruto put his right hand at the small of his back and pushed, getting an audible pop as his chest wounds healed, and a stray bullet dropped down from where it had impacted his spine. Both hostage and hostage-taker were in awe at the sight of the healing in action.

"Cool, right? Want to see something _awesome_?" Naruto grinned beneath his mask and lifted his right hand, twisting it into various forms used for shadow puppetry. The hostage taker and his hostage were entranced by the sight, waiting for something to happen. "Now for the magic words: Klaatu! Barata! ...Nikto!"

With that last word, he used an underhanded throw to launch Bae at Pistol Thug's head. The sword impaled him through his left eye at an awkward angle, and the old man let out a horrified cry as blood splattered onto his person.

"Oh, gods, please tell me that you're not a haemophiliac. I don't want to deal with gender-swap Tsunade," Naruto said, scowling behind his mask. He winced when the older man fainted, landing hard on the concrete. "That'll probably crack his skull. And there's the blood. Yup. ...So much for do-goodery."

He picked up Artoria and pried Bae out of Pistol Thug's skull, before he skedaddled it out of the alleyway.

Ignorant of the small white drone that watched him from above.

* * *

"You cannot be serious, Ozpin. This person is a _maniac_." The outrage voice belonged to a shapely blonde dressed like a businesswoman. Playing in front her was the footage captured by the drone on a loop. Oh, he was talented, she would admit that much, but his methods were lethal. Far too lethal for her to condone.

The man she addressed, Ozpin, was seated at the desk that was playing the video. He had his gaze locked on the images, his green eyes narrowed in thought while his hands intertwined under his chin.

"He's skilled, Glynda," said a man dressed in white that stood to the side. His dark hair was trimmed neatly and his jaw squared, presenting a handsome face to the woman. Glynda Goodwitch scowled at him.

"And he clearly lacks a moral code, _General_."

"Glynda, I like it even less than you do. But we need someone with that sort of skill to stay _out_ of Salem's clutches," General James Ironwood said. He rewound and re-played the moment where the masked swordsman bisected shotgun slugs. "And we also need to know where he learned how to do that."

" _Shot in the dark, it was trial and error?_ " A raspy voice asked with a hint of dark humor. Ironwood and Goodwitch glowered at the holographic and lanky individual that was 'leaning' against the lone desk in the darkened room. He took a swig from his flask and then shrugged. " _This guy gets things done. I could use a hand out here where the_ _real_ _hard work is. I don't see a problem._ "

"Of course you don't, Branwen. You're drunk." Ironwood deadpanned.

" _...And your point is?_ "

"How are you our best intelligence officer? How?"

"It's because he's voiced by an actual celebrity. He got that Super Mario star power!"

Heads turned and stared at the blond youth that was currently ringing out his white mask of blood while he leaned against the wall. His white shirt was hanging on a clothesline that had been strung up in the doorway, dripping water onto the floor. One of his swords had been impaled in the wall and his vest hung on it. Two purple eyes looked up and blinked at the four pairs that stared at him.

"Do you not have Super Mario here? ...No? ...This dimension _sucks_ worse than a virgin on prom night," Naruto said with a huff. He flicked his mask out one last time before he penned it up on the line next to his shirt. He turned around and yelped as both Ironwood and Goodwitch pointed their weapons of choice at him. He arched a brow at the latter's. "...Are you asking me to be your sex toy? Because I'm _so_ up for that after the night I had."

"How did you get in here?" Ironwood asked.

"Well, the door wasn't locked…"

The holographic lanky figure snickered. Ozpin sighed.

"How did you _really_ get in here?" he asked. Naruto huffed and crossed his arms.

"Impertinent, the whole lot of you," he said. His blue eyes rolled as Ironwood and Goodwitch kept their weapons leveled on him. "If you _must_ know, I may have, sort of, kind of struck a deal with Chronos, the Greek God of Time, so now I can... _slip_ through the timestream, which allows me to teleport, in a way. It's the Loser's way of giving me the OG DP's teleporting belt, but not as cool. I wish that he'd let me keep my voice boxes instead, but...sadly, Kurama and Yami, my favorite random voices since Mr. Bubbles went away...didn't survive the trip through dimensions."

Naruto choked back a sob and let his lip warble. Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" played in his head as he recalled their best moments. Such as their arrival in chapter two of Sound of Madness, Yami's damage in Chapter Three, and the consequential haikus of horror that followed. He sniffed.

"And the worst part of it is, I can't see the OTP I so Kuvet set sail," He dropped to his knees and covered his eyes with both hands. "...I'm sorry, Scarlatina! I _failed_ you!"

"Wonderful...He's _insane_." Goodwitch grumbled as she lowered her crop from the sobbing young man. She blinked, startled, when he appeared under her arm making eyes at her, all sign of his depression gone.

"Flattery will get you _everywhere_ , my dear." He leaned in and whispered in her ear. " _Everywhere._ "

"Get. Off."

"Oh, I plan to. All over your-" He ducked away from the glare she leveled on him, reappearing on the other side of the room, next to Ironwood. "Bed! Jeez! You're worse than my Tasky when she gets the urge. ...Or when she goes through a memory lapse, something that was supposed to happen in the next chapter of _my_ story, but _somebody_ lost the notes!"

"...Who are you shouting at?" Ozpin asked. He looked out the window that the blond was staring out of. The room became tense. "Is someone there?"

"It doesn't matter, you won't believe me even if I told you. Even a Wizard as old as you are and-wow, look at the size of that barrel!" Naruto exclaimed as he stared down the barrel of Ironwood's gun. He glanced up at the white-suited General and waggled his brows. "Bet that's compensating for something, eh, Cyborg?"

"Is there a point to you being here, Mr...?" Ironwood asked, a scowl on his face from the cyborg remark.

"Augh, I go through all the trouble to make an awesome introduction at the beginning of the story and you don't bother to pay attention to it!? Why do I even bother with you people?! Raven was right, you're _all_ going to die. Well, maybe not him, unless they lose funding to pay Broly," Naruto said, nodding at the hologram, who was currently coughing after the name was mentioned. He snorted. "Wow, you got a drinking problem or something, Qrow?"

" _How do you know Raven?_ " The lanky man, Qrow, asked, glowering at the blond while also ignoring his question.

"...Why wouldn't I? She's my MILF-in-law, Uncle-in-law. ...Or at least, according to the Bae-ble she is."

"Bae-ble?" Ozpin asked, a brow raised.

"Y'know, a Bible for The Bae, aka _me_?" Time slowed and Naruto looked at the Audience, a grin on his face. "Oh yeah. I'm _all_ for making that magic happen, Goldilocks. Just know that we might have to talk about this whole monogamy thing. In bed. A lot. First things first, though."

He looked at Ozpin as time resumed. "It's not important since you aren't part of Dag's book club. And no, I _was_ talking about Squirrel Girl. Side note, totally down with doing a Squirrel Girl if the mission so demands. Faunus Fucker Forever!"

"Language!" Goodwitch snapped.

"English!" Naruto retorted. He blinked and rubbed his chin. "Or...Japanese, originally. Sometimes I speak that magical Weeaboo, but that comes and goes. As does my verbal tic and/or battle cry, 'Dattebayo'. It really depends on how bad the Loser's ADD slips in."

"Do you have _anything_ meaningful to say here?"

"Hm? Oh yeah!" Naruto palmed his head. "I got so wrapped up in fourth wall jokes I almost forgot about that stupid plot thing. Oh, the drawbacks of being written by an amateur, I swear...Anybutt, care to tell me where I can find Hansel?"

"Hansel?"

"Hazel, sorry, Freudian slip. He got a funny German name. Not as funny as Sneeze, but still funny," Naruto said. He started snapping his fingers. "Sounds like brain fart, but not as clever."

" _Hazel Rainart?_ "

"That's him! Where he at? I got a gig to k-word this guy and I'd like to be done with this scene before we hit _five_ -thousand words," Naruto said dryly. He tapped the watch on his wrist. "Clocks' ticking. Tell me now please, or I'll have to time teleport to him."

"...Why not do that to begin with?" Ozpin asked.

"Because A) where's the fun in that? It's like Lady Luck, not very cinematic. B) insert reader's choice of a convoluted and/or second weakly written reason that I can't do that. C) I wouldn't have gotten to give Goodwitch's girls a nuzzle in exchange for a cheap laugh. And my D. ...Nothing further." Naruto shrugged.

" _...Oh my god, I don't know if I hate this kid or if I like him._ " Qrow admitted while the other adults in the room stared at him in bewilderment.

"Ooh, ooh! Like me! I'm on Kindling, Flashtalk, FriendScript, and Yowl," Naruto said, swiping through his scroll. He let his shoulders fall. "My Chirper account got shut down because of my nametag. I thought that (a)Foxy_Ramen_Fucker wouldn't have been taken in the wrong way, but...I was wrong."

"Yes...Well, I'm sorry to say that I haven't spoken with Hazel in a long time," Ozpin said. He drifted off in somber thought.

"A shame, but nothing I didn't expect," Naruto sighed. "Because of what happened to that Gretel chick, right."

"Gretchen."

"Yeah, that bitch." Naruto nodded.

"You shouldn't speak ill of the dead."

"And you should learn to screen all of your guests. Maybe then Fall would've have come by now, but she definitely would've been done if she had my help." Naruto shrugged. He slipped over to the other side of the room, back near his things and started to get dressed. Once he got his mask back on, he gave the four a grin. "If you guys ever need a hand, or two, let me know and I'll find someone to donate."

Then he was engulfed in a cloud of purple smoke.

"Stupid smoke bombs! Always go off prematurely!"

Naruto vanished while coughing up a lung.

"...I don't think we ever got his name." Ironwood drawled.

"No. No we didn't." Ozpin shook his head, a small smile on his face.

He doubted any of the others noticed, but the entire time they spoke with the young man, he controlled the conversation. He diverted attention while holding it, sized them up and stared them down. He gave them a few leads, a hint or so, such as Raven's inevitable teaming with Salem. Ozpin hadn't survived so long with his curse without a keen wit, so he had noticed. And he noticed the gift the boy left.

There was a small card left on his desk. One he quickly picked up. An ace of spades, with a red circle bisected by a red line drawn crudely over the spade in crayon. A number was scribbled along the left, and two words along the other side: _Amber's Hott_.

The smile Ozpin wore vanished.

Things just became a lot more complicated.

* * *

"You know, it's times like this that I really _love_ them line breaks. Scene shifts? Bah, whatever, it's a convenient plot device," Naruto said with a shrug. He was without a care in the world despite being unmasked, literally disarmed (thankfully at the elbows), naked, and strapped down to a stretcher by black leather bands. He looked up at the white-faced, white-haired, red-eyed woman that stood over him, blinked and then tilted his head. "...Claudine Renko?"

"Who are you?" the woman demanded, her red eyes narrowed. Elation spread across Naruto's face and he gasped.

"Cortana! You're alive! My _Halo 2_ fanfiction is saved!"

"Answer me, fool. Who are you? How did you find us?"

"Oh, don't ruin our reunion by getting all technical over the _plot holes_!" Naruto groaned. "Only _I_ can do that! Here, let's play twenty questions. Winner, gets to do _anything_ they want to the loser. I'll even give you a hint, I'm rock hard."

A hand gripped his throat and squeezed, Naruto gagged. From the left came a lean man with crazed eyes, dark hair, and a scowl on his face.

"Fools should not speak to our Goddess in such degrading banter," the man spat.

"Tyrion," the woman gave him a look and he released the blond's throat. He bowed his head in submission and stepped back. The woman looked back at the blond. "Answer me. How did you find me?"

"Ahem, well, would you believe Agent Redd Herring led me to you?" Naruto asked. He shook his head and grimaced. "Oh, what I would do for some hands right now to rub my neck. For a whoring half a man, that's some killer grip."

"...Can I cut his leg off, Mistress?" Tyrion asked, his eyes ablaze while his features remained flat.

"No." The woman denied as she circled the blond. "You _will_ tell me how you found us eventually. The longer it takes, the more pain you'll feel before you die."

"You clearly have not been reading the past few scenes. Listen, Zoey, I know you're all into this World Domination schtick, but I'm just here to end the life of Mr. Sunshine over there so I can get paid. And possibly laid," Naruto said with towards the shadows to his left, where he believed Mr. Sunshine was. He waited a beat before frowning. "Huh, usually the walking dead make some kind of noise after that sort of threat."

"You're a contract killer?"

"Beerus' Balls of Destruction!" Naruto yelped and jerked in his restraints when Hazel Rainart spoke up on his right. He whipped his head to the shadows, back to Hazel, back to the shadows again, before looking at Hazel with narrowed eyes. "You wouldn't happen to be a child of Pluto would you?"

"Who?"

"Oh, good, you have no idea what I'm talking about. There's only enough space in this dimension for _one_ demigod!" Naruto huffed, then turned to look at the audience. "Not to mention I _totally_ don't want to kill Rule Sixty-Three Levesque after what happened to Jasper. Frank would never forgive me. He still might not after that whole Amazon incident."

"This guy's a loon," Hazel said dryly. The blond snorted and turned away.

"Sticks and stones might break my bones," he said loudly, before whispering to himself, "But names will always hurt me."

"Enough of this. Tell us how you got here!" the White Woman demanded.

"...Origin story time?! Ye-eah! Well, it all started after my mom got drunk and slept with my dad. Then she gave birth to me five years ago, and a bunch of nin-"

The woman backhanded him. Hard. So hard that a loud crack echoed throughout the room. The crack made both Tyrion and Hazel cringe. His jaw remained crooked for a moment before another sickening crack filled the room when his jaw forcibly realigned itself. The blond demigod did some mouth exercises before he glared at the woman, who, along with her associates, was shocked at the healed injury.

"Wow, _rude_!" Naruto huffed. He rubbed his jaw with his hand, causing the woman and her associates to blanch at the sight of his regrown arms. "Didn't even let me finish my origin story. Even the impertinent Prince Jojo let me do _that_. ...Oh, hey! Guess who's got two hands and is going to collect his paycheck tonight? This guy!"

With that, he ripped off the restraints and then gripped the top of the gurney that he had been bound to. He pulled himself off, dodging Tyrion, who shifted into his Scorpion-Man form to attack. The blond demigod leapt up and leapfrogged over Hazel as he became a being of electricity.

"Get him! Don't let him escape!" The White Woman demanded.

"Huh, this is actually going really well for me! What a dream come true!" Naruto cried out with a smile. He froze, stopping mid-run. "Wait...Wait a minute...Hold the phone...something ain't right."

Tyrion, more scorpion than man at this point, stabbed him through the gut with his stinger and then chopped off his arms. The blond's arms grew back faster than one could blink and he pulled Tyrion in, clocking him across the face. The blow sent Tyrion the Scorpion-Man flying through a wall.

"Do you mind!? I'm having a revelation here!" Naruto's eye twitched and he stared at his fist. "How did I do that? I ain't 616 DP. I ain't got no super strength, just enhanced strength at best."

"Kill him!"

Hazel charged with a roar, his body going full Jamie Foxx's Electro. Naruto locked hands with Hazel, meeting the living electric man's gaze. Then, he whipped the man at an outlet, where he was absorbed into the power grid.

"...You're strong." The White Woman realized. She began to undo her cloak. "Too strong. I must submit to you and-"

"Ah-bah-buh-dah! Hold it! Time _out_!" Naruto snapped, freezing the world around him with a scowl on his face. He glared at the ceiling as the dark room began to fracture around him. "I could allow being time-skipped into the midst of an enemy's lair, I could allow the not-Lannister becoming Scorpion 2099, and I could believe that the Living Megawatt would be absorbed by an outlet! But not even in my wildest, lust induced fantasies would Salem _ever_ succumb to my awesomeness without a good paddling first! I'm going to say this once, and only once!"

Naruto pointed at the sky as his suit reappeared over his body, undamaged, unmolested, and basically cleaned of all blood.

"GET THE _FUCK_ OUT OF _MY_ HEAD!"

* * *

"Ugh!" A mint-haired girl with dark skin stumbled back into a ruined book case. Her nose had a line of blood falling down it. She groaned and rubbed her head. And the day had been going so smoothly. She'd managed to pick the pocket of a clueless old man, and she'd hunted down the guy Cinder wanted dead.

Never before had she seen a mind as...random as the one she'd just tried to capture. when he interrupted their hit. His subconscious, the basically _ignored_ portion of the conscious mind, had fought back against her. Her red eyes glanced over at her ally, a silver haired boy clad in a black and silver getup. He glanced at her, arching a brow, before returning his gaze to the still blond that stood in the doorway with his swords drawn.

"Wow. Klutz much?" he asked.

"Shut up, Mercury." The girl said with a scowl. She wiped the blood away from her nose and looked at the blond. "We need to leave. Now."

"What? Come on, Em. We got a job to do." The silver-haired boy, Mercury, said. He lifted his leg and kicked the blond that had interrupted his fun. He didn't expect the left sword to suddenly lift up and catch his foot, the flat of the blade blocking the hidden barrel in his boot. Mercury blinked before he turned to look at the girl. "...Emerald, why is he awake?"

"I tried to warn you," The girl, Emerald, grumbled as she pulled out her weapons, two long-barreled revolvers. She aimed and fired, hitting the blond in the chest twice. Blood dripped down from the entrance and exit holes, darkening the white shirt he wore.

"...Well, now I'm pissed." Naruto lifted his head and glared at the two, his eyes glowing an eerie shade of purple. The wounds in his chest slowly closed shut. "I come out to get myself some nice reading material, maybe even find a map of this stupid planet, and what do I find? A couple of wannabe assassins trying to make their boss proud by killing a _clerk_ that would make Randal look like the employee of the month."

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" The clerk in question, a Faunus with thick mutton chops, asked with a scowl.

"Shut it, Cougar Town, or I'll do their job for them!" Naruto snapped, glaring at the man. The clerk held his hands up and backed away. Naruto looked back at the two would-be assassins, his purple eyes glinting with madness as he looked at the silver-haired boy. "You ever hear about the one-legged man and the ass-kicking contest?"

"The wha-AAAGH!" Mercury cried out as his leg was suddenly severed from the mid-calf down. Blood sprayed onto Naruto's face as the boy fell back. Naruto scowled.

"I said _stop that_." His purple eyes glowed brighter. The one-legged Mercury disappeared and reappeared, leg intact, standing beside the clerk. Naruto lifted Arturia and shifted it into its gun mode. Three shots made Mercury back away from the clerk.

"Hey! You mind not putting holes in my sto-Gak!"

Mercury and Emerald stared with wide eyes as their mark fell back with a hole in his head. They looked back at the purple-eyed blond, who was grinning madly.

"Whoops, curse that darn itchy trigger finger," he said with a chuckle. A flick of his wrist and Arturia shifted back into its blade form. "Now, time for me to take a few inches off. Approximately, nine inches to be exact. And that, my friends, is a _magic_ number."

"...I get the feeling he isn't talking about trimming our hair," Mercury said. He suddenly cried out as he was launched forward. The silver-themed teen flipped around in the air and spun, sending two blasts from his feet. His attacker, a duplicate of the blond, took the shots and exploded into a cloud of smoke. Mercury grimaced as he landed beside Emerald. "Oh, great. He can heal _and_ he's a cloner…"

"Cloner!? How dare you! I am not the OG, spamming Kage Bunshin this way and that!" Naruto snapped. His eyes continued to glow and multiple duplicates of the blond began to appear, slowly swirling into existence. Each spoke at once, all sounding rather irked. "I am the _Son_ of Madness, you patricidal little shit! You want to play mind games, kiddos? Alrighty then, let's play some _mind_ games!"

"What's that mean? ...Emerald?" Mercury looked at his ally. Emerald's eyes were glowing bright purple. Blood was seeping down her nose. He grabbed her shoulder and jostled her. "Emerald? Hey! Snap out of it!"

"Oh, she can't hear you, _boy_." A chorus of deep voices echoed. "It's just you and us now."

Mercury froze. He _knew_ that voice. Looking around, he saw that every blond had changed. They had become tall, white haired men with darker skin. Each man stood a head taller than himself and had legs just like his, only they were exposed as the prosthetic limbs they were.

"Shit."

Then the men moved. Marcus Black was a drunkard when Mercury fought him, tired and weakened by age. But now, not only did he fight the man in his prime, he fought an endless army.

Needless to say, Mercury Black did not walk away from this fight.

Hell, he didn't even crawl.

* * *

"What to do with you?" Naruto mused as he walked around the tied up Emerald, tossing the bloody head of a silver-haired teen. Bleeding out beside her was her now deceased and very headless ally, Mercury Black. The blond mercenary was rather elated to learn that Aura did not defend against his illusions. It evened the playing field a bit. Sure, it took a few swings, but eventually Mercury's aura dropped.

"...You could let me go?" Emerald watched the head of her comrade bounce in the blond's hand. She never really _liked_ Mercury. He was tolerable at best. Her gaze went to her weapons, dismantled and scattered around her. She didn't even know how he did that.

"I could do that, couldn't I? Let you go running off and reporting back to Cinder. Hm, I could you follow you, too. Watch you try to warn the arrogant bitch that you are devoted to," Naruto said, humming in thought. He held Mercury's head up like it were a skull in a Mistral play. "Maybe even get a lead as to where I could find my target for this fic."

"She could tell you-"

Mercury's head was thrown out the window and the blond clapped his hand over her mouth, shoving something in that shut her up. It was long, rubbery and...Emerald blanched, gagged, and tried to spit the object out. Another clap and something with adhesive left the phallic object in her throat, muffling her protests.

"Shut up! I'm having a thing! You know, that thing with the images and the sounds that make something sort of creative and sometimes smart come out of your mouth? Gah, what's it called?!" Naruto snapped his fingers and scrunched his eyes. "It's sort of like a brain explosion! Oh yeah, that's it!"

Emerald watched as the blond rummaged around in one of the pouches on his waist before he pulled out a small amount of...clay? He turned on her and grinned as his blue eyes started to glow purple. She swallowed, heavily.

"I have an idea."

 _One excessive use of plastic explosives later…_

"Okay, admittedly, that plan probably wouldn't have ever really gotten us anywhere," Naruto said from where he stood outside the remains of Tukson's Book Trade.. He watched a small black figure fly up into the stratosphere before it fell back towards the planet. He took one step to the left and held his arms out. "Don't worry! I got ya, Emmy!"

The charred, burnt, and positively destroyed corpse of one Emerald Sustrai smacked down into the space he previously stood in. He pursed his lips, looked down at the body, and then grimaced.

"Ooh...My bad. That's on me. They usually always hit just one step away. ...Oh well!" He shrugged and interlaced his hands behind his head, strolling away from the blazing inferno while sirens cried out in the distance. Time slowed to a crawl and he looked at the Audience. "Y'know something? I think I'm forgetting about something. Something important. ...Ah, it'll come to me. See y'all next time! Play me off, Loser!"

With that, the blond waved at the audience once last time before he jogged away as Andrew W.K.'s "Ready To Die" began to play again.

Halfway through the song, the music stopped and Naruto, now a speck in the eyes of his viewers, stopped.

"Aw, fuck! I forgot to ask where Hansel is! Wait! Wait, Loser, don't you dare end it here! You son of a bi-!"

* * *

 **AN: Yep. I saw DP2. Twice the glory, triple the holes. Now, Dionysus' Naruto is in Remnant. How did he get here? What reading group was he talking to? Will he find Hazel? And will I ever stop being so sporadic with updates?! These questions and more will be answered...**

… **Right now. Hecate's Magic; E4E's RWBY group; Yes; and oh, god** _ **no**_ **.**

 **Thanks for reading, you lovely people you.**

 **Now y'all know what I want ya to do!**

 **REWHEREISFRANCIS?!**


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